"Manny, Get Over Here Now!"

In a certified "Manny being Manny" moment, Red Sox left fielder Manny Ramirez is selling a gas grill on eBay. Ramirez will tack an extra $70 on to the winning bid for shipping cost.

And he'll throw in an autographed ball!

Verducci Hates the Yankees!!!

Here is the newest article summarizing why the Yankees will not win the World Series.... somewhere, right now, there is a NYYFAN.COMer screaming his typing fingers hoarse about the YankeesBias (probably trademarked by now...) Excuse me while I go puke.

Stirring the Pot

DAMON'S TAKE: WE'RE THE BEST

I liked this bit:

When you spend time around these Yankees, you realize they have loosened up from years past and most of that is due to Damon and Giambi establishing their personalities in the clubhouse. In turn, that has helped bring out more of Jeter's personality.

"Now he's got two idiots to take the pressure off of him," is the way Giambi put it.

Yes, I'm That Guy

Hmmm, all the parade's are over... turn on the...YES Network!... Game Four, 1998 World Series....

A Swig for Ricky Ledee. "Banged Around" Brown getting banged around! "I'm Too Dumb to be Allowed To Speak" McCarver claiming Bernie will "obviously" go free agent (like Darth Boss would ever allow it...) And who is this little bottle with "Glen" in its name laying naked before me?....

BRILLIANT!

Bowie Bows Out

Former MLB commissioner Bowie Kuhn dead at 80 - International Herald Tribune

"I want it to be remembered that I was commissioner during a time of tremendous growth in the popularity of the game," he said, "and that it was a time in which no one could question the integrity of the game."

He presided over the MLB when everything changed.

Die in a Fire, A-Hole... no, Really. Die In A Goddamned Fire

...BY NIGHT, FANNED ALEX WON'T 'RUN AWAY'

Six hours was all it took for Alex Rodriguez to backtrack like an All-Pro cornerback.

At about 4 o'clock yesterday Rodriguez strongly hinted this would be his final season in The Bronx. At 10 p.m,. A-Rod said he was simply overmatched by WFAN hosts, Mike Francesa and Chris Russo.

SHIT! We were ready to give you a pass this year.

So much for that idea.

Shows What I Know

This was my last post here. Well, I wasn't too far off on the lineup and I still think a transplanted Sheff would be a better choice at first than what the Yankees currently have. I was dead wrong on the rotation though and I have to say that I like the current rotation much better. I'd much rather have Pettitte than Zito and anyone than The Unit. And, TC hatred for him notwithstanding, I look forward to the day that the other forty-something future hall of fame pitcher signs his part year deal and takes Bob's number. He should be peaking just around the time it really counts.

As for the manager. Let's just hope the starters can pitch enough innings to minimize the need for him to make strategical decisions.

BOW, You Ronin!

News: Major League Baseball News: "MATSUI? HUGE JAP"

I'm looking for the video, but the Boston Japs were ducking way lower than Godzilla when they were all doing the bowing crap at home plate.

"That's right, grasshoppers... I own you fuckers! WELCOME TO THE BRONX"

Oh, and since Igawa wasn't invited to the Shiatsu woop-de-doo... Scranton, Gaigin!

Signed, Pavano's mother

Get the women and children indoors! Too late...

"The reason I left, my girlfriend had a severe medical condition and I had to be with her," Pavano said.

Starring Joe Torre as Mister Kotter in Welcome Back, Pavano...

And I thought Carl Everett was a problem child.

Not Enough

Ok, it's hockey, not the Yankees, but the punishment handed out to the Islanders' Chris Simon is insufficient. Maximum time he'll serve if the Islanders go the limit in the playoffs is 43 games. Minimum is 25 games. For attempting to decapitate someone. He could have killed the guy with the way he swung the stick. Could have connected in the Adam's Apple, and that's all she wrote. Ban him for a minimum of one calendar year, with reinstatement conditional upon approval by the league. That's justice.

Full Tilt Asskissing Underway

New York Daily News - Yankees - Bob Raissman: On Clemens, a resounding YES

On Wednesday night, the Yankees Entertainment & Sports Network was scheduled to air an exhibition game between the Bombers and Reds. Instead, the network presented its tribute to Roger Clemens.

Just a coincidence...not!

March is the time for this sort of baseball fantasy. And who better to present it than the suits at Al Yankzeera? Schooled in the art of propaganda, they know just how to stoke the mental fires. In the course of six innings, Al Yank tantalized any Yankees fan panting to see Clemens back in pinstripes. They also produced a Rocket recruiting video the bozos in Boston and Houston never will duplicate.

It started even before Clemens' pal, Andy Pettitte, threw the first pitch. YES' camera was right on Joe Torre greeting Clemens. The manager was careful to also warmly welcome Koby. What better way to make a dad feel great than by treating his son like royalty?

St. Joe ain't St. Stupid, right?

From the NY Post:

It was there that Joe Torre, Derek Jeter, Ron Guidry, Reggie Jackson, Yogi Berra and Larry Bowa chatted with Clemens, who was on hand to see buddy Andy Pettitte pitch in last night's 1-1 tie with the Reds. Yet, Clemens' presence at the park created images of the Rocket's re-entry into the Yankees' universe.

After watching Pettitte work three innings, Clemens visited with George Steinbrenner in the Boss' suite in the home sixth.

"I was here and I wanted to say hello," said Clemens of the three-minute meeting that preceded him doing an inning on YES.

Asked what The Boss said to him, Clemens replied, "I will pass on that one."

Shit, I can reconstruct that conversation:
DBG: "How much, Roger?"
Clemens: "I'll tell you in about two months, Boss."
DBG: "And I'll give it to you, son. You can take that to the bank."
Clemens: "I fully intend to, sir."

RUMOR: HE WANTS $4 mill PER MONTH!

I'll take 50%

Hell, I'll even take the 40%.

Strikes to 10 of the first 12 and a 94mph heater? Yeah, I'm good with that.

Umm, Err, Does Cash Know About This?

Welcome to Philip Hughes' Official Website!

Someone Post Something or I'm Picking a Fight With Da Chief

boring, boring... "look! Pavano's ass asploded!"

and Mo wants a hundred billion.

and he's so ready for it.

Yipee! New (Old School) Blood

All We Need Now is that Long Island Chick

glance to the right side of the screen...

The Only Thing Good in Queens

Jackson Heights

swear to G, this ain't me. And I had nuthin' to do with it.

But I can't speak Spitalian, either.

and I don't know nuthing about that DEA crap...

except "Superserious Godhead."
That one, yeah... I'll bite the bullet; I made it up. Donutz says he wrote it, but most of it... I just shittied it from my lips.

I always admired "bi-cameral."

I'm SO gonna get shot when the sun comes up and we do the Paddy's Day Parade.

