What Will it Take to Make Farnsworth Go Away?

Seriously, this guy is where wins go to play Russian roulette.

Lovin' 9-1 like a fat kid loves cake

Even with the so-called pitching woes we've had this team has got my balls as big as church bells.

The only thing I'm worried about is this: Who goes to the minors when Mikey comes back?

Jed Don't-Call-Me-Clampett Lowrie is playing like Tacoby Bellsbury did when he came up last year, Taco is playing like he belongs and yet Coco deserves everyday playing time. What to do you ask? Here's my take: trade Coco now while he's playing great for a GOOD lefty-outta-the pen.

Funny how Julio Lugo has all of a sudden caught fire with Lowrie's call up...

Dear Muttsies,

There is a REASON no one's given a fuck about your toilet bowl park since the Beatles hit town:
Papal visit adds to Cathedral's legend

"I have never seen Yankee Stadium so beautiful, and I have season tickets," Philip Giordano, 49, a tax attorney from Greenwich, Conn., told The Associated Press. "It sure beats sitting in my local church."

Yo, Pete? That IS my church, you dumb Greenwich fuck. You go say ten 'Hail Mary' and a dozen 'Our Fathers' and then shove a knife in your ribs, okay?

Learn It; Live It

MANNY SOX IT TO BOMBERS, AGAIN - New York Post:

"The Yankees should give Manny Ramirez the finger. Actually, four of them, every time he steps into the batter's box."

I swear, after the first homer--and what happened previously--Girardi needed to treat Manny like many NL managers (whose tactics seem comfy to Joe in other respects) treated Barry "King Rhoid" Bonds, and just refuse to allow him a chance to do any damage.

It was bloody obvious Manny has been feasting on your pitchers, Girardi; he should have been given a free pass the second time he came to the plate.

You're lucky you won't be dealing with him again until the first week of July. Here's hoping the lesson will have sunken in by then.

You Will HEED THE BLEACHERS!

Well, that didn't take long: The Official Site of The New York Yankees: News: Hawkins gives up No. 21 for No. 22:

"Hawkins wore No. 22 with the Yankees during Spring Training, but switched to No. 21 when infielder Morgan Ensberg decided he no longer wanted to wear it. Ensberg was randomly assigned the number upon reporting to camp as a non-roster invitee and later revealed that he received numerous vulgar comments from Yankees fans during the Grapefruit League campaign.

Hawkins eagerly accepted No. 21 as a tribute to Hall of Famer Roberto Clemente but quickly learned that a pinstriped No. 21 has other meanings for Yankees fans. Unaware he was donning a number that had not been worn since O'Neill retired following the 2001 World Series, Hawkins was booed when introduced on Opening Day at Yankee Stadium. Fans chanted 'Paul O'Neill' during one of his appearances in the Bronx.

According to CBSSports.com, Hawkins made the decision after discussions with Derek Jeter, Mariano Rivera and other Yankees veterans, who told Hawkins that the number is not worth the headache it's causing.

'I figure if it's important enough for Jeter and Mariano and some other veterans to ask me about it, it's not worth it to keep wearing the number,' Hawkins told the Web site."

I too was pissed when I heard he'd be wearing Paulie's number, and the fact he took it after Ensberg caught all sorts of shit during Spring Training should have given him fair warning that, despite his "honoring Roberto Clemente" reasoning, the same crap was gonna come raining down on him.

That said, I think the real blame for this fiasco falls directly on the Yankees, not Hawkins. When they saw the reaction Ensberg received they should have put the number on the shelf; unofficially retire the number until they decide when they are gonna be giving Paul O'Neill his due. He retired after 2001; he's made an Old Timers Day appearance; when the fuck are those assholes gonna give us "Paulie Day" and retire the number for real?

They gotta know--as does Jeter, Mo, and whoever else told Hawkins to switch--that we will NEVER accept anyone else wearing that number. Darth Boss George called him "the ultimate warrior." He was the heart and soul of the team in the time he wore Pinstripes once Donny Baseball was gone. Even if you waited ten more years, we'd still give anyone daring to wear "21" all the vitriol we could muster.

There are only two Yankee jerseys hanging in my closet; among the various numbered tee shirts in the house, only two numbers will ever be worn by me.

They belong to "Oh Captain My Captain" and Paul O'Neill.

First Nail In The Coffin?

Why-oh-why did Lil' Joe pitch to Man-Ram with 1st open?

Not that I'm complaining...

Oh, I've waited for so long...

It's ON! CINCHOUSE has been warned that items in the man cave may (read: WILL) go flying tonight.

The Power of FARK!

FARK.com: (3522165) Good news: Fark successfully Rickrolls the Mets, puts Astley song atop poll; Bad news: Mets let you down, run around, desert you, opt for in-stadium runoff instead

This can't be a good omen...

3 continents in 19 days and then this happens?

7 games into the season and we're sweeping the cellar already. Hmmm...me thinks that hawk needs to go.

Beat da Mutts, Beat da Mutts

step right up and mess with those Schmucks!
FARK.com: (3512746) Rarely does one get the chance to Rickroll a sports team for an entire year, but today is your lucky day

Jeter Gets A Big Sloppy Lewinskey

this guy is an absolute asshole:

The case for a plaque is that, so far he isn't a jaw-dropping slugger, league batting champion, record setter or even a one-time Most Valuable Player. Is he a bigger deal than Yogi and Whitey?

The case for a monument so far is about a hundred-fold, such as he is one of the great clutch players ever, has four rings, is very likely to reach 3,000 hits, has three Gold Gloves and breezily handles the responsibility of being an icon on the most pressurized team in the non-stop information age.

I vote for the monument.

