Who's Your Daddy Pappa-san?

Dice-K wriggled of the hook, Andy was flat and his fielders were kicking the ball around most of the night (note to AL: "don't try running on Melky... he kicks ass when it comes to assists"), but the Yanks blasted the crap out of the Boston bullpen's best to win a game they had no business winning:
WHERE ARE YOUR BULLPEN GODS NOW?

This is why the New York Yankees are potentially the most dangerous team in the playoffs. That six-spot they put up in the eighth inning against two of the best relievers in baseball - Hideki Okajima and Jonathan Papelbon - is proof enough that the Yankees can hit good pitching.

What are the chances they'll come up against a pitching staff similar to the Tigers of last season and get shut down again? I wouldn't bet the house on it. Anyway, that was a hard question to answer last night after they overturned a 7-2 Sox lead and took an 8-7 victory last night at Fenway.

"It certainly makes us feel better than it makes them feel bad," said Yankees manager Joe Torre. "It's great for us. We lost a tough game in Toronto. We gave a lot away tonight. I want to say it's huge with 15-16 games left on the schedule. This is where emotion kind of takes over."

If I'm the Yankees, I fly Bucky in to deliver today's lineup card.

Yoo Hoo, oh NATION....

I've told youse mooks a gazillion times, "SPRING FORWARD... FALL BACK."

and now we approach the Fall, and what do you mooks do?

START FALLING BACK.



WE R IN UR REAR VIEW MIRROR
LOOKING LARGER THAN WE APPEAR SCARY AS ALL GET OUT

the weekend's gonna be Armeggedon

C'mon, admit it: there is nothing fucking bettah!

Not on His Own Team, but A-Hole is Definitely Gonna be the AL MVP

There's no way in hell it ain't gonna happen. After yesterday, he has his name notched next to Ruth, Mantle (who he most likely will pass within the next two weeks eight days, max ) and Maris as single season Yankee HR kings (and considering just how retarded his hot streak has been all season long, I would not dare bet against him passing those other two, too).

He's now hit more career HRs than any other third baseman, a record he already holds among shortstops.

Really, who the hell else could anyone vote for after this "magical" season shit?

SWEET BABY JEEBUS, HE HIT ANOTHER ONE WHILE I WAS PROOFING THIS!

Anyone who still thinks he's gonna opt out is out of their ever-loving, motherfucking mind. A-hole (or as I like to call him, "Chi Chi Rodriqweez"), is Madison Avenue GOLD as long as he wears Pinstripes. He leaves, he's a clean King Rhoid who will never hit Cooperstown with the impact he'd make having his plaque wearing a Yankee cap.

Just ask Dave Winfield. "Pimary Team=Yankees" Cap=Padre

Bleacher Creatures Aren't the Only Animals Lurking Out in Right Field

“Rally Monkey?” This is Da Bronx, Jack! We Don’t Need No Freakin’ “Rally Monkey”

To the Stadium Clowns Chanting "MVP!"

You're serenading the wrong guy.

This season's Yankee MVP does NOT work at third base; he is squatting behind the plate. When Gator was gonna leave Wang in the game Jorge said "no way, pull him right now" because he realized what Wang means to the team. He basically ordered Torre to give the ace of their pitching staff the hook, and Uncle Joe did what he was told to do by the REAL leader of this team. The fact the Yanks are still in the playoff picture rests entirely on Jorge's rock solid shoulders, not A-Hole's gaudy numbers.

Everyone makes a big deal about A-Hole possibly walking after this season... well, the idea the Posada might not be back scares me far more than losing A-Hole.

The Sun Was In My Eyes....

uh....my shoe was untied....yeah, that's it! A blister in his foot caused the elbow injury. How much is his endorsement deal for his footwear? And how much are the skanks paying this fuck?

Money well spent, George. Hey, at least he showed up against us in the Bronx.

I'm Glad I Got Hippie Hair...

because I'm about five fucking seconds from tearing the shit right off of my skull.