YouTube - Trace Adkins - Bugs Bunny - Swing Batter Swing

YouTube - Trace Adkins - Bugs Bunny - Swing Batter Swing

Teh Funny

really...

You Started This...

Michael Kay is the AntiChrist, AND I'M THE PERFECT DUMB BASTARD BECAUSE I'M WATCHING IT....

UPDATE: DAMON FIRST SWINGS A HOME RUN!

eleventy00!!11!!

find me El Jefe. He owes me a case of IPA.

UPDATE: I'm officially over the wire; I came home, turned on the TV, and immediately called up "Yogi and a Movie."

Perspective

Reggie, Goose and Graig made the Bronx Zoo wild:

"If you want to know what happens when teammates really can't stand each other, think of Nettles punching out Reggie after the 1981 American League Championship Series, or Gossage and Cliff Johnson in a violent clubhouse brawl in 1979 that left the Yankee closer with a torn ligament in his pitching hand, dooming the season.

Today's STFU Moment

Jesus Christ! Is Manny pulling a Gay-Rod or what?

MURRAY F'N CHASS!

Once again, old Murray manages to embarass the NYT sports section. He obviously hates "new age" baseball. He's got some real zingers for quotes... Ol' Cantankerous Murr.... time to take the old horse and buggy home, hang up the derby, churn some butter and call it a career.

ATTENTION, MY FELLOW MORONS!

We're boring ourselves to sleep. We need new blood here. I got (wait a second)...97 Gmail accounts to divvy out for people who want to sit at the bar and throw monkey poo at me and you.

Oh, and I'm working on turning the layout upside down and inside out... which means if you got a suggestion, bring the sucker up.

this is part of my starting point:


I'm losing all that "strike back" crap... hell, we're running a frickin' cliche already with "Darth Boss George."

BUT THIS WILL ALWAYS BE AN OUTPOST OF THE EVIL EMPIRE.
(at least until Henry gets crazier than that hundred mill he dumped on a question mark Jap.)

I Feel Safe That I'll Be Low Score Here

You Are 4% Massachusetts

You Yankees loving homo! You probably think Starbucks coffee tastes better than Dunkin Donuts.

How Massachusetts Are You?

I must, though, tell the ASSHOLE who wrote this script: Dunkin Donuts is the five boroughs, numbnuts, even if it was born in Quincy. That Starbucks shit was hoped for by a pack of HAA-vaahd Yard, Beacon Hill weenies. I've never--and will never--give them a frickin' nickel as long as there are dirty pushcarts shoveling dogs, pretzels, and cantakerous cups of joe.

UH-OH!!!

Abreu strained his oblique during his fall from the ugly tree... let the Nancy Drew comparisons begin!!

If He was a Horse, He'd Have Been Put Down by Now

THE KING OF PAIN By GEORGE KING - Yankees - New York Post Online Edition

February 26, 2007 -- TAMPA - The MRI tube at St. Joseph's Hospital should have Yankee pinstripes and the No. 45 painted on the side.

When the Yankees' medical staff told Carl Pavano yesterday he was headed to the hospital for an MRI and X-rays of his left foot, the oft-injured pitcher didn't need to ask directions.

Listen up, Punk: even if that hoof is broken, you wrap that sucker up and pitch, dammit! Or Moose may damn well kill you.

I Need to Find Me a Japanee!

I was reading this, Interpreters in Baseball Making Sure Nothing Is Lost in Translation - New York Times, and it dawned on me I need to find a Japanese guy (Wife wouldn't stand for a girl) equivalent for my buddy, Manny the Spic, to let me know when the interpreter is lieing through his teeth. Manuel usually ends up saying, "that's not what he said, asshole," when we'd watch guys interpret Spanish-only players' comments and such, then give the real translation. Most times the difference in translations would be minimal, but sometimes the interpreter would be delivering real whoppers in their attempt to clean up what some pissed-off player was really saying.

I mean, I'd seee the look on Matsui's face when he'd answer some question, and after hearing the interpreter's English answer--always eith far longer or outrageously shorter than the gibberish Matsui had spit, be sitting there thinking, "I know that ain't right."

Shocker! Yank Beat Writers Hacks Write About Baseball

And they are all drooling over young Master Hughes...
HUGHES DA MAN By GEORGE KING - New York Post:

The Yankees can't play the media card ever again concerning Philip Hughes. No longer is he a product of the hype machine. As of yesterday, every story concerning the right-hander will start with glowing observations from Jason Giambi and Todd Pratt.

The kid faced RhoidBoy, Matsui, Todd Pratt and Raul Chavez in a 34 pitch BP session. Only two balls were hit into fair territory.

Harper in the Daily News, on the reaction from people watching the kid's first session:

Even an old hand such as third base coach Larry Bowa sounded like a crazed fan after watching Hughes snap off a sharp-breaking curveball that froze Todd Pratt at the plate.

"Did you see that hook?" Bowa screamed as he came jogging past a couple of reporters near the Yankee dugout. "That was nasty."

Newsday's hack featured this from the Giambalco: "he's just got filthy stuff," who went on to liken Master Philip to "a young Rocket" who should have been called up last year.

So even though everyone with the Yanks' braintrust is adamant that Hughes will not be coming north when the Yanks break camp (a decision Jorge Posada seems to think should be an absolute no-brainer; that the kid is ready to rumble with the big boys right now), how long will it take the beat writers to start banging their pots and pans and demand that Philip breaks camp and heads for the Bronx instead of AAA ball?

I'd say the howling will begin after the first exhibition game that Igawa or Punkass Pavone get whacked around.

Stop. Stop. STOP!

This is getting ridiculous (all emphasis mine)
New York Daily News - John Harper: Score it an error on Derek for big chill:

Only now, finally, Jeter finds himself in a situation where something other than performance does matter. He repeatedly avoided questions yesterday by saying his relationship with A-Rod had no relevance to the Yankees trying to win a championship, and here is where he was dead wrong.

Of course it matters because it matters to A-Rod, or at least it did for the last three seasons, when A-Rod desperately wanted to restore his old friendship with Jeter, to the point where it may have messed with his head.

The good news for Yankee fans is that A-Rod finally felt secure enough to go public about his diminished friendship with Jeter. Perhaps that will translate to a more comfortable A-Rod this season, one who will be less concerned with trying to please the world and more likely to relax and hit when it counts.

Still, A-Rod's characterization of his relationship with Jeter demanded some type of explanation from the captain. But he wasn't budging yesterday, stonewalling questions about what happened to their friendship, particularly when he was asked about the infamous Esquire Magazine article from 2001.

ARE YOU OUT OF YOU FLIPPING MICK MIND, HARPER? If I walk up to you, spit in your face and call you a POS, you're NOT gonna tell me to "go screw" for the rest of my natural born life?