I vote this guy is the stupidest git walking the planet. If you follow his tortuous logic, I could make a damn good case that all the seats behind the plate at the new joint should be declared "Thurmanville," but then I'd get in a bitchfest with people insisting that honor should go to Yogi... or PC idiots saying the nod should go to Ellie.

What he should be bitching about is Paulie's number being put back in the mix. THAT is seriously bullshit.

Jeter has earned monument at new Yankee Stadium -- Newsday.com

And So It Begins…

The flag is flying above my front door.

The local Mutt fans have been slurred.

WE HAVE NO TRUST-WORTHY STARTING PITCHING.

It's gonna be a blast!

Let's Go!

Excitement

This is the first time in years that the season begins with mystery and hope. And it is not just the usual hope (and expectation) for a record breaking regular season record and a dominating World Series victory. This year is it is hope, and hope is all it is, for a great year now, yes, but also for future domination. Future domination with homegrown talent, which for some reason (despite the fact that I have never met, and never expect to, any of the players, homegrown or otherwise) makes it all the more sweet. March 31st can't arrive soon enough.

Just This Once....

LeatherPenguin Says "Sox Stand Up!"

Why Are They Wearing Blue?

Jesus Christ on a Pogo Stick! Red Sox? Wearing blue?

Tomorrow is Gonna Be Epic

Saint Patrick's Day + Yanks/Sox ST game + TC at home refusing to even make believe he's gonna do any work = The 2008 Season's first full blown baseball binge-drinking incident.

So today, I have to decide: "How much do I like my current TV?"

Lord, I Love Minor League Ball

Music announce plans for Eliot Spitzer night

Hey, Alex! You know any good clubs north of the border?

"Ya know, Spitzy old boy, I sure do!"

Now, the Giants I could take, but....

...the frickin' RANGERS???

"Hey, I gotta GREAT idea! Whydoncha close da' house wit da' Isles and da' Rangers!"

BANG!

Shut the FUCK UP! Close the house WITH FUCKING BASEBALL!!!!

TC: BTW, looking at the 25th/26th of Aug for a Queens/Bronx send off (SOX IN TOWN BITCH!)

Posted for El Jefe

Mugger: ROGER CLEMENCY

Why is Pettite Getting a Total Pass?

The way that the radio guys, NY Post and Daily News sportswriters--especially that gutless twirp Lupica, who doesn't allow comments on his near-daily attacks on Clemens--have pretty much all decided that the Rocket is already convicted, it's unsurprising that I had to go to the Village Voice find a clear headed examination about what really is going on in this circus sideshow:

When the Mitchell Report revealed that McNamee said he injected Pettitte with HGH in 2002, Pettitte was reviled as a cheat and a liar. In a short time, he was transformed into a sympathetic figure (despite withholding information on further HGH use) for one reason: He was the tool that could be used to get Roger Clemens.

Softballs for Pettitte; Beanballs for Clemens by Allen Barra

Barra lays out what seems to be the biggest reason everyone has decided that Rocket is guilty: Pettite's testimony. But Andy's testimony ain't necessarily the smoking gun everyone seems to believe it is:

That Pettitte would not appear as a witness at the February 13 public hearing wasn't known until just before midnight on Monday, February 11. The next morning, most headlines read like ESPN.com's "Pettitte's Affidavit Supports McNamee's Version of Events." This, it seemed, was damning—irrefutable proof that Clemens had lied in his own deposition to the committee (not to mention to Mike Wallace on 60 Minutes). It was speculated that the reason that Pettitte would not be appearing in person was that he didn't want to hurt and embarrass his close friend and former teammate—an explanation highly favorable to Mitchell and Waxman, as well as to Pettitte's reputation.

Another version of Pettitte's reasons to skip the hearing appeared in numerous stories that also appeared on February 12: As ESPN's T.J. Quinn reported, sources had told him that "Pettitte was not a good witness when he appeared before Congressional lawyers during sworn deposition . . . . Pettitte often contradicted himself, so the committee agreed to his request not to appear before the committee." If that's true, one must wonder if Waxman wasn't relieved that Pettitte wouldn't be grilled in person about the vague and often contradictory statements in his deposition. If so, Roger Clemens, whether innocent or guilty, was denied the fundamental right of facing his accuser.

Predictably enough, those local sportswriters who have long since declared Clemens guilty haven't gone back to Pettitte's deposition, though it is now on the public record. If they did, they might agree with Will Carroll of Baseball Prospectus, who, in a thoughtful February 14 piece on the BP website, found that "Pettitte's testimony is hardly the slam-dunk takedown of Clemens that it was made out to be. Pettitte, in many places, actually corroborates Clemens's version. . . . What is interesting is that the differences between Pettitte's statement and Clemens's statement are so easily reconciled."

go read the whole thing.

Could it be?

YES! Spring IS here finally!
And not too soon, I might add!

Say, "Cheese!", Asshole!

Oh, my, what a web we weave! Isn't that right Texas Con Man?

If this is true you'd better come clean (LMAO!) and soon.

But then again, you're not worried about the Hall, are ya' now?

Screw the Clemens Inquisition

Today is the day The Winter of Our Discontent Ends

This Hearing is a Farce

I've been watching the Clemens Hearing Inquisition, and it has devolved from an absolute waste of time and taxpayer dollars to a televiosion game show: Who's the Liar?"

So far, MacNamee seems to be pulling ahead; one of the Inquisitors read through a list of quotes MacNamee'd given to various newspapers and other media outlets, stopping after each and asking, "was that the truth?"

MacNamee: "No sir."

After about the eighth question the guy says, "Y'know, I'm not even going to bother with the rest of this list," and said, "This is basically a case of who we are supposed to believe, and I have to say, I have no reason to believe you."

rambling liveblogging here.

Mrs. Mattingly is a Tweaky Freak?

