Did Cashman cut his tongue out?

I think so...

George Steinbrenner stayed silent about Joe Torre's job status following the Yankees' latest loss

Gonna be an A-bomb once it goes off.

Scientists are getting reports of a possible volcano erupting near Tampa Bay

How many more games do the Skanks lose before DBG loses it?
1?
2?
KKKlemens must be looking like this right about now...

The Yankess are a $195M last place team

..owner George Steinbrenner hasn't commented on the slide.

"He won't say anything tonight. We'll see if he has anything to say tomorrow," spokesman Howard Rubenstein said.

Oh, I think I know what he'll say: "GET ME THE ROCKET ON THE PHONE NOW YOU STUPID SONS OF BITCHES!!"

The Rookie Hughes' Lament

How about some RUNS?

Why Is Minky Batting Second?

Okay, I know with Jeter's injury, Mr. Torre is a little hamstrung filling out the lineup card, but come on. Why would he want Minky to have more opportunities to come to bat than Bobby, A-Rod (I think he's earned his rightfull nickname TC, for the time being at least), the Rhoidbino, Matsui, Jor-Ji or Cano (to name a few).

It's past time.

It may not be a walkoff but...

I'll take it

After the fiasco in the Fens Willy Mo redeemed himself. He's got his chance to shine and I hope he makes the most of it. We're still a little bitter about giving up Bo Derek for him.

The Darth THUD! Brigade

Hmm, last place... figure that's gonna cost, what? An extra 2.8 million Rocket bucks? Compounded weekly?

Fuck it, just shoot me and put MY goddamn ass on the DL, too.

Girardi's Available

Full Blown Panic Mode

Desperate Bombers say 'Hughes gotta believe'

So it's come to this: Hughes will be the fifth rookie to start a game this season. At that time, kids who should be down on the farm, learning, will have been thrown into this season's sausage machine for 25% of the games played. Andy friggin' Pettite is the only face Torre seems to trust coming out of the bullpen. It feels like Farnsworth has been banished to some hell dimension on Planet Torre while Vizcaino, Proctor and Bruney are vieing for the title of "first reliever to burn out before the All Star break."

Clemens has gotta be loving this.

If not for A-Hole's torrid hitting, Darth Boss George would have gone full-tilt psycho by now.

Why The Standing Ovation?

Am I crazy. Didn't he give up 5 earned runs over 7 plus innings (and is on the hook for a potential 6th run)? When did giving up 5 or more runs over 7 innings become standing ovation worthy?

UPDATE: 6 earned runs over 7 innings.

Torre Wants Me to Pop an Anuerism

Pettite out of the bullpen?

GIVE ROCKET THE MONEY, NOW!

Did I forget to mention aura?

BANG
BANG
BANG
BANG!

Unto the Breach

This website dies Monday morning. I tried, but I'm tired. I went to the wall; invited Michelle back in!, after warring with her....

I get? Bupkiss.

Take your shots. Unless I know by noon, eastern, on Monday that someone besides Me, Ric, and El Jefe are playing, it ends. And I ain't happy with them.

We can play over at LeatherPenguin. I'll give access as worth it.

If they wanna. At this point I'm riding an almighty "Fuck the world."

UPDATE: still pisse at the world, but hereabouts? not so much.

It's Only April, But...

it's still the Red Sox, so no matter how much I'd rather see the Yanks get their hands on the Mutts right now, I gotta play the cards I'm dealt.

Avoiding a sweep this weekend is all I ask from the Yankees. I think all the pressure is on the Sawx. Their batters are facing a pretty iffy trio of pitchers. You'd be insane to bet on Karstens or Wright handling that lineup, but stranger things have happened whenever these two teams meet. Pettite? I have no idea what Andy is gonna show up tonight. At the beginning of the season he was considered, at best, the Number Three; now he's the Number One. So if one of them can manage to win, I'll be a happy camper.