This Just In

Kenny Singleton just informed us that, despite having the Big Team call up a chunk of their top-line pitching staff, the AAA kids are beating the beejezus out of RSN's Pawtucket Punks.

Unpossible!
Yet true.

We stomp you in NY-Penn;
We stomp you in Triple A, too.

Good lord a mighty!
We're working the "youth voodoo."

WE R IN UR REAR VIEW MIRROR
LOOKING LARGER THAN WE APPEAR

I'm waiting for Cash (a la the Bruins with Bobby Orr) to just BUY some youth league (or an entire country's baseball program) that produces quality prospects.

I mean, it's not like he couldn't afford it.

The Post in Which I Prostrate Myself Before the Sage's HOF Plaque and Beg for His Benificent Forgiveness

I'm sorry, Yogi-san. I should never have doubted the wisdom of your words.


Yankee wins give pennant race new look

If this week's kid, Ian Kennedy, strikes my fancy tomorrow in his MLB debut, my season-long betting discipline is going directly out the window.

Ho Hum- Yanks Sweep

While the sweep was probably like a swift kick to the nuts to the reactionary WEEI mouth foaming pessimist fan, many enlightened Sox fans, like myself, are not very concerned about 3 straight losses. Here are five reasons:
1.) A big division lead fosters a lackadaisical attitude to the games. You want your team heading into the playoffs hot, playing hard like somebody shoved a hot poker up your ass.
2.) As we've seen, the 2007 Yanks have shown the ability to from white hot to ice cold. Each time the Yanks have closed the division gap, they coughed it back up faster than young Jimmy getting a handy from Mary Lou.
3.) The Sox starters havent lost their ability to pitch well.... the hitters (Mostly-Manniless) were scuffling this series against decent pitching, but goodbye NYC, hello Baltimore! 'nuff said there.
4.) The complexion of those games would have changed had they occurred at Fenway (JD homer= out, 2 Cano homers- out, out, A-Rod homer= single)
5.) Even if the Yanks creep in ala Wild Card, they'll get bounced by Anaheim in the A.L.D.S. (as we ALL know)

A Moment of Silence, Please

Sic transit gloria mundi

Hilly Kristal, Founder Of CBGB, Dies Of Cancer

Hilly Kristal, whose dank Bowery rock club CBGB served as the birthplace of the punk rock movement and a launching pad for bands like the Ramones, Blondie and the Talking Heads, has died after a battle with lung cancer, his son said Wednesday. He was 75.

Jeez, I have no idea the number of nights I spent in that dive. Good times.

“He created a club that started on a small, out-of-the-way skid row, and saw it go around the world,” said Lenny Kaye, a longtime member of the Patti Smith Group. “Everywhere you travel around the world, you saw somebody wearing a CBGB T-shirt.”

Godspeed, you Magnificent Bastard, and thanks for all the memories.

Say "hello" to Dee Dee, Johnny and Joey for me... and kick Thunders in the nuts for puking on the floor in Rock & Roll Heaven.

It's Over

Yeah, they might earn the wildcard slot, but that just means they'll get blown away in Round One:
Time Torre throws changeup at rotation:

"A few days ago, Mike Mussina scoffed at any notion that he needed to pitch well last night to retain his spot in the rotation. 'Who would they replace me with?' Mussina asked dismissively. Three innings into a third straight disastrous start last night, you couldn't help thinking those might be remembered as famous last words from Mussina."

Melky saved him from getting yanked in the first inning. They can't DL Mussina; the league would never stand for it. The Yanks have two gaping holes in the starting rotation: Moose and Clemens. You can't--if you are honest--trust either one of them. It's Pettite, Wang, and "flip a fucking coin."

And now the Red Sox come to town.... Oh, Joy!

Tick Tick Tick...

With the sweep of the double-header and the Skanks loss in extras the magic number is now 28. Sox go 18-14 down the stretch and the Skanks lose 10 then the 'Destiny and Aura' era is over.

By-the-by, TC: your boys are now 3 back of the Fishermen in the wildcard race. Found the panic button yet?

So What Will Santana Cost?