No wonder Donnie Baseball didn't get the Yankee job.

Wait a Goddamn Minute, Knobby

Someone Explain This For Me

Someone Remind Me...

Have I lifted the fatwa from Farnsworth's shoulders?

Because all this Joba in the bullpen? stuff is really starting to tick me off, and pitchers & catchers hasn't even started.

FUCK THIS "INNINGS PITCHED/PROTECT THE KID" SHIT!

If you don't sign someone--anyone, you have no choice when it comes to the rotation.

Joba's in it.

Where have you gone....

Orenthal James....

Say it ain't so, Rocket!

Oh, but it is so. Supreme Douchebag Clemens has hired an All-Star roster of fucktards.

Other than Ann Richards I thought that EVERYONE from Texas was 'Red' but I guess that's not the case when you hire someone from BILL FUCKING CLINTON'S legal team...

HEY, JEFE?

While getting ready for Pitcher & Catchers, I was reading through the old posts at the DBGB.

I was stunned: we're idiots. Having fun, but still....

And what the hell happened to Ric?
Dive into the Well of Whacko

The House That Darth Boss George Bought

The Team from Queens will play in a joint named after a bank that might not exist by the time it opens.

DBG would never commit such heresy.

Really, Muttsies, you should have had some class and stuck with honoring Bill Shea, who was one of the most important guys in modern NY sports. If not for him, your club (and the NY Islanders) would never have been born.

Too Good to Not Swipe

FARK.com: (3325959) Top 30 lucky, I mean brilliantly, timed sports photos

Judging by the curvature of the wall, methinks this was Bleacher Creatures' territory, which would explain it:

On the Loose in the Coop!

Rich "Goose" Gossage became only the fifth relief pitcher elected to the Hall of Fame, earning baseball's highest honor Tuesday on his ninth try on the ballot.

Known for his overpowering fastball, fiery temperament and bushy mustache, the Goose received 466 of 543 votes (85.8 percent) from 10-year members of the Baseball Writers' Association of America.

ESPN - Gossage voted into baseball Hall; Rice just misses - MLB

The Definition of "Douchebag"

Ex-minor leaguer could sue MLB - Yahoo! Sports:

"Ex-St. Louis Cardinals farmhand Rich Hartmann told the New York Daily News he is considering filing the lawsuit, and has support from former teammates.

'Was I cheated of my dreams of a big-league career?' Hartmann said in Sunday's Daily News. 'I don't know. But I do know there were thousands of guys who were right on the doorstep between 1990 and 2005 and they were cheated because they didn't use steroids.'"

Hey, Hartmann? You couldn't break out of single A in the Cardinals' system back then... when the big team was pretty damn shitty.

You really think some other guy taking 'roids was your problem?

My Heart Says "Yes"; Brain? "Not So Fast"

ESPN - Debate: Is Tim Raines a Hall of Famer? - MLB

I really don't know, if I had to pull the trigger, cast a ballot, whether I could vote against him, but there's a thing in my head screaming, "GOD-DAMN-NAMBIT! REALLY GOOD IS NOT THE RULE. THEN WE GOTTA RE-LOOK DONNIE AND THIRMAN."

You Bet Your God Damn Ass He Is!

ESPN - Debate: Is Goose Gossage a Hall of Famer?

None of this "three outs" to earn a save shit. Most of the time Goose had to shut the door for three frickin' innings.

An Errant Thought

With what number will Manager Little Joe go?

"25"?

PLEEEZE.
"Okay, RoidBoy, hand the fucking number over."

And England's Dreaming....

NO FUTURE.
this is your Sheffield Steel:


Note the little Red Sox Nation, finger waving tyke towards the middle. He's gonna grow to beat the shit out of Manchester United's entire fan base, and then work his way north.

Or just rule Southie like Curley never could.

I LOVE that kid.

Hot Air » Blog Archive » British Muslim woman: I need a new hymen ASAP or they’ll kill me

What Shill Said

Talking to Mitchell Not Worth It for Schilling - Bats - Baseball - New York Times Blog:

I worry that not every name in the report is not a user, but how do we know which ones outside of the players who had specific evidence and testimony did it?” Schilling asked. “I mean Brian Roberts’s name was included, and I think people everywhere assume that, since he’s on the ‘list’ of names ESPN presented, he’s one of the guilty ones? If you read the report, his name was included because Larry Bigbie told the Mitchell investigators that Brian mentioned to him that he’d tried it. Is that right? I don’t think it is.

Still Digesting "The Mitchell Report"

but I find it lacking:
LeatherPenguin: Mitchell Report is (Fatally?) Flawed

Integrity of the game

I fully believe that the report on MLB substance abuse was a way for Used Car Bud to say, “Let’s let bygones be bygones and go forward.” Well, Buddy-boy, I say that’s too little and too late. You’re worried about the integrity of the game, huh? Then where were you in ’98 when your ascendancy was crowned with your being named Commish? You turned your back on the game. It was going on right in front of you and you chose not to act. Well, that was until congress got involved.

If you’re worried about the integrity of the game then I say this: resign. The Mitchell report was done to put the steroid era behind us. With that you should go to. As my Navy buddies always tell me, “The captain goes down with the ship.” Well, Bud-a-roo, you should go off into the deep blue sea powered by that report.

“But wait, El Jefe, who should be the next Commish?”

Glad ya’ asked ‘cause here’s two proposals: an elected commissioner by BOTH the players and the owners and one selected by fans by voting online

For the player/owner proposal:
1. Each team’s owner gets a vote
2. Each team’s player rep gets a vote

The candidates could be volunteers or chosen a la jury selection. Each side has ‘x’ number of potentials and each can have a number of ‘challenges’.