When did Oprah steal your balls?

Whatever the reason, people who know him [Jeter] say that when he believes a trust has been broken, nothing can repair the damage.

Damn right. I had a cousin who years ago dissed me over an invitation to his wedding. He invited me, but NOT the girl I'd been living with for three years (and the "out of wedlock" crap wasn't even his excuse; it's was "no seats" with a 300 plus guest list). Everyone told me "let it go." I said "No, he's fucking dead to me." Wouldn't talk to the little fuck for years--and today barely can manage a "hello", but never made an issue of it; I just ignored him, as I also ignored every little NOODGE who tried to play "peacemaker."

FUCK THAT. HE SAYS "I WAS A DICK" AND IT ENDS. That's all A-Hole needs to do, too.

You ALL Better Just STFU

Jeter: I Support A-Hole

TAMPA, Fla. -- Derek Jeter said Tuesday that his cooled friendship with Alex Rodriguez is an unimportant topic, one day after the third baseman admitted that the teammates are no longer as close as they once were.

"It doesn't surprise me," Jeter said Tuesday. "I don't see the relevance of it. We support each other and we're pulling for each other. That's all that matters. The relationship has no bearing on us playing baseball."

translation: "hey, the dude's my bitch and he damn well knows it. He should shut his pie hole and MAKE ME A SAMMICH!"

What is this? An episode of Will & Grace?

As if the two were ever best buds. What the Hell was Gay-Rod thinking when he decided it was "important to publicly confirm what others have said since he joined the team?"

I'll tell ya' why. It's because EVERYONE hates you. It's because you go to FIVE shrinks. It's because you CHOKE. It's because you have to look up TEAMMATE in the dictionary.

It's the curse of Gay-Rod. I've been saying it since he left Seattle. Thank GOD ALMIGHTY we didn't get him.

Boo Frickin' Hoo

this guy is a fucking idiot (this time, I'm not talking about The Lip)New York Daily News - Sports - Mike Lupica: Heater gone, so only thing left is hot air:

"Randy Johnson suggested yesterday that somehow he was used as a floor mat during his time with the Yankees. He was not, unless you count the way he got hit by the Angels and Tigers in the playoffs.

Johnson was judged here the way everybody is, on results. This is still a results place and Yankee Stadium is still a home office for that, the way it is the home office for tradition and World Series titles and the biggest money and all the rest of it. If Johnson had delivered the way he was supposed to, and that means winning the most important games he pitched for the Yankees, it would not seem so important to him that some of the people criticizing him didn't get to know what a swell guy he really is."

Right. We remember the dumbfuck's intro to Fun City.

You had one purpose: win playoff games.

Go die in a fire.

He's One Second's from TRIGGER FLEX AWAY FROM GETTING HIS ASS Fucking Shot

ROCKET: 80-20 I'LL RETIRE By GEORGE KING - Yankees - New York Post Online Edition:"

Clemens yesterday told Houston television station KRIV there is an 80 percent chance he is going to end his Hall of Fame career by retiring."

Oh, excuse me... where have I heard that bullshit before? You come back, yeah, come right back to town....

THERE'S A FIRE AWAITING.

Future Boss

Looks like the mini-Boss took one look at the potential of the BoSox rotation and decided to hit the bottle. What a disgrace!!!! I'm just kidding, I don't judge... Can't say that I blame him though!

Nice Sentiment; Wrong Player

Yankees to honor Cory Lidle - Yahoo! News

TAMPA, Fla. - The
New York Yankees will honor the memory of Cory Lidle by wearing black arm bands on the left sleeves of their uniforms this season.

Sorry, but flying your frickin' plane into the side of a tall building perched on the East River is not, in my eyes, something worthy of being memorialized... especially when the player wasn't exactly what you would call a "go to" guy--or even recognized on a sidewalk by anyone other than the most rabid of Yankee fans.

But if they are going to do this, they damn well better put Hank Bauer's number on that sleeve, too.

Swing, BATTER BATTER!

Let the Madness Begin!

Our Lion in Winter...
TALK TO THE DARTH BOSS HAND!

TAMPA - You knew there would be fallout from George Steinbrenner's near-firing of Joe Torre last October. You just didn't know how much. But Day 1 for Yankees 2007 left no doubt: The circus is in town.

Pitchers and catchers don't take the field for another day, but with Legends Field open for business yesterday, the frenzy was such that an army of reporters, photographers and cameramen not only chased after George Steinbrenner, but earlier chased after George's driver/security man . . . the thinking being that he would lead us to The Boss.

To see and hear George these days is to know how silly this exercise has become. Whether because of age or health issues, he does not pause to answer questions, but merely barks out brief responses while moving, always moving, toward the cover of some area that is off-limits to the press.

Yet we hound him, forever trying to bring back the old George.

New York Daily News - John Harper: Torre's 'A' to 'Z' starts, ends at A-Rod A-Hole
there; fixed that for you...

And here, campers, might be the flat-out dumbest shit imaginable, courtesy of the NY Post's resident tool, blathering about Torre's future:

If Steinbrenner, who has stepped back but will make the call on Torre's pinstriped future, doesn't bring him back, the Boss runs the risk of Torre landing in the Red Sox's dugout. Should the Bosox not make the postseason for the second straight season, Terry Francona could pay the price.

as the FARKers say: O RLY? I cannot for a moment imagine Uncle Joe would trade in all the NYC love he's earned by signing on with the Feckless Fenway Fuckwits™... at least not while Jeter's still wearing Pinstripes. Besides that, I think if they hired Torre, RSN would have a collective heart attack.

When LiteBrites ATTACK

Save Boston!

note: don't click nuthin... the program seems to go bonkers and just shout all the sound clips in an "going downhill" snowball

when I heard " Bucky Effin Dent" I knew this was a keeper.

There's room for one more in the barbershop quartet

Never expected this out of Mo. Always thought of him as a class guy, nice suits and all.

But after that interview it sounds like he's warming up his voice box al a Pedro and Schilling.

Who's next to cry? Hold on...it's the Mutt's #1 pitcher in 2008! Minaya must be absolutely drooling at the possibilities.

What would happen to the Mick and Double-X today?

Bill Clinton can skull-fuck fat broads on the seal but this is causing consternation?

As TC is wont to say, "Asshats"

10 Burning Questions?

The only things worth mentioning in this article are:

1. Really don't give a shit. Honestly. His yearly fucking 'will he or won't he' drama is getting too National Enquirer for me. Listen up, FuKKK-head. Make a decision - NOW - or quit giving interviews to everyone and their teenage daughter journal-keepers.

3. Somewhat justifiable perception? Gay-Rod folds under pressure like a cheap lawn chair. And, much like Will Smith, he's scared of and cries at curse words.

GAME ON!

WELCOME BACK, RED SOX NATION!