Mussina's a busted nut; it's time to re-up.

I'm Watching Righetti's No Hitter...

on YES's "Yankee Classics," and it amazes me just how godawfully shitty that team was.

How Piniella didn't decide to just kill some of those chumps is confounding.

They Better ALL be Wearing Number Ten tonight

(Cooperstown, Main lobby "The Holy Cow")

or I swear there will be hell to pay....

Patience with prospects paying off for Bombers

He still has to answer for Kyle Farnsworth and Kei Igawa, to be sure, but Cashman doesn't look so dumb anymore, does he?

Not until Duncan's "Bash Brothers" shit breaks someone's wrist. Don't get me wrong: I love seeing that enthusiastic stuff... but he's gonna damage someone from the older part of the lineup. Melky can take it, easy; maybe even Cano. Jorge? He might end up on the DL.
Patience with prospects paying off for Bombers

The "C&C" Youth Juice

A bit old, but piss off; I was on vaca.
On the Yankees beat:Cabrera and Cano

via The Bronx Block

Oh, BTW, Nationites: How's that "15.something ERA" Gagne thing working out for you?

God Bless "The Mick"

“That boy hits baseballs over buildings. He runs as fast as Ty Cobb.”
— Casey Stengel

Me and the Yankees is all this guy's fault; his star overrides being born in the Bronx and a murderous intent for damn near anything to do with Queens that's coded into my genes. I'll never forget the resignation that registered on Da's face when he handed me the sliotar that he'd smacked home for the winning point in a game at Gaelic Park and I, already havving my soul stoled at the ripe age of five, immediately forged Mickey's signature on the sucker and demanded he take me to that afternoon's game at The Stadium.

PS: Costas' eulogy: "But I guess I'm here, not so much to speak for myself as to simply represent the millions of baseball-loving kids who grew up in the '50s and '60s and for whom Mickey Mantle was baseball.

"And more than that, he was a presence in our lives – a fragile hero to whom we had an emotional attachment so strong and lasting that it defied logic. Mickey often said he didn't understand it, this enduring connection and affection – for men now in their forties and fifties, otherwise perfectly sensible, who went dry in the mouth and stammered like schoolboys in the presence of Mickey Mantle."

or will always be thinking "what could have been" if his knees had held up. Kinda like Bobby Orr; if they had the luck of good health, they would have rewritten the record books. First time I met him, at his joint in Manhattan, I was, according to a friend accompanying me, "reduced to a gibbering idiot."

Nah, I just reverted to that five year old kid.

Official Mickey Mantle Web Site

Hall of Fame page

The Bronx Block

The Bronx Block | MVN - Most Valuable Network

Pretty good Yankee blog. The guy running the joint, Jim Johnson, seems to know his stuff.

As an added attraction, he doesn't fly off the handle like a certain blog admin we all know... hey, what?

This Guy Should Die In A Fire

Condé Nast Cocksucker Ambushes Darth Boss George

Oh Captain, Our Captain

8/2/79: Thurman Munson Dies In Plane Crash

Possibly the Stupidest Baseball Hack on the Planet

I'm serious. After skimming over a couple of his other columns, this crap: How Sox's Deal for Gagne Helps Yanks, only hints at what an ass Steven Goldman truly is when writing about baseball.

"Shel-ley Dun-can!" (clap clap clapclapclap)

I am falling in love with that kid. With him, Cano and Melky we got a rollicking "SI Yankees' Three Amigos" thing going on in the dugout. It is too frickin' cool to have seen them (and Andy Phillips, Wang et al) go from NY-Penn to the Big Show in da Bronx.

Proctor and not Farnsworth?

TC, your boys on the island got it right.

I still can't believe that Wilson Betemit is a Skank and Gagne isn't.

Yep, He's Still "Good Ol' A-Hole"

When the lights shine bright he disappears in the night:

Nearly everybody and his uncle were knocking balls over the wall last night for the Yankees. Seven Bombers effortlessly ripped eight homers, tying a franchise record from FDR's days back in 1939. You got the feeling the bat boy might have lined one off the left-field foul pole, if given half a chance during the 16-3 victory against these White Sox pitching imposters.