For the fan voting proposal:
1. Register as a candidate with your resume and statement of work on MLB.com
2. Fans register to vote and can only vote once

Yeah, there’s holes in each but just having the owners select the commish NEVER has the best interests of the game at heart OR mind.

A-Hole Throws Boras Under a Bus

The LoHud Yankees Blog | A-Rod: “It was a huge debacle”

I'm Shocked, SHOCKED! I Tell You!

ESPN - Source says information on Clemens will be in Mitchell's report - MLB

Giamroido, Clemens, Pettite, and....

Also, The Bergen (N.J.) Record, citing a baseball industry official, says "several" prominent Yankees will be named in the Mitchell report. The paper said the source spoke to a third party who had seen the final report.

"It's going to be a rough day in the Bronx," the paper quoted the source as saying.

I can't wait to see who is on the list; with all this third-party hearsay leaking out, it is gonna really be interesting to see if Mitchell's report actually offers harder evidence than just "according to Joe Blow...."

But if there are no Red Sox, Mitchell--a Red Sox director--will get crucified for whitewashing "his" guys while attacking the Evil Empire.

What if I Lend You a Gun?

Then will you fuck off and die?
Pavano Weighing His Options -- Courant.com

Sayonara, God-Zirra?

MATSUI MAY 'WAIVE' BYE:

"With Johnny Damon in left and Jason Giambi as the designated hitter, Matsui's playing time would be reduced and could be the reason he wouldn't stand in the way of a trade. In order to approve a trade, the 33-year-old, who is owed $26 million across the next two years, could seek an extension from the Giants."

I've got this niggling thought: could the whole Giant thing be a fakeout? Could the Yanks really be putting a package together featuring Matsui--instead of Melky--and one of the Golden Children (plus farmhands) to snag Yohan?

I have absolutely nothing to base this on, but I cannot believe the Yanks are just walking away from the Santana sweepstakes. I also believe, based on things I've read, that Santana will NOT waive his no-trade unless the trade lands his butt in da Bronx.

Seriously, if you're Yohan, do you want the Green Monster looming over your shoulder for half the season?

Thank God for the YES network...

Otherwise Carl Pavano's $40M minor league contract would be hard to swallow. C'mon! FOUR TIMES the Marlins payroll for a minor leaguer?

I'm Spitting on Their Plaques

The idea that Bowie Kuhn, Dick Williams, and that douchebag O'Malley are in The Hall, and guys like Whitey Herzog, Bert Blyleven, Jim Rice, Goose, Marvin Miller and Billy Martin are not is turning this entire election process into a goddamn joke. Bowie Kuhn was the dirty rotten SOB who was willing to go along with Ford Frick's idea to put an asterisk next to Roger Maris's name and treated Hank Aaron like dirt, fer chrissakes! O'Malley tore Brooklyn's heart out, leaving a stain on that borough's soul that to this day hasn't been washed away. And Dick Williams? You gotta be shitting me! Anyone who thinks he was a better manager than Billy or Whitey is just fucking ignorant.

Tick, tock

Screw, don't do it. Let the fuckin' Sawx have him or wait till next year.
SI.com - MLB - Yankees set Monday deadline for Santana deal

Mitt Romney Fails Math; Exposes RSN Wannabes

Will RSN Revoke His (self-claimed) Membership Card?

Duuude... don't even try playing baseball with Rudy. He'll eat you alive. Saying "Yankees Suck!" earns you nothing.


Seriously, how long did this jagoff write "Resident: MA" in his résumé? This guy lived in Mass for what? A dozen or so years? I do know one thing: Rudy knowswhat it means, back then, to say "1918."

Suzy is Off the Hook

Hawkins and Gage were the only two members of the Baseball Writers Association of America to cast a vote for someone other than A-Rod in the MVP race, and they both went with Ordonez.

"I saw Magglio play every day," Hawkins said. "What I saw was a player having an MVP year. I have no quarrel with anyone who voted for A-Rod. He also had an MVP year. But with the injuries the Tigers had and the effort and performance I saw from Magglio, there's no question he had an MVP year."

Gage uttered much the same belief.

"I went with what I saw," he said. "So many times, you have to vote off the stat sheet. I fully expected A Rod to win. He had a great year. But I saw an MVP year. There were stats to back up the impression that I came away with from the regular season."

A-Hole carried his team through a total pitching meltdown early in the season; your chump got dumped by the Indians.

Classless.

The Ultimate Homers

Sorry, Grandpa...I shoulda known better

So, how much is the Prince of New York going to get away with?



I would've thought he'd have learned something from his Granpa in Chicago...

Is there not a family resemblance?

He is SO Going to Jail

Kiss Cooperstown goodbye, Captain Asterisk.
Federal Grand Jury Indicts Barry Bonds

You have to believe the Feds wouldn't file unless they believe they have a bullet-proof, dead-to-rights case against King Melon Head of Roidersville.

The Smoking Gun is there with the 'E-filing' indictment goodness.

See You Down the Road, Mo

Eat shit and Die In A Fire:
FOX Sports on MSN - MLB - Sources: Rivera wants 4th year in deal:

"The Yankees remain the overwhelming favorite to retain Rivera. No other club is expected to even approach their proposal, much less top it. But Rivera, who turns 38 on Nov. 29, has instructed his agents to shop him, in part because he was angered by Hank Steinbrenner referring to his age in recent comments about the Yankees' offer, a source says. Rivera has specifically mentioned following Joe Torre to the Dodgers, and his agents also are contacting other clubs about his availability. Rivera, sources say, believes he deserves the same length of contract as Yankees catcher Jorge Posada, who is on the verge of re-signing for $52.4 million over four years, and Mets closer Billy Wagner, who received $43 million over four years after the 2005 season."

Really... go fuck a coconut. The third year was free money, and you think you deserve a fourth?