On the other side, Shilling, Beckett and Dicey have to shut down a batting order that is wicked scarier than anything they've seen so far this season. RhoidBoy seems to be getting into a groove, and having Matsui on the DL hasn't affected the offense at all. And A-Hole is sitting in the four hole, so smoking hot it's goddamn insane.

The Red Sox got to prove they can handle that lineup while the front line Yankee pitchers are not in the equation. If the Yanks manage to win two of the three games, RSN is gonna get freaked. If the Yanks somehow pull off a sweep, the Nation will go borderline mental....

If A-Hole goes bonkers and beats the crap out of Boston's top line pitchers in the process of that sweep going down, Red Sox nation will need fucking therapy. It'll be last August's "Boston Massacre" all over again. They'll all be curled up on the floor in fetal positions, sucking their thumbs and moaning "Why, God? WHY?"

UPDATE: Torre panics, blows it.

I just threw up in my mouth

Is it too early to think destiny?

This is an Odd Feeling

Here it is, the day before the first meetup with the feckless Fenway fuckwits, and for me, it does... nothing. Whereas usually such an occasion would bring forth that sweet mixture of glee, rage and dread in my head, all I'm thinking is:

"Fuck the Sox. I want the Mutts and I want them NOW, while the hitting and bullpen are so smoking hot it don't matter who the hell Torre hands the ball to at the beginning of the game."

It's very weird. I look at the standings and see handing out a beatdown in Boston this weekend puts the Yanks in first place, and while I dig the idea, in my heart I don't really give a shit. I'd much rather see hellfire rained down on the Mutts so my next door Mutt fan neighbor has to shut the fuck up.

Whoa, A-Hole

He's getting to be ridiculous.

The Bestest Way to Spend a Rainy Sunday

Yogi and a Movie: "The Jackie Robinson Story"

It's such a horrible movie that I just love it.

Whoever's Got The Pavano Voodoo Doll

Enough already!

I would say it's starting to get ridiculous, but we're way beyond that at this point.

"Hello? Columbus? Get me Hughes NOW!!"

You just knew this was coming sooner rather than later.

Is it Too Early for Me to Want Farnsworth Woodshedded?

I think not. Discuss

WTF is with this weather?

This is not the way that God intended the season to begin... Rather than sunburned noses from Gore's devasting suns rays, baseball parks across U.S.F'n A. have been getting regular analingus from Aeolus.
Cashman's Headwarmer demands warmer weather!

Was This A-Hole's RhoidBoy Moment?

Rodriguez hits grand slam to win it

While being ordered about in a Spring Cleaning frenzy I'm watching the game and saying, "oh, Jesus, Clemens is SO coming back." Then RhoidBoy jacks a three, and I'm saying, "Honey? THE LIVING ROOM IS MINE." Then comes the ninth; Cano gets on and my "Hazel" act ends. Jeter walks. I say out loud, "Oh shit, here goes A-Hole."

Wife--who had also left her cleaning behind--says "Abreu's up."

ME: "No, he'll get on. The Gods demand this comes down to A-Hole."

Abreu gets nailed on the knee and I'm all, "I told you! If he doesn't drive in at least one run he's gonna get crucified on the Easter edition back pages and there ain't enough shrinks in the city to pull him out of the boo-hole he gets buried in."

And he smacks it into the black seats. Not just over the wall; over the old wall.

Death Valley. Mantle & Reggie territory.

I cannot wait to see how the NY Posties and Daily News' crew deal with writing the headline.

I think this might be like RhoidBoy's ninth inning, in the rain slam; it might make people cut him some goddamn slack. Look, I don't like the guy, at all, as you all know. But jumping all over his shit this early doesn't do anyone good.

So maybe today gives him some breathing space... as long as he doesn't forget to "shut the fuck up and play!"