But Alex Rodriguez kept flying out - deep, deeper, deepest; then shallow and sharply shallow. His balls died like wounded quails out there by the warning track, where they usually take flight. He finished the night 0-for-5, sagging along on an 0-for-17 slump since his 499th homer Wednesday.

And while it is easy to feel for the guy, this may be yet another unfortunate indicator that A-Rod is still not A-Man for A-Moment. The cameras flashed. The star fizzled.

When the heat is on, it seems he's not so hot

Further proof that the second sentence in the subtitle above is No Exaggeration

"A New York man has been charged with beating his mother to death with a barbell after losing his temper while watching a baseball game on television.

Michael Anthony, 25, was watching the New York Mets lose a game on Saturday from his home in the borough of Queens when he began furiously banging on the walls, Queens District Attorney Richard Brown said in a statement on Monday.

His father Fred Fischman shouted at him to stop, but Anthony punched him in the face and threw him to the ground, according to the criminal charges.

When Anthony's mother, Maria Fischman, 61, tried to intervene, prosecutors said he stabbed her once in the head with a knife before chasing her into a bedroom where he struck her several times with the nine-kilogram barbell."

IOL: Mets fan allegedly kills mom after team lose

The only move I want to See Cashman Make Today

Farnsworth. Tree. Rope.
some assembly required.

Seriously. Eat a piece of his contract and trade him somewhere for a bucket of Extra Crispy if you have to, Cashie, but just get the SOB away from the team, or Posada and Mo might just beat the fucker to death next time he pops off like he did this past weekend.

Why am I Not in Cooperstown Right Now

It's hall of Fame Induction Day!

Cash to League: "Not Yours."

This would have been impossible to conceive just a few years ago:
Cash: Hands off young arms

"Just call them The Untouchables. With the trade deadline five days away, several teams would love to pry Phil Hughes, Joba Chamberlain or Ian Kennedy away from the Yankees, but Brian Cashman has no intention of dealing any of the three.

'You can't hold them all, but certain ones, you have to,' Cashman said. 'It's what you're supposed to do - collect as much talent as you can to help yourself.'"

The Dugout

This is a pretty funny website most days.... Definitely worth a look see if you haven't visited before.

Oliver Platt has DBG down

The guy playing Yogi also cracks me up.

YOGI: "Why so many dagos make it?"
BILLY: "We take it personal."

ZING!

(yes, I've bailed on the game, only checking in during commercials)

This "Special Ball" Crap is Bullshit

What is the bloody point using those hologrammed balls until after he hits 499? The point is validify number 500; 499 ain't worth shit.

UPDATE: I stand corrected: via FARK
"Weird disclaimer of the day: #499 might actually turn out to be #500! The reason : The Yankees and the Orioles on Friday will finish a game suspended on June 28. If A-Rod homers in the last two innings of that game, and he is due up second in the first inning they will play,it will be officially credited as happening on June 28! This would technically make last nights home run #500...hope someone saved it...."

Feds to King Rhoid: "Tick, Tock; the Show's Over"

you're going down, the only guy whose hat size increased from "working in the gym" ...


Feds ready to indict King Rhoid

Bye bye, so long, farewell

Is Shelley Duncan a Shane Spencer Reincarnate?

Kid looks like he's got a way wicked hot bat.

My Two Cents

Alright, I listen to MLB on XM nearly every day. During interleague play there are a TON of arguments about schedules being fair. Well, here’s my take:

1. Go back to a balanced schedule (and balanced leagues)
2. Keep interleague play but make it balanced as well
3. Get rid of the divisions and go back to AL/NL

Go back to a balanced schedule. Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE that my Sox play the Skanks 19 times a year. The problem is: we play each other 19 times a year. If we went back to a balanced schedule the rivalry would just go nuclear. I believe it is a better test of a team to play everyone the same amount of times. My ‘fix’ is to play everyone in the AL 8 times (FOUR game sets!); 4 at home and away. With a balanced league (yeah, that's right, Bud, 15 teams in each league) that would be 112 games in the AL (8 games times 14 opponents).