I've unfurled my Yankeee flag and hung it above my door...

and all you bottom-feeding Mutt fuckers? DEATH IN SPADES!



a friend asked me," isn't that supposed to be a Yankee thing, that website? So why those two Boston guys you're always seemingly duking it out with... what's up with that?"

ME: Well, douchebags like you won't sign up, so shut the fuck up.

AT LEAST THEY COME OUT TO PLAY.

Are the leaves budding?

Why do I ask? Because it's TRUCK DAY!

However, this day is more important. Why? Because it's the day I nearly resigned from the military and swore I'd NEVER vote for a Democrat again.

With 24 (or so) Hours to Go...

I'm facing a problem: What do you call an apprentice Sith?

Son-in-Law Steve Swindal, who seems to now be more in charge and involved than Darth Boss George (except for DBG's occasional eruptions), obviously cannot be granted "Darth" status; until he shows himself worthy of the title, it will not be bestowed, dammit!

So what do I call the anointed heir?

UPDATE: I've had it all wrong, it seems. Boss George should have never had been tagged "Darth" in the first place. Instead, it should have been "Lord," and Cash should have been "darth-ified."

I think; I'm far too un-grocked to this whole "Star Wars Universe" shit to really understand the damn flow chart controlling these kinda things.

Bite Me More!

Got Melk?

Bummer Day in Da Bronx

Farewell to Yankee great

Hank Bauer, the rough-hewn, much-decorated ex-Marine who went on to become an integral player on seven Yankee championship teams from 1949-59 and whose record of hitting in 17 consecutive World Series games still stands, died yesterday of lung cancer in Shawnee Mission, Kan. He was 84.

more here.

Also, what everyone watching could see coming:

One of the most revered Yankees of this generation acknowledged last night that it finally looks like "Bye-bye, Bernie."

Longtime outfielder Bernie Williams admitted that he is not inclined to take the Yankees up on their recent offer to head to spring training later this month on a minor-league contract, with no guarantee of making their Opening Day roster.

I can't stand the idea that Bernie--who is probably still better than a boatload of players littered around various MLB rosters--won't be coming back. If it was my call, I DUMP A PITCHING SLOT to make room for him, if only out of the fealty he has shown to the Empire.

One Week to Pitchers and Catchers, Right?

BITE ME, CHIEF



----------------


------------
Oh? BTW

A-Hole's New York

AAAAGHH! I'm Doomed

WIFE traded e-mail addys and cell phone numbes with....

Wife came home, dumped her camera, and said, "You might be interested in this... (calls up this pic) I think you know this woman."

ME: "Suzy Q? Where did you take this picture?"
WIFE: "Company had a thing for women.. glass ceiling stuff. She was a scream. You would not believe the dirt that girl can tell."
ME: "Did you ask the obvious question?"
WIFE: "What, I'm stupid? She says Murcer is stable, but "keep praying," because it ain't over."

ME: "What else did she say?"
WIFE: "She's happy a certain guy is going back to Arizona."

A-Hole Intent on TC Switching to "Gay-Rod" Whenever the Asshole's Name is in Play

He's written a novella for knee-biters:

'Out of the Ballpark' follows a boy - appropriately named Alex - whose baseball team is playing in the playoffs. Alex, who is a second baseman, makes a key error in the game and begins to put extra pressure on himself. Only his play gets worse. Sound familiar?

The stuff of nightmares and homicidal fantasies, actually;

Alex's team, the Caribes, overcomes his play to reach the championship game. Alex works harder, waking up before sunrise to practice, throwing a ball against his bedroom wall 500 times a day. Without giving away the ending, let's just say that the Yankees should hope that life imitates art come October.

Projecting much, A-Hole? It's no wonder you wrote for an audience in that age bracket, since anyone older than say, ten--and aware of the author's real life existence--would be cracking up laughing at the idea of "Alex" saving the day.

Tough Choice

But I've gotta go with Pudge just for the epic brawls with TC's favorite. Though he's my favorite current Dirt Dog, Tek's beating up on Gay-Rod doesn't equate the same machismo as a Fisk-Munson title bout.

For What It's Worth...

Goose belongs in the Hall of Fame.
Sparky belongs in Monument Park.

So, one more year, huh?

Quit pulling the Petey and just shut up.

It’s no secret that Pedro and Schilling were not the best of friends, and it’s no secret that Pedro was wounded that Schilling overtook him as the Sox’s best pitcher. It turns out the two pitchers might not be that different after all. Negotiating in the media? Check. Playing on fans’ emotions and Boston’s tendency towards soap operas? Check. Needing the attention focused on himself? Check.

Who's laying odds that Omar Minaya will be on the horn to Bledsoe's old house come the end of the season?

The Boy Who Cried Wolf

That's the link from Fox Sports' MLB site . Should be linked "So long, and thanks for all the fish."

Love Mussina's quote: Pavano "needs to earn the trust from the players, the coaches, the manager and the organization."

No, fuck-tard. The $40M pinhead needs to pitch.

Alright, who's the tool at the AP?

Alright, maybe there are a number of idiots but who is the pud-knocker who wrote this?

Does he really think our rivalry could get any more frothing-mouth rabid? As if tossing some frickin' sushi into the equation is going to get things boiling over.

As TC says, "Asshat"

My Loathing Of this SOB Has Reached Epic Proportion

New York Daily News - Sports - Clemens: Return hinges on playoffs

"You put your body through a lot of punishment and then you come up one game short like (Houston) did last year; for me, it was waste of time," Clemens said. "If you don't have an opportunity to go to the playoffs and have a chance to win, it's a waste of time for me."

Hey, douchebag? Did you ever think that maybe if you had played the entire fucking season they would NOT have finished one game short?

Asshat.

It's Official: DBG Just Bought China

The LoHud Yankees Blog » Yankees reach agreement with Chinese


"Japan?" check!
"Taiwan?" check!
"All those other yeller fellers?"
CHECK!

The New York Yankees and the Chinese Baseball Association held a press conference today in Beijing, China to announce a landmark Memorandum of Understanding that for the first time formalizes a strategic alliance between a Major League Baseball Club and the Chinese Baseball Association.

Hi ho, hi ho, it's eggrolls now we roll

Bobby is a Frackin' GOD

New York Daily News - Yankees - Murcer full of cheer:

"'I'm feeling great. Everything is going along fine with no repercussions or setbacks,' Murcer said. 'It was great having Andy come over, although I'm sure one of the reasons was because Roger is out of town and he didn't have anybody to work out with.'"