RhoidBoy rode that slam... maybe not back into everyone's heart (I still think he should be fucking indicted), but at least he showed he wasn't gonna whine; wasn't gonna cry to reporters, and realized "Do something!" is all we request if we're gonna pay the ridiculous money that finances your fat life.

I also liked that when A-Hole rounded third and was heading for home, the first two guys to greet him were Jorge and Jeter. The Old Guard. It diffused all the internecine bullshit.

Just win, baby!

Let the Bidding War Begin!

if this kid's for real, he's gonna be one of the richest bullpen guys in history:

The pitch was nothing remarkable: Pat Venditte, Creighton University’s temporarily right-handed pitcher, threw a fastball past a Northern Iowa batter for a called strike three. It was his next windup that evinced this young pitcher’s uniqueness and, perhaps, professional future.

As his teammates whipped the ball around the infield, Venditte smoothly, unthinkingly, removed his custom glove from his left hand and slipped it on his right. Moments later he leaned back, threw a strike left-handed to the next batter, and finished the side in order.

Throwing Batters Curves Before Throwing a Pitch

Switch those standings, BITCH!

Well, thanks to a dominating performance by Dice-K over the lowly Royales w/out cheese and an underwhelming performance by Andy "back spasm" Pettite over the equally lowly Tampa fishsticks, just like that, Beantown is back on top. Holy run on sentence, Batman! Hey Jeets, thanks for the GG caliber D!!
Picture courtesy of ESPN (all staff are Red Sux fans according to nyyfans.com- those guys rule!)

Where Be the RSN Contingent?

The Royals?

Schooled by the ROYALS?

If not for CHB acting like a tool, I'd be climbing all over Shill's performance yesterday right about now.

I thought the NY Post's Joel Sherman was the biggest douchebag sports writer; CHB proves that thought wrong.

Opening Day Highlight

BOB-EEE MUR-CER
clap, clap, clapclapclap

BOB-EEE MUR-CER
clap, clap, clapclapclap

Bobby returns to the booth

A No Doubter

As in the game was no longer in doubt - not with Mariano in the pen.

Still, what would we rather he do in that situation?

MVP

You all know who I'm talking about.

If there was any justice in the world, his hit in the sixth would be a fine start to an attempt to win a third MVP award.

Top 2004 Free Agent Returns

Pavano is back. His long layoff has had no effect on his level of performance; he has picked up just where he left off a season and half ago.

We can look forward to many more performances just like this one.

Let the Madness Begin

SAY HEY! IT'S OPENING DAY!


Anybody know where I can get FAA info? I want a heads-up on what WarPorn machines are going to be doing the National Anthem overflight.

Bad Choice of Simile, Cashie

Pavano has gone from Yankee pariah to Opening Day starter

"I wanted him here and he wanted to be here; he was Humpty Dumpty and we wanted to put him back together again," Cashman says. "In New York, the perception was that he was broken, but I didn't buy that. We were going to use all the king's horses and all the king's men to put him back together again and find a way to make this thing work."

One problem, Cashman: THEY COULDN'T DO IT!

I wonder how long this season it will take for me to go stark raving, full-tilt boogie insane?

What If

I know we don't like A-Rod at this site, but for practical purposes, what the f--- happens if he leaves town as a free agent? What do the Yankees do for right-handed power and a third baseman? They have no third base prospect ready for the majors or even in their top 10 prospects. Most of their top prospects are pitchers. Could a deal for Miguel Cabrera be in the cards?

Crystal Ball

Feel compelled to make my picks.

AL East - Yankees
AL Central - Twinkies (Matt Garza and Barf, excuse me, Boof Bonser step up)
AL West - Angels

NL East - Phillies (Mets don't have the pitching)
NL Central - sucks!
NL West - Dodgers

World Series - Yanks v. Dodgers, Yanks win, the-e-e-e-e-e Yankees win!

Waiting for the Other Shoe

I'm still waiting to hear that Carl Pavano has suffered a season-ending splinter injury in his right hand.