Keep interleague play but make it balanced as well. Now here comes the trick. You play ALL the teams from the NL 3 times. You rotate home/away every other year (i.e. Skanks play the Mutts in Queens this year and in the Bronx next year). Interleague game total = 45. Add that to the above ‘league only’ games and you have a 157 game season. Oh, yeah, and while we're at it: DH is used in NL parks and the pitcher hits in the AL.

Get rid of the divisions and go back to AL/NL. No more divisions. Yes, I know it ‘works’ for the NFL. However, it doesn’t work for the NBA (the closest comparison to MLB). IMAFO, with a 157 game season the top 4 teams go to the playoffs same as now. However, the shitty team in a weak division doesn’t get in. You’d have the ‘one seed’ play the ‘four seed’ and the same for the second and third seeds.

Can someone tell me why this doesn't make ANY sense?

Happy Coney Day!

David Cone's perfect game

I say we toss Farnsworth on a bonfire to appeal to the Baseball Gods to please stop fucking with my head!

The regular bees buzzing in my skull don't need any help, m'kay?

Today's I Call This One

The Boras Bitch Slap

Well done, Tito, well done.

Title H/T to the beloved SondraK

This Better Not Suck

I've avoided reading any reviews, mostly because I was there for it all:

the blackout (when we realized what was going on, me and my friends, quite frankly, went bonkers with glee: "NO ALARMS WORK--IT'S PILLAGING TIME!);

Son of Sam (who scared the living shit out of me, because my sister was a near-perfect example of what seemed to be his demographic "target," and as it played out I was convinced the fucker was gonna cross the V-Z Bridge because Queens and Brooklyn were too hot with cops on a manhunt),

and lordy, the craziest, most absolutely flat-out insane season in Yankee history... until the following year, when, of all people, Bucky "Fucking" Dent tore the hearts out of Red Sox Nation (and reminds all Yankee fans that even though this season has been one big clusterfuck, "It ain't over till it's over!")

The Bronx is Burning

Everbody Needs Some

...done gassed up the Pontiac...

A Day Late...

The Darth Boss George Brigade: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AMERICA...
and Darth Boss George!

I'll be back after the All Star Break

Good sweet wailing baby Jeebus... 8-0 and the second isn't over? Somebody gimme a Reggie Bar to throw at this TV screen.

Screw you guys, I'm in the backyard, right now, cooking me some hunks of cow (with an ear aimed at the radio, hoping Suzie finally kills Sterling if for no other reason that "just because"...).

"Hi! My Name's Bobby Abreu. I Promise You, if you hit de ball directly at me, I WILL catch de ball."

I'm developing a serious HATE for that fucking asshole.

Falling Back to the Ballpark in St. George

The "big team" is driving me nuts.

In Saint G, at least I eat for free.

I promise to stop saying "Oh fuck those bastards, let the ALL die!"

Sometime after the All-Star Game.

Wait... let's make that a "maybe."

OUR GOOKS WILL KICK YOUR GOOKS!

Mariners follow Yankees, sign 2 from China - MLB - Yahoo! Sports

What? You thought for a rat's ass second I wasn't gonna go there?

Baby Bombers Have Another "Holy Shit!" Kid

St. George was goddamned rockin' last night:
Betances brilliant for S.I. Yanks

MEMO
TO: Mandalay Baseball
RE: Joining the Evil Empire

Sirs,
You people just flat-out rock. I've been a season ticket holder since the Baby Bombers were born (though that first season when they were playing at CSI was a tad dicey, seeing as how CSI Security has me on what is knnown as the "keep an eye on him" list).

But good lordy, last night was a blast. The stadium looked fantastic; the weather was perfect....

And I am buying an entire season's worth of the "All You Can Eat" ticket plan, damn the gastro-intestinel aftermath!

HEY, TC?

Can you see us over the horizon?