Sometimes Lupica is the Dumbest Fuck on the Planet

New York Daily News - Mike Lupica - Mike Lupica's Shooting From The Lip: Joe, Alex on hot seat:

"It is interesting how these things work out sometimes. Joe Torre's fate and A-Rod's fate are suddenly intertwined. "

Yeah, right, Mikey. Uncle Joe walks away with his number already retired, and his place in Pinstripe history assured. A-Hole, even if he has a monster season, and the Yanks go on to a World Series victory, is still fucking A-Hole; unworthy to be Jeter's goddamn caddy.

He Deserves to Go Out on HIS Terms

New York Daily News - Bernie torn on future

He was a major cog in the Machine Team. Someone go wake Darth Boss up and tell him, simply, "no one is allowed to wear Bernie's number anymore. Period. Like Paulie's "21."

YOU LET HIM RETIRE IN PINSTRIPES. AND YOU GIVE HIM A FUCKING DAY, LIKE YOU GAVE THAT DOUCHEBAG CLEMENS, OR AS GOD IS MY WITNESS....

You pissed me to fuckin' heaven's gate they way you--the org--treated Tino when he was leaving. Do it again, especially since Bernie is borne and bred, and I will personally pay for a "Bomb the Bombers" campaign that will make the frackin jihadis look like pikers.... And I'm curently only thinking of killing you in the press.

Don't be dicks about this. Give Bernie his due. Or you will fucking rue.

DBG would make Milton Friedman smile

The new Skankee stadium project is being funded properly in my opinion. DGB is putting up $800M of his own money to pay for it. NYC is putting up the rest ($200M) for parking and the park around the stadium. In 1996 NYC was raking in $7.7M per year just off the Skanks. That figure has to be doubled by now (don't have the latest numbers). Figuring an increase in revenues once the stadium is opened NYC will be in the black by 2019 and from then on around 80% of the revenue will be a net gain (20% for repairs).

On the other hand, the stadium being built near me is going to be a HUGE cost overrun. It's being built in the worst part of the city with nearly ALL funding coming from the taxpayers. I can't believe I'm saying this: I agree with Ralph Nader

The only place gummint should be involved in ANY type of sports is in giving tax breaks to the team. Here's a 2003 breakdown of the stadium deals and how much 'public' money was put into them.

HA! Break the Katchup Money Out

He'll take Kerry out: Hot Air: Red Sox pitcher to run against Kerry?

Yankees Decide to Get Some Takeout

ESPN.com - MLB - Yankees seek working agreement with China baseball:

A contingent of executives from the New York Yankees will fly to China next week with the hope of concluding ongoing negotiations on a working agreement with the China Baseball Association. This could lead to the Yankees dispatching coaches and trainers to work with players in China, and perhaps, in years to come, beginning a baseball academy.

According to a major league executive who has been briefed on the organization's intentions, the Yankees -- operating in consultation with Major League Baseball -- have been in negotiations for seven months on this deal. The Yankees' goal is to get their brand into the world's most populated nation, and put themselves in position, down the road, to scout talent, while working with members of the CBA to improve the state of baseball in China.

As the article notes, this doesn't mean any other team is blocked from pursuing the same kind of deal, but let's be serious; those mad BossBucks can put a Yankee cap on so many Chinese heads that "Yankees" and "baseball" will be friggin' synonyms.

Reason # 7,329 Why New Yorkers are Despicable

In the absence of baseball games, what better way is there to keep "the rivalry" alive than to needlessly shit on New Yorkers in general?! So, I present Exhibit A for the official Complaint: evidence of a "holier than thou" New York persona. The Attitude. Look at this tool... he undoubtedly possesses The Attitude. You know what the NYC Attitude is.... My favorite quote is, "Why is a British man telling me what an American Idol is? I'm not shy -- I'm from The Bronx."

Yes, Ian, you are indeed... you are indeed.

No Longer the "Whipping Boy"

Cashman glad he's not Boss' puppet anymore

The Yankees have gone six seasons without winning the World Series, a baseball eternity for a team of their stature. But Kevin Towers cannot remember a time when Brian Cashman has been happier.

'He had gotten to a point where he was beyond frustrated,' said Towers, the general manager of the San Diego Padres and one of Cashman's closest friends in the game. 'He was taking the heat, but it was for things that were beyond his control.

'But when I talk to him now, he's a different man. Brian is doing what he wants to do, and I have to say, it's not good for the rest of us.'

They ain't reported yet....but

Compare and contrast Skanks and Sox lineups as of today...

Starting pitching: Sox
Relief pitching: Sox
Closer: Skanks
Infield offense: Skanks
Outfield offense: Skanks
Infield defense: Sox (just)
Outfield defense: Skanks

I fully expect DBG to make his whipping boy get some pitching before the start of the season. Who knows who'll be starting in right for the Sox. Me? I'd love to start Hinske in right, Willy Mo in center and Just Drop Drew.

Winter Doldrums

The middle of January is a cold and depressing time in which anxious baseball fans wait for that fateful day when pitchers and catchers report to spring training. Men tend to gain a few pounds due to laziness and excessive drinking (a few dozen nightly Sam Adams are normal, right?)However, while most New Yorkers are stuck spraying Raid along the baseboards or overeating on capicola, Bostonians once again finding themselves gearing up for the annual Superbowl run. To tell you the truth, it's difficult to get any work done with the success of Boston sports. While New Yorkers are able to get to those pesky chores on Sunday, I am stuck sitting on my couch sluggin down beer after beer. It's like a job sometimes....



On a side note, Trot Nixon's tenure in Beantown is officially over as he has signed with the Indians. Farewell my dirty sloth looking friend. You will be missed!

King Rhoid: "Muscles McGuire Belongs!"

BostonHerald.com - MLB Coverage: Bonds backs McGwire, Rose for Hall

Er, maybe it's just my in-ter-per-a-ta-tion, but I believe Pete Rose would spike your juice-riddened body until, like a grape, you popped.

Remember Death Valley?

Look behind "Folly Floater"'s shoulder. 463 feet! I still remember seeeing Bobby Murcer run full speed into one dogging after a fly ball, then bouncing off it and throwing the guy out at third.
I miss Monument Alley. Losing it was the one thing about the Stadium renovation I thought royally sucked.

Who Wants to Post Here?

The Darth Boss George Brigade, at least TC, is getting fucking tired carrying all the weight.

The doors are open. If you can prove you ain't crazier than me--and I enjoy the idea of that Rube Goldberg--you get posting priveleges....

Except for El Jefe. I already know he's fucked in the nut. He's already ready welcome.

Donny! Paulie!

and that Ripkin fella....
2007 BBWAA Hall of Fame Ballot Released

Say a Prayer for Bobby

New York Daily News - Yankees - Murcer battles brain tumor:

"Murcer, 60, a Yankee institution as a player and broadcaster for 40 years, had been experiencing headaches and a loss of energy in recent days and, after an MRI on Christmas Eve, the tumor was discovered. It was then decided that he would seek treatment at the MD Anderson Hospital in Houston, one of the foremost cancer facilities in the country."