Welcome Back, You Sniveling Prick (Updated)

A-ROD PLEA: TAKE ME BACK PLEASE

Rodriguez made the short trip from Orlando to Tampa yesterday and met with the Steinbrenner family and Yankees officials at Legends Field where, according to Hank Steinbrenner, the soon-to-be-named AL MVP informed the club he wants No. 13 back.

“Alex, at this point, wants to be a Yankee and is willing to make sacrifices," Steinbrenner said. “Apparently he has had a change of heart so we will see. He reached out to us through a third party and it appears he wants to be a Yankee."

The Post's Vacc:

All you hear, relentlessly, is that the fan's voice doesn't matter, that it's ignored, that it's irrelevant in our sporting world.

Mostly, that's true.

Just not this time. Alex Rodriguez heard you. He felt your wrath. He absorbed your scorn. If negotiations with the Yankees head where it appears they're heading - with Rodriguez returning, with the Yankees scoring a major coup against Scott Boras, bringing A-Rod back on their terms - then you are allowed a moment to stand up and take a bow.

Take a bow? My ass! His John Hancock on a contract ain't gonna do nothing to abate the absolute contempt in which we will hold that little shit.

Understand something, A-Hole: we are not merely gonna boo you like you've never heard before; ask Reggie about having to duck coins getting hurled at you on your home field because we, who pay your fucking salary, perceive you to be an absolute douche who only cares about the money. In his case, we threw silver; you get copper, cocksucker. "Pennies from Heaven," bitch. You're gonna have to top last year's start just to make us let up a little bit.

You hear me, Slappy? You have no understanding of what kind of world of shit you are in for if you don't deliver that 27th ring this year. After this clusterfuck you and Boras made us endure, you better pray to God and hope to hell he's listening, because so help me, if there is no World Series flag getting hoisted on Opening Day 2009, in the spanking new House That Darth Boss George Bought, you're gonna need a football team of shrinks to deal with the crap we will heap on your psyche.

OH CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN says:

"Kid? Remember: you buy the ticket, you take the ride.... but Jesus Christ on a crutch, I wouldn't want to be you this winter. You might as well just get it over with and change your name to "Mea Culpa" right now and maybe the Bleacher Creatures will let you live... but not that bitch you call your wife. She's toast."

UPDATE: I said something along these lines either here, or at the other joint:

More than anything, it apparently was the very public and seemingly ironclad dismissal by Hank Steinbrenner after the opt-out that made A-Rod begin to re-think his willingness to let Boras once again dictate the direction his career would take.

"That's why he called me, to ask if Hank was serious about closing the door on him," a second person said yesterday. "From what I gathered, Boras had been telling him not to worry about what Brian Cashman was saying about the opt-out, partly because they knew they had George on their side.

"But then Alex saw the shift in power, with the Steinbrenner sons taking over, and here was Hank saying 'Goodbye, we don't want you if you don't want to be a Yankee.' Those words really messed with his mind because he really did want to be a Yankee."

MEET THE NEW BABY BOSS!
NOT LIKE THE DARTH BOSS!

Everybody, Sing!

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

Crawl, You Bastard

A-Hole Caves

I Can Breathe Again

POSADA'S HEART BACK IN PERFECT PLACE

Because the heart of the team is returning, because Jorge Posada is returning, a four-year, $52 million deal all but done that will likely keep him a Yankee until the end of his career. Posada has spent his entire career elbowing his way into the public consciousness, always overshadowed by bigger names and brassier names.

Yet if you were to take a poll among the 4 million-plus who show up at Yankee Stadium every year, if you extend the vote to the millions of others who claim the Yankees as their primary baseball addiction, you will find a battalion of relieved souls this morning....

Derek Jeter may be the nominal captain of the team. Any number of flashier players have posted all manner of flashier numbers through the years. But it has always been Posada who has represented the greater angels of the Yankees' soul, bringing a daily professionalism to the ballpark that is as evident as facade in centerfield and The Bat out by the parking lot.

Cashman and Baby Boss knew that the team in Queens were going to toss an ungodly amount of money at Jorge, so backing off and offering him what he wanted, a four year deal, was really a no-brainer; they gave a similar deal to Damon, so they also knew there would be absolute hell to pay if they let Jorge get away over--in Yankee terms--chump change. They need the steady hand of Posada to help the Kiddie Korps of pitchers that are the centerpiece of Cashman's rebuilding scheme. And with A-Hole out of the equation, they desperately need Posada's bat on the right hand side of the plate.

So now all that's left is Mo, who I am currently leaning towards telling to go fuck off if he won't take what's already on the table after reading this:

Rivera has been sitting on what is believed to be a three-year, $39 million offer for the past few days. The two sides were still negotiating last night, and the deal could still be tweaked.

Rivera, who turns 38 on Nov. 29, even brought his former manager into the discussion yesterday, telling The Associated Press that he would consider a move to join Joe Torre in Los Angeles if things don't work out with the Yankees.

"The Yankees are my first option," said Rivera, who is in the Dominican Republic. "But if that is not possible, there is Joe with the Dodgers."

Mo, I love ya, but you are just as friggin' delusional as A-Hole and Boras if you believe any other team will offer you a better deal than the Yankees, especially the Dodgers. Saying you'd be willing to go over to Yankees West is the first classless thing I've ever seen you do. You've got, maybe, two years left in that arm, Mariano. It takes you a couple of months just to get your act together... that third year at $13 mill is a goddamn gift.
UPDATE: OH CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN replies:

"Kid? Remember: you buy the ticket, you take the ride.... NOW, what are we gonna do with Jeter? Mark my words, he's gonna be a Reggie without the stick."