June 21st and only ONE game over .500. You're going to have to play .666 ball the rest of the way out to even think about having a chance for the playoffs.

That said, if 'Tek goes down again you could probably stick a fork in us like last year.

This Day in Yankee History

"Louisiana Lightning Strikes"

I'm biased as all get-out, but if any pitcher has put up a better season since Gator tore the league apart in 1978... hell, since I've been alive, you're gonna be hard pressed proving it to me.

And don't even try talking that Mickey Lolich shit.

HEY, JEFE?

It's called "the rear view mirror."

LOOK INTO IT.

"The Red Sox? FUCK THE RED SOX. They're like Daylight Savings Time: Spring forward; FALL back."

"Now feed me that fatheaded fuck called "Mr. Mutt."

Today's Fun Fact

A-Hole has more home runs than Manny and Papi, combined.

Umm, Err... It's a STREAK!

YANKS HAVE SIX APPEAL

Nettles Would Have Felt Right at Home*

There ought to be a carnival barker stationed outside the gates off River Ave., screaming through a megaphone. Hurry, hurry, step right on up and see the bearded lady, the sword-swallowing freak, the four-horned goat.

Step right up & see Rocket!

*

Six Foot TEN?

Holy crap! He doesn't need a mound; he's pitching downhill on level ground.
Yanks Reel In College Righty

Are you surpised? Be honest...

Here is an interesting article about some heathens beating up a traffic directing firefighter *note the appearance of the assailants... pay special attention to the caps...;)

i'm just kidding, the thugs probably wear those caps solely as a fashion statement, perhaps even of the leather variety, or alternate colors or some crazy splash on them... but still.

Rest in Peace, Clete

Former Yankees 3B Clete Boyer dead at 70:

"'He was a great Yankee and a tough guy. He never talked too much but he was extremely hardworking. A wonderful third baseman, and had fire in his belly,' Yankees owner George Steinbrenner said through a spokesman."

The Last Laugh?

Sox fan gets it right

Finally! He Comes Through in the Clutch

Two outs. Two strikes. And a stud closer on the mound.

Then Papelbon attempted to close out A-Rod with a fastball that the Yankees’ cleanup hitter drove through the rain and over the right-field wall for what proved to be the game-winning hit in a pulsating 6-5 Yankees win in front of 36,793 at Fenway Park.

ALEX POPS PAP IN 9TH

Yay Yanks! Now kick some White Sox ass and maybe I'll have a reason to believe.

I believe the term is 'Munson'd'

Are you FUCKING kidding me?

"I think I tore my sack!"

Or something thereabouts.

KKKlemens = Pussy

Welcome Back My Friends...

to the show that never ends....

Circus atmosphere

Joe Torre wasn't kidding when he said this would be a circus, and the reason why the Yankees left Roger Clemens at home.

Fenway Park should have had a tent thrown over it, and not just because of the storm clouds that caused the start of last night's 9-5 Red Sox loss to the Bombers to be delayed by 30 minutes. About the only sideshows missing from this one were Zip the Pinhead, Tom Thumb, and Ula, the Painproof Rubber Girl.

Five hit batsmen, the last clearing the benches and bullpens;
princess masks and "I GOT IT!" shouts greeting A-Hole;
Torre getting Piniella-like in an umpire's face!

Yep, it's gonna be a wild weekend.

You can take the Yankees and the Red Sox out of a pennant fight. But you can't take the fight out of the Yankees and the Red Sox.
That's all. It's a law of baseball nature.

Another "Coalition" Memory Lane Moment

is fascinating how much Then is sounding like Now:

Coalition of the Darkside: Hey, Hey, Ho, Ho, Does Joe Have To Go?

God Damnit, Someone Cut Proctor's Nuts Off, NOW!

Dear Darth Boss George,
Fire Torre. Light Mattingly's ass on fire.
But fer chrissakes, DO SOMETHING.

This is getting ridiculous...

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Yanks Philosophy

The past few months, we baseball fans have been force-fed the notion that the Yanks have finally changed their colors and abandoned the practice of signing big money stars in favor of developing younger cheaper on-the-up players. Yanks want Helton? Whazzupwitdat?!