I liked Bobby as a player, but I love Bobby the broadcaster. He's the Anti-McCarver, especially when a game gets out of hand and he and Michael Kay start getting goofy. There were times when you could practically see Kitty thinking "WTF?"

And when the wire him with a mic during Old Timers' games is some of the funniest stuff, evah.
MURCERIZED!
box seats suck!

A case of natural selection

JIM RICE BELONGS...

If there's any justice, he will be elected along with Cal Ripken Jr. and Tony Gwynn, and Mark McGwire will not.

He did it the right way. McGwire is suspected of taking performance-enhancing drugs. Until McGwire's name is cleared, if it ever will be, he will not receive the support of voters who would rather wait until there's evidence one way or the other.

"So do you think you'll get inducted this time?" Rice was asked after returning to Boston from his other home in South Carolina.

"I don't know the answer to that," he said. "I don't understand the voters sometimes. If you have the numbers to get in, if they compare to other people you've already put in, if the numbers are there, then why aren't you in? Why is Bert Blyleven not in with all of those wins and all of those strikeouts? Why is Lee Smith not in? Goose Gossage? Doesn't he have the numbers to get in? If the numbers are there, then why not? Why are so many people excluded? I never understood it."

Like the DBG Cares

My Way News - Yankees Hit With $26 Million Luxury Tax
Feh. Big whoop. Wall Street pays more for their seats.

Failed DBG Rehab Flaps Dumb Gumbs

George gave you a redemption ticket and you blew it. You're now (you hope) back to being a Mutt schmuck, so keep your mouth shut:
Strawberry: Jeter must 'embrace' A-Rod

Strawberry, a former Yankees and Mets star, spoke after a news conference to announce that Yankees special adviser Ray Negron's book "The Boy of Steel" will be made into a movie. The book tells the story of a cancer patient who became a Yankees bat boy for a day.

...snip...

Rodriguez was booed by fans at times last season, and Strawberry said A-Rod has been treated like "an outsider."

"He's a sensitive guy," Strawberry said. "He's only played in Seattle and Texas. It's not New York. It's a big difference. You don't get booed in Texas. You don't get booed in Seattle when you play there."

Jeter, the Yankees' captain, has been cool toward A-Rod since a 2001 Esquire article.

"Jeter's been blessed with great talent around him," Rodriguez was quoted as saying in the magazine. "He's never had to lead. He can just go and play and have fun. And he hits second -- that's totally different than third and fourth in a lineup. You go into New York, you wanna stop Bernie [Williams] and [Paul] O'Neill. You never say, 'Don't let Derek beat you.' He's never your concern."

Yeah, right, A-Hole... run that shit past Red Sox Nation, where your nickname is "Slappy" and they Photoshopped you wearing a handbag. You never even thought about earning a WS ring till you signed with Jeter's team.

Strawberry was a player development instructor for the Yankees before resigning in February 2004. He shifted to the Mets as a spring training instructor in 2005 and plans on being with them next year.

Resigning? You got told to blow because everyone realized you were only qualified to "develop" talent worthy of the NBA. Willie felt sorry and gave you a rebound paycheck, and you fucked that one up, too.

Crotch Kick Delivered

United Press International - Judith Regan out at HarperCollins

He didn't fire her till she messed with The MICK.

Desperately Courting a Kick in the Crotch

Look, no one is ever gonna accuse Mickey Mantle of being a saint, but this is definitely stepping over a line....

In this town, you fuck with Number Seven at personal peril, bitch.

New York Daily News - Shameful new book pimps Mick

The woman who crassly championed O.J. Simpson's kill-and-tell book is now pushing another blasphemous tale - and this time Judith Regan is taking on one of New York's sacred heroes.

The memory of Mickey Mantle will be sullied by ReganBooks in a "biographical novel" that has the Mick recounting an imagined past replete with pornographic passages and foul jokes.

Author Peter Golenbock admits that much of "7: The Mickey Mantle Novel" - including a steamy scene where Mantle beds Marilyn Monroe behind Joe DiMaggio's back - are based on "not documentable" stories.

"not documentable"... why not just say "I made this shit up"?

Golenbock, who co-wrote Johnny Damon's autobiography [CleanedUp Caveman wrote an autobiography? Why?] and "The Bronx Zoo" with former Yankee reliever Sparky Lyle, makes his reasons for writing this book clear in the prologue, where he imagines himself talking with Mantle.

"Maybe this is the book that will make me rich," he writes. "I'll publish the raunchiest book about you, and my guess is it'll be a smash because no one has ever written a book like this before."

Well, at least the fucker is honest about it. That Murdoch money won't stop him from getting the everliving shit kicked out of him once his face gets recognized around town, though.

You don't tug on Superman's cape;
you don't spit into the wind;
you don't pull the mask off the ol' Lone Ranger
and you sure as shit don't mess with The Mick!

Someone Go Kiss Michele's Ass

I'm too tired to fake that kind of kiss-ass crap....

LeatherPenguin � I Should Not Be Allowed Anywhere Near a Deck When I’m Drunk

This Just In...

ESPN.com - Source: Pettitte returns to Yankees with one-year deal

Daily News, too.

It's a done deal.

Sweet Jesus, Help Me

Pettite? I could live with Benedict Andy coming back (as long as Connor gets his head handed to his fat ass--IN PUBLIC!), but I don't think I can handle "The Return of th Rocket..."

Beyond Igawa, Yankees Consider a Few Others - New York Times

AL MVP

Morneau beats Jeter for the AL MVP! Jeter is denied additional 2006 paperweight for his office.... In other news, scientists predict a 287% increase in whining over the tri-state area.

Henry and Epstein Flip Their Wigs

Well, I guess the "Yankees throw the most money around" meme gets put in the trash can from here on out, since it seems they finished a very distant third in this particular chase:

For $51m, Sox get go-ahead on Matsuzaka - The Boston Globe

$51.1 million, just to talk to the guy? Which means talking to frackin' Boras?

So figure when it's all said and done, signing this one Japanese pitcher, who everyone says looks like the real deal, but he earned that rep playing against who, exactly? Guys mostly sitting somewhere between double and triple "A" status (with maybe a handful of major league level batters scattered about the league)--is going to cost the Sox something north of 90 million bucks!

For ONE guy, who'll be under contract for somewhere between three to five years.

In his most insane moments (RhoidBoy) Darth Boss George at least was betting on a better track record than a hot shot minor league career. The only time he ever went out on a limb remotely like this was... that Fat Pussy Toad.

Baby Bombers: Meet the New Bosses

I went to the Staten Island Yankees event yesterday at the St. George Theatre, expecting to hear all sorts of ra-ra crap and promises for bigger and better whatever. The problem with the team was never on the field, it was always in their office. Whether I re-up for season tickets was gonna be decided by what I heard at this dog and pony show. I was fed up with laying out the dough and sitting in half-filled stands, and basically being ignored for being hard core enough to cough up those bucks.