What an Absolute Douche

You're gonna need a diplomatic visa to ever again step one fucking foot into Brooklyn, you sellout shitheel.
Torre says A-Rod might join Dodgers - Yahoo! News

Captain Obvious Reports

"We're trying to win, but it takes more than one person. We've had teams that have won and we haven't had numbers like that put up, so you don't necessarily have to have those type of numbers in order to win."

Derek Jeter says Yankees can win without A-Rod

OH CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN replies:

"Kid? Remember: you buy the ticket, you take the ride.... My locker better be ready for me when you guys move into the new digs....

"And that guy Brosius can kick A-Rod's ass."

Rename This Clown "Mouth Full of Dicks"

Jon Heyman: What top free agents should expect to command - Thursday November 8, 2007 11:51AM

Baby Boss: "The Kids Ain't Going..."

Yankees say young pitchers not available - Baseball - MSNBC.com:

It’s pretty obvious which players we’re not going to trade,” the owner’s son said Wednesday, before rattling off the team’s most-prized young pitchers. “Chamberlain, Hughes and even Kennedy. Not for a position player.

People, take note of that final sentence, and then say to yourself, "Hankie has some serious Yohan Santana lust written into that statement."

Sounds like Baby learned something from Daddy Darth: "don't go berserk until you get something good in return."

Best Hot Stove Ever?

Alright, here's my predictions for both the Sox and Skanks:

Sox: Lester, Justin Masterson and No-co for Scott Kazmir

Skanks: Combo of two (Hughes, Kennedy, Chamberlain) and The Melkman for Johan Santana

OR

All three pitchers and Melky for Dontrelle Willes AND Miguel Cabrera


Both the Fish and the Twinkies need a CF. Makes more sense to make the Santana move with the caveat they get 72 hours to negotiate a new contract. Although, 'giving up the farm' to get both the D-train and Cabrera fills needs at pitcher and third.

It's the rivalry that brought us Reggie versus Bob Welch.

"Err, no." We never gave a shit. We knew as God playing witness,

Again, wrong.

It's the rivalry that brought us George Steinbrenner versus The Elevator.

And now, it's back. After all these years.

New York Yankees-Los Angeles Dodgers.

Once again, it's must-see baseball theater.

He's the Captain of the Good Ship "Raving Idiot"

originally posted at my personal Romper Room

considering his Columbia Law pedigree, I really should not be surprised that he's a total maroon, but when he wrote this: By Opting Out, Rodriguez Really Wants In

He put it in terms of uncertainty about the return of much-admired teammates, which sweetens, not sours, relationships. But his behavior makes absolutely no sense unless it was timed to precede the Girardi announcement, and that in turn makes no sense unless Rodriguez wants to be on his lineup card.He put it in terms of uncertainty about the return of much-admired teammates, which sweetens, not sours, relationships. But his behavior makes absolutely no sense unless it was timed to precede the Girardi announcement, and that in turn makes no sense unless Rodriguez wants to be on his lineup card.

Right there, in that simple sentence that prefaced that logically ridiculous paragraph, he brands himself an ass... if I heard those words come out of some mook's mouth while sitting at a bar I would have smashed him in the face even if he was six foot eight..

A-Hole couldn't give a rat's ass about Pettitte, Georgie, Girardi or Mo; for Sweet Baby Jeebus's sake, Boras had the gall to try throwing Mo under a bus!

As I said over at The DBGB, I think A-Hole and Boras screwed up by pulling the opt-out the way they did. It's obvious (at least to me) that they think they are still dealing with Darth Boss George. That crap died with Boomer's hamburger.

Those days are over. Now, it's Baby Boss, Hank, and I have a feeling he's gonna be an absolute prick when it comes to dealing with Boras and A-Hole.

If I'm Ian Kennedy, I'm worrying about my life in Pinstripes. Nothing personal, kid, but you are currently being jockeyed by The Anti-Christ. Ipso facto: Cashman might complain, but you are trade bait.

Remember, this is the Yankees. We will trade your ass in a heartbeat. If Baby Boss has learned anything from Darth Boss, it is "fuck these bastards who will not take the ride."

It's Hot Stove Time!

http://www.marianorivera.com/

Walter O'Malley's Ghost

MANAGER’S L.A. MOVE COMES A LITTLE TOO QUICK:

"IF THIS happens, if Brooklyn's favorite son winds up managing Brooklyn's erstwhile baseball team, there are two things I will want to know in short order: 1. Does this mean Billy Crystal trades in the interlocking “NY' for the interlocking “LA' for good now? 2. What did Joe Torre know, and when did he know it?"

This should, finally, put a stake in the heart of Uncle Joe Torre's sainthood. Negotiating with LA before they threw Grady Little under the bus was just as bush league as what Boras and A-Hole pulled.

And, if (as rumored) he brings Mattingly and Bowa along for the ride, and fails to light up the NL West, something that's always sat in the back of my mind will become clear:

It wasn't him; it was Mel Stott and Zim, working with Buck and Stick's guys. Joe was just along for the ride.

Did Boras Blow It?

UNTIL THE END, IT WAS ALWAYS ABOUT A-ROD

If I am an owner, and I know that the Yankees have made it crystal clear that they will not even bother making an offer for A-Hole to remain in the Bronx after pulling his opt-out move without even talking to the team, why in Baby Jeebus's name would I throw a contract on the table with the numbers Boras has bandied about?

There are only a few teams who are in a position to afford it, and, IMO, three of them: the Yanks, Red Sox and Mets, are out of the equation.