The previous management couldn't market ice cubes in the frickin' Sahara. Their promotions were pathetic. The Big Team finally bought their asses out, and brought in "the pros from Dover," Mandalay Baseball Properties, an outfit that runs minor league operations across the country and who--more importantly--are part of a Hollywood outfit, Mandalay Entertainment Group, which knows a thing or three about how to sell their products for public consumption.

The "show" opened badly, with Guy Molinari acting as MC, which immediately pissed me off. I liked Guy well enough when he was a politician, but I cannot stand seeing Guy's name or face anymore. He's making huge bank trading off his name these days--like whoring for the NASCAR racetrack proposal--and besides, where the hell had he been before the Big Team took the reins? He helped his paisan Rudy Guliani get the money to build the ballpark, and then didn't do damn near anything to help fill the joint's seats.

Whatever. After all the shucking and jiving was done, I'd decided to buy another pair of seats because, finally, they were joining the Baby Bombers to the boys in the Bronx, for those willing to take the season ticket plunge:

• Priority for Yankees playoff tickets: SI Yankees ticket holders will have priority to purchase New York Yankees playoff tickets before they become available to the public.

• New York Yankees premium game priority: SI Yankees ticket holders will have an opportunity to buy tickets to games against the Red Sox, Mets and other premium games before the general public.

• Old Timers' Game: While the Old Timers' Game in the Bronx has always been a big hit, the fans in Staten Island will be treated to their own version of the event. A second Old Timers' Game will be played in Staten Island, with season-ticket holders receiving exclusive tickets to the game. There will also be autograph sessions for ticket holders.

• Exclusive gifts: The Staten Island Yankees will choose the best giveaway the Bombers have to offer in 2007 and give it to their season-ticket holders, who will receive one gift for every ticket they purchase. Ticket holders will also receive one New York Yankees cap for each of their tickets.

THE BIGGIE! • A day at Yankee Stadium:

Staten Island ticket holders will be invited to attend a Yankees game in the Bronx. The fans will be allowed into the ballpark an hour before it opens to the public, where they can watch batting practice, take a tour of Monument Park and attend an exclusive meeting with Cashman.

If these kind of perks don't draw more true Yankee fans on Staten Island to take the minor league plunge, I don't know what will.

Depending on the Yankee position in the AL East standings, and my subsequent mood on that day at the Stadium, I very well may have my Baby Bomber tickets revoked if I'm allowed close enough to Cashman to kick the little bastard in the balls.

More:
Yankees.Com coverage
The Retreat's typical half-assed writeup


Hey, Jay? I was one of those "hard cases," you mentioned... that crap, along with calling Mrs. Rosemary a freakin' "corporate" entity... I gotta say, if you're gonna do snark, hire me first! No member of the Fingerboard Follies has enough control of the language to pull it off. Not you, skippy, who would put Mike Siani in the football hall found in Canton (based on all your sucking up); you Fingerboard fuckwits make the NY Times look like an open air market of ideas.

"Luke-Warm" Hearted Yanks

It seems that in the wake of the death of would be pilot Corey Lidle, the Yanks proceed with plans to hawk plane flying Santa Claus Yankees! Yay! So is it valvoline that runs throught the cold corporate Yankee heart?

Oh Christ, Not Again

ESPN.com - MLB - Lidle dies as plane crashes into Manhattan high-rise:

"A small plane piloted by New York Yankees pitcher Cory Lidle crashed into a 50-story condominium tower Wednesday on Manhattan's Upper East Side, killing at least four people, authorities said.

Lidle died in the crash."

NYY's Storied Franchise

I stumbled across an interesting article about the founding of the world's greatest sports franchise.... one word that comes to mind - fitting.

Buckle Up! It's Gonna Be a Bumpy Winter

And the madness has already begun. First, the Daily News came out with "sources" claiming Torre was toast; that Darth Boss George wanted him gone and planned to bring back (a la Billy Martin) Lou Pinella, for Sweet Lou's third go-round managing the Yanks.

That particular move made no sense to me, so I considered it highly possible. After all, we're taking about the Bronx Zoo here; sense is quite often an alien concept to this organization (see Johnson, Big Unit Asshole and Pavano, Brittle and Stupid to Boot and... well, pick your fave; there's plenty more examples of crazy moves).

Anyhoo, this morning has the NY Post bannering Joe Won't Go!, claiming they have learned from their own set of "sources" that after mucho soul searching and consultations with his "Inner Circle" and others, including GM Brian Cashman, that Joe won't be going anywhere... yet. There's a presser scheduled for one this afternoon, where this matter will finally be officially put to rest.

For the unitiated, "Inner Circle" roughly translates to The Tampa Mafia, the Yanks' executive suite group of backstabbing bastards housed in the Yankees' Legends Field complex down Florida way. Chief Mafiosi is a clown named Connor, a so-called "pitching guru" who, as far as I can tell, hasn't got anyone he can tout as an example of his "brilliance" at developing (I saw Wang when he played NY/Penn single-A rookie ball for the Baby Bombers here on Staten Island; Connor had nothing to do with that kid. One look and you knew he had the goods fresh off the Taiwan flight) or rehabbing problem pitchers (again, see Pavano, and a couple of others... oh, and your most recent, sage "guru" move, deciding to dump El Duque... that really worked out well, didn't it, you fat hoary-assed fuck!)

Meet The New Boss!
I think ALL these "sources" are members of two factions that are going to have a war before any moves are made this winter, and Torre's status was the opening battle. It's the old guard Tampa Mafia on one side, and DBG's heir apparent, Yankee general partner (and DBG son-in-law) Steve Swindal and his guys on the other side. Swindal is tight with the New York guys, like Torre, Cash, and "Stick" Michael. After last season's playoff implosion, Cashman and Torre demanded the mobsters stop their meddling and backstabbing bullshit--many times through the press, especially Lupica and the other Daily News hacks. Cashman was ready to walk if he didn't get that concession.

DBG agreed, and I have to believe that decision, along with not hanging Torre after the team's second consecutive first round meltdown, was Swindal's doing. Steinbrenner really ain't Darth Boss George anymore. If he was, Torre's ass would have been fired last year. I think the planting of the "Torre's getting canned" story was the Tamp Mafia pushing to regain their juice in the organization, and Swindal smacked them into the gutter the minute he got wind of their latest parlay. While they once had a maddening hold on DBG's ear, Swindal has something way more hardcore when it comes to George: Steinbrenner's daughter is wearing the man's ring. He is family, and DBG has already decided to pass Swindal the crown.

As Drudgiepoo says: Developing....