YANKS: Baby Boss made it clear: "Fuck you, A-Hole. We were willing to pay, and you spit on us by opting out without even hearing what we had to say. DIAF."
METS: Omar isn't an asshole; he saw all the crap that swirled around A-Hole's stint in the Bronx, and he doesn't need a third baseman or shortstop. He's gonna spend his money elsewhere to trying putting his squad over the top, especially after their late season implosion.
RED SOX: What, they're gonna ditch Lowell? If they are gonna throw crazy money at anyone, he's the one RSN will demand be on the receiving end. Bringing in A-Hole would seriously screw the team's chemistry... I can't imagine Tek and A-Hole sharing a clubhouse... and it could potentially lead to Epstein and Henry getting serious death threats if they even talk about 'Slappy McBluelips' out loud if the trade-off is losing Lowell.

Of the remaining teams that could afford it, my bet would be the Halos; Vlad and A-Hole would be a helluva one/two punch. But it would be kinda interesting if nobody bites at the $30 million per year price. It would force Boras into a corner. If the bastard had waited until the Yanks had put an offer on the table and then said, "we want to test the waters," instead of pulling that stunt while the World Series was still underway, more teams would probably be willing, but after showing all of MLB that for A-Hole it's "all about me," I think a lot of owners are not gonna bother even trying to sign him.

Would you be willing to lock 20-30% of your salary to one guy who has never done shit when it's playoff time? Texas had a decent team before that moron owner signed A-Hole to that psychotic contract, and look what it got them: the cellar. The Yanks have nothing to show for taking A-Hole on; indeed, a case could be made that bringing him to the Bronx was a mistake. So unless Boras already has an owner's offer in his pocket (which would be "tampering" under MLB rules), he may have screwed the pooch and actually depressed A-Hole's price.

Attention: Potential Site Rebranding

If The Lip is right, Don Mattingly will manage if Boss Steinbrenner still rules then nothing will change.

If they pick Girardi, I'm renaming this joint. It will be called The Darth Boss George Brigade The King Lear's George Kiddie Korp.

and, for no real reason...


whenever I see this, I think, "they weren't a band, they were a gang."

Just for El Jefe

Everyone else? Act like I didn't post this.
Rockies Counseled on the Challenges of Playoff Baseball in Fenway Park

I'm Home; Honking Post, Pics to Follow

LeatherPenguin � Home; Honking Post, Pics to Follow

Since We're Beginning The Winter of Hell [Updated]

Go Sox.

now KILL THE ROX.
/Damn me to hell, but I am AL

And AWAY, We Go!

It's gonna be All Wrong:
National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum: Home

Not yelling at people? Just mumbling: "Fuck the Rockies".... Sheesh, this weekend is gonna Major League blow:
Steinbrenner family ties put everyone in bind

Every time I head up there, it's 'bet on it' fun. This year? Unless crazed Tribe teepee escapees are running amok, it's gonna suck

Madden is a Dick

He, really, has no idea what is going on. I've talked to (ooh, "not named")... no one gives a fuck for you)

It's the money, the power... it BELIEVE ME JESUS is not you douchebags who never did nothing.

BEERS. HERE.
(yes, I'm just busting balls, but look in the mirror?
Yankee silence doesn't bode well for Joe Torre

Trot!

The Official Site of The Boston Red Sox: News: Boston Red Sox News: "'We've got a war in front of us,' said Red Sox catcher Jason Varitek. 'Obviously they don't back down, we don't back down. We've got to be ready to play Monday.'"

Torre Death Watch: Day Two

COTGM Exclusive: Steinbrenner Threatened Far More than Torre’s Job

On a more serious note, if you're Joe Torre, would you want to come back? I mean, the "Joba Rules" were put in place precisely because everyone was afraid Uncle Joe would burn the kid out, and he showed he was willing to do that by using the kid in a Game 3, where he had a five run lead, after not threatening to pull the kid and his team off the field during the Attack of the Bugs if the umps didn't delay the game. Really, hosing him down with Raid™ ? Twice? Why not smear the kid with Armorall during a threatened rain delay? It was bullshit.

That kinda deciding tells me he ain't gonna have anybody defending him if the decision about offering him a new contract ever makes it to the table.

Ya know I hate to link 'em but...

THIS is just too good to pass up

Good Win!

Is it just me or is Hughes starting to look like a number 1 again?

Let's hope Mussina has it tomorrow.

Why Joba?

The lead was 5 runs. I know this game is must win, but they could have used one of the other guys until and unless the Indians got closer. Joba could have been brought in then if necessary. Now he is blown for tomorrow and with Mussina or Wang starting it seems less likely that there will be a five run lead going into the seventh and more likely that effective bullpen assistance will be required.

Just asking.

Win. Period

Joe Torre Is An Idiot

Why wasn't Joba pulled?

It was obvious that his focus was gone.

Why wasn't Mariano warming up when Sizemore was walked in four pitches?

Why wasn't Mariano in when we were lucky enough to find ourselves with two outs (they gave us one with that silly bunt, and then that line drive to Minky was luck in itself)?

Mariano comes in, this game is already over and we're going back to NY tied up.

Now? Who knows what's going to happen?

On the other hand, maybe god doesn't want the Yankees to win. Maybe he hates the Yankees so much that he sent his plague of locusts to mess with them.

Injun VooDoo: "Voice of God" Sent to the Sidelines

SI.com - MLB - Yankees announcer Sheppard to miss div. series - Friday October 5, 2007 4:41PM

That Better Be the End of the Ugly

Jeez, I don't know what was the worse thing I saw last night: Torre's decision to leave Wang in after it was obvious the sinker wasn't sinking; throwing the greenest guy in his bullpen into a "gotta stop the bleeding NOW" situation, or letting Sabathia off the hook and stranding runners all over the place... guy walks SIX and not one of them score? Unacceptable!

Lofton keys Indians' rout of Yankees in Game 1 - Baseball - MSNBC.com

Look, Bombers, I have so far managed to go the entire season without destroying a television; don’t make me ruin the first season like that I’ve had in fucking years by pulling that kinda shit tonight.