Let’s Take A Deep Breath

This is a very good line-up; it should not be broken up because of a very small sample in which it underperformed. A bigger problem might be the underlying reason why they didn’t even seem like they showed up in Detroit, but that may have more to do with the manager, and I’ll get back to Mr. Torre in a minute. As I was saying, this team doesn’t need a major overhaul. Sheffield’s option should be picked up to play first base. Who’s better and available? Even ARod should be retained unless he can be traded for young front of the rotation starting pitching. Again, who’s better and available? That would set the lineup as Jeter (he should lead-off), Damon, Abreu, Giambi, Sheffield, ARod, Matsui, Posada, Cano, or some variation thereof. Recent small sample failure notwithstanding, that is a very good lineup and there is no reason that all of them shouldn’t be back for another run.

As for the bench, why not bring back Bernie and Wilson. Bernie played very well this year, especially when he had plenty of rest. Assuming the injury problems that were suffered this year do not recur, he would have enough rest and should be just fine as an elder-statesman reserve, provided he’s willing to play for a fairly small contract. Wilson underperformed this year as a Yankee, but he is a good first baseman, certainly good enough to be a backup and would be a strength as a bench player. The biggest problem next year would be getting Melky the at-bats he needs to continue to develop, but with rotation of the outfield players with each getting rest and Melky filling in at all three positions, he should be able to get sufficient at-bats and keep the other players fresh as well. Now that Matsui’s streak is over, there is no reason he shouldn’t be rested from time to time just like anyone else.

The pitching staff is certainly the weak link on this team. Even that though is not very far away from being a strength. All that is needed is to sign Zito as the number one starter. Push everyone else back one spot and this becomes a very good rotation. The other moves would be to sign Mussina, buy out Wright, let Lidle go and expect Hughes to be called up during the year. Imagine this pitching rotation: Zito, Mussina, Wang, Hughes, Unit (we’re probably stuck with him so we might as well accept it, but he’s not so horrible as a fifth starter during the regular season and should he fail to return to form could be left off the post season roster). Until Hughes is ready, Karstens or Rasner could fill in, and, who knows, Pavano may eventually reappear. The bottom line is that it really doesn’t matter who is the fourth or fifth starter in the rotation during the regular season, the offense will carry the team to a division title. The bullpen could stand to be bolstered a little, but it’s not all that far off either, especially if the starters could provide just a little more length, which should occur with Zito added and Hughes called up.

As for the manager, I think it’s time for him to go and I hope Mr. Torre step’s down voluntarily. After his eleven years in New York, he is widely believed to be a great manager, which is in stark contrast to his reputation coming in. I ask you though is that change to his reputation really warranted or is he actually a reason why this team, with all of the talent that has put on this uniform over the last decade plus, only won four times for him. Should he be praised for the four or castigated? Who knows, but he has certainly never been much of an in-game strategist. His major strength was always his reputed skill in managing the personalities of his star players, but after the team entirely failed to show up at all in Detroit this weekend the question is where was Torre’s renowned player management - I’m not saying they would have won either of those games, but they could at least have shown up to play. If Torre can’t get them fired up to play in the postseason, then there is no reason for him to remain as manager. If he steps down gracefully, we can all remember his time as manager fondly, but step down he should or he should be fired.

As for who should come next, I, for one, hope it’s another Joe. I seem to remember that it was Girardi in the pre-game show of Schilling’s “sock” game who suggested that the Yankees should bunt early and often to make Schilling come off the mound. During the game though, I don’t remember a single bunt and that from our current manager who loves and misuses the bunt so often I can’t even remember all of the times I’ve wanted to throw something at the television during games. Maybe slightly underhanded, but at least it suggests that he would try to obtain every advantage he could. It’s true that Girardi is certainly not a completely tested commodity yet, but he did a great job in Florida this year, and I’d love to see what he can do with the Yankees.

Suckers

BIG FAT FUCKING NOTICE

SHOW'S OVER. GO SPIT AT THE RANGERS.

here's a little Scooter:


THIS SEASON IS OVER


THIS SONG IS OVER....

Burnt Offerings: Round One is The Final Round

Why wait? I demanded annihilation; instead, they forgot how to hit after Damon's rip and then they choked on Kenny Rodgers' ropes.

Everything post-Paulie's goodbye and RhoidBoy being signed, down to saved NY Post and Daily News front and back pages that had been framed and populating my home office's walls; all the various bric-a-brac crap and everything else dating to when everything went totally wrong, are now ashes.

Including those frames, because they can never be used again for fear they carry the playoff losers cooties.

Feh. Wife wants to lock me up.

Retire You BIG Piece of Shit

If that fucking Unit has any honor he will retire after that.

Game three two years in a row.

Disgusting!

Burnt Offerings: Round One

I just knew I was gonna torch him first:

0-4; 3 Ks; loaded bases in the first and can't manage to drive in ONE?

DIAF, A-HOLE

Everything with his face or name has been excised via influenced combustion. After the Mutts won, I went back in the yard and pissed on the ashes.

World Series 2007

Texas Rangers just clinched.

NO PRISONERS!

SI.com - MLB - Jeter's 5-for-5 night leads Yankees past Tigers:

"'We can throw up runs as fast as anyone," said Damon, who had two of New York's 14 hits.

The Darth NO! A-Hole Can Bite Me Brigade

Staten Island Can Always Stomp


Thunders forever
David Jo owes me dough.

An Encouraging Sign?

It won't really show up in the box score (and he was just a little late joining the party in the third), but ARod hit the ball well tonight. Let's hope he keeps it up, balls hit like that are going to find holes.

WOW!

Intangibles? Who the hell needs intangibles?

This guy is the best there is.

Lucky Start

We were lucky to get 6 2/3 from Wang with only 3 runs given up. Too many fly balls, only 11 ground ball outs.

Let's hope the bullpen can seal the deal, despite Myers' failure.

No Excuses; NO PRISONERS!

With Detroit's pitchers having to deal with this lefty/righty nightmare of an All Star batting order:
Damon
Jeter
Abreu
Sheffield
RhoidBoy
A-Hole
Matsui
Posada
Cano

My goddamned dog should be able to go out on the mound as a third starter and be expected to win. Anything other than total annhiliation of the Tigers, followed by the bludgeoning of any other crew--especially the team from Queens--that stands in the way of another Broadway parade will be considered unacceptable.

If you bastards fuck this up it will cause every bit of Yankee ephemera in my possession (not bearing the name, number or likeness of Thurman Munson, Mickey Mantle, Donnie Baseball and Paul O'Neill) to be tossed in my backyard pit and put to the flame.

You hear me? Lately I've only burned the flag I've flown from Opening Day until you were eliminated; this year, I'll torch the whole damn collection, from tee shirts to caps to souvenir bats.