56 Years Ago Today

A Staten Island guy hit the Shot Heard 'Round the World

Let the Kicking Continue!

Mets' brass disconnected from fan base's outrage

I'm Watching 'Yankees Classics' on YES

First, it astounds me that no one ever just shot Howard Cosell, on General Principles.

Next, JESUS CHRIST WANTS TO BE RENAMED "REGGIE" BUT THURMAN WON'T ALLOW IT



OH CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN replies:

"Be serious. I told Reggie in '77, "I'm gonna kill you if you don't come through." Chambliss saved his ass. Took a whole damn year for that asshole Jackson to figure out Piniella was ready to fucking kill him right there on the field."

There IS a God...

and the sucker wears Pinstripes, baby!



Yo, Muttsies

Red Letter Day

Mutts are now the title holders of BIGGEST COLLAPSE IN MLB HISTORY!

Congratulations, Red Sox Nation

LeatherPenguin: Congratulations, Red Sox Nation

It's Retard Day in Yankeeland

Manager: Jorge
Pitching Coach: Moose
Bullpen Coach: Villone
Trainer: RhoidBoy

When asked to contribute, Mariano Rivera was heard to say, "Fuck you, Georgie, I'm taking the day off."

Red Sox Win AL East

Red Sox accomplish dual goals 1.) Win AL East 2.) Negotiate deal with Middle East to spread Red Sox brand in Arab culture while agreeing to exploit Red Sox to kill Jews.(is that the dude thats married to Christina Aguilera?)

On the Ropes; KO'd this Weekend?

GO FISH! FINISH THESE BASTARDS OFF.

C'mon, TC wants to be swimming in all the beer the bastard fans of that team in Queens will owe me if they pull the ultimate FAIL! and get knocked out of the playoffs after leading their division for the whole damn year.

You twirps thought I was outta my mind making those bets at the All Star break... who's laughing now, asshats?

UPDATE: too funny

Pictures That Are Too Funny NOT To Post

Still Darth Boss

Joe Torre dines with George Steinbrenner:

Torre said Steinbrenner was in good shape and encouraged by the Yankees' second-half surge, although the Boss was not pleased that his club failed to clinch a playoff berth on Tuesday night against the Devil Rays. 'I said, 'How are you doing?' and he said, 'Not so good,'' Torre said.

'That's when I knew he was fine."

"I Love You, Man!" Now DON'T FUCK UP

New York Yankees' Joba Chamberlain, right, and Alex Rodriguez celebrate aft... - MLB - Yahoo! Sports

Joel Sherman Stirs Up Some Shit

MUSSINA: THE ‘RULES’ HAVE GOT TO GO

“When you put on a uniform in the postseason, you’re available every day,” Mussina said. “That’s just simply the way it is.”

When asked if this represented a team-wide view, Mussina said, “I am pretty sure you can take a survey, and it would be the same opinion.”

Honest answer: "I have no idea."

Cash replies:

However, general manager Brian Cashman is entrusted to balance both the present and a future in which he wants a healthy, overpowering Chamberlain in the rotation. So as the overseer of the Joba Rules, he was hardly thrilled about Mussina’s sentiments, saying by phone last night, “Mike needs to worry about doing his job and we will do our job. “At the end of the day, we [upper management] know what we are doing.”

TC interprets Cashmanese: "Mussina, do you really want to fuck with me? STFU AND GBTW."

Hey, Moose? Here's a newsflash: You ain't necessarily needed for the 2008 rotation. Even if you go crazy hot, it might not earn you a spot. Joba already owns one of the right hand starting slots for next year. You? Two words: Bernie Williams.

You thinking dumping you would make Cash break a sweat?

UPDATE: OH CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN replies:

"An Oriole? My right hand has more honor digging through a hole in my pants. At least Reggie's unbearable bullshit won games that counted and got me some rings. That clown? He couldn't even put away that asshat Everett with a perfecto on the line... now gimme a beer, my throat's tight from all this talking."

God, I Hate This Shit [Updated}

First fourteen innings last night, now a goddamn five hour game with the Yanks using ten friggin' pitchers?

Screw this, I'm taking the dog for a walk.

UPDATE: RIGHT, like they'll allow me to walk out. (and "looking scared as hell being interviewed" Melky hereby earns the ultimate respect: tomorrow, I wear his shirt).

Let's Go Mutts!

Seriously, I think I'm enjoying watching them melt down more than the idea that the Yanks can end up winning the AL East.

If the Mutts blow the division there are a bunch of schmucks hanging out in a bar around the corner from me that are gonna have hell to pay (and cases of beer they're gonna owe me) after the crap I put up with from them all season long.

If somehow they pull a total collapse and fail to make the playoffs (don't know if that's statistically possible, but one can hope) I may end up owning that goddamn bar!

Yoo-Hoo, Red Sox Naaaa-shun...

WEER IN UR REAR VIEW MIRROR
LOOKING LARGER THAN WE APPEAR SCARY AS ALL GET OUT

teh funny

Shades of Bucky

"It's an honor to watch the best clutch hitter in history do his thing, and the best closer in history do his thing," said Roger Clemens, who in his first start since Sept. 3 dueled Schilling to a 1-all tie before leaving after six innings. "Jeter is one of the reasons that I got up off the couch and came back."

Jeter's HR knocks Schilling off beat as Yanks edge Red Sox


(image from noMaas.org)

with the game on the line:
Bacon vs. Jeter: Red Sox FAIL.
Mo vs. Papi: Red Sox FAIL.

Yes, Jabo-san, the world is, once again, set right tonight.
Now go pray to Thurman and then off to bed.

Captain Obvious (Eric Hinske): "If you can’t get up for a Red Sox-Yankees game, you’ve got something wrong with you."