Those Were the Days, My Friends

A blast from the past.

An Ugly Trend

Since 1932, the Yankees have only won two World Series (1956 and 1958) under a Republican President (and only six total of their twenty six titles). All eight of the championships over the last 48 years have come while a Democrat was in the Oval Office, despite Democrats holding the Office only 20 of those 48 years. In other words during those Democrat administrations, the Yankees are 8 for 20, during the Republican ones, 0 for 28. The Red Sox are the opposite; in a small sample size (very small), they have won all of their championships over the last 88 years while a Republican was in office.

TC, unless the Yankees win this year or the next, I'm afraid that for the good of the team we might need to vote Blue next time.

"Panic" Has Entered My Vocabulary

Yank killer instinct seems to be dead:

This one became just another loss when Joe Torre's Yankees couldn't get an out from a relief pitcher when they really needed one, the kind of out Aaron Heilman got against Derek Jeter in the top of the eighth when it was 8-6 and the Yankees had first and third with two outs and the people who had stayed at Shea felt as if they were doing what their team was doing, which meant hanging on for dear life.

RhoidBoy Comes Clean

Giambi admits he took steroids

"I was wrong for doing that stuff," Giambi admitted to USA Today before the Yankees played the White Sox yesterday. "What we should have done a long time ago was stand up - players, ownership, everybody - and said: 'We made a mistake.'"

We can only hope that this will, finally, make Sterling stop that ridiculous "Giambino" horseshit.

Babe only needed hot dogs, beer, and hookers to be the greatest player of all time.

SHE'S BAAACK....

and pissed to High Heaven!

Do. Not. Want. (faster than the blog)

(sigh... I miss the LI)

STANDINGS!

Just take a look at the standings... .700 baseball... most runs scored.... least runs allowed. Surely it will change eventually, but I'm gonna take a mental snapshot and enjoy this.

I don't believe the hype

The NY media may be willing to give us the pennant but I ain't buying it. Maybe unfrozen caveman is though:

"If the Red Sox keep playing the way they are nobody is going to catch them,'' Damon said after the Yankees were handcuffed, 2-1...

Something's gotta give

When did the AL East become the worst division in all of the bigs?

Only one team with a record above .500?

Oh, yeah, that's right...KKKlemens is back. Might as well issue the WS rings on the mound at Fenway prior to his start there.

Tell DBG to give Theo a call. I hear that he can get Matt Clement on the cheap.

Better yet, call Seattle. Post-season wonder-boy (and former Yankee great) Jeff Weaver should be available.

Take a Look Over at Third

village voice > news > Runnin' Scared: Bring Me the Head of Joe Torre by Allen Barra:

It's being argued that the Yankees can't let Joe Torre go because they don't have a Billy Martin drill-instructor type waiting in the wings to jolt this team out of its complacency. It may be, though, that such a veteran team doesn't need a DI—just a manager who is more of a first sergeant and less of an uncle.

I know it's near heresy, but If Uncle Joe gotta go, wouldn't Larry Bowa be the obvious choice to replace him?

Lots Of Positives

Back to .500.

Five quality starts,

in a row.

and

Nieves got a hit.

Blast From the Past

LeatherPenguin � God Hates Me

From the "What the Hell were you thinking" department...

To me this makes no sense whatsoever.

You've spent untold BILLIONS bringing back KKKlemens and now you're sending this guy down?

What He Said

The Darth Boss George Brigade: Is It Starting To Turn Around?

Rocket Makes it Official

From Darth Boss George's skybox, during a game where pitchers are throwing at hitters... and the Stadium goes fucking nuts.

IT'S "RETURN TO THE ZOO" TIME!

Someone go dig up Billy Martin.

Jesus, they have Clemens listed as a choice for "Player of the Game" and now he's yapping with Kay....

Why Nieves On Sunday?

I just read that Nieves is going to catch on Sunday. If Jor-Ji needs a day off why not give it to him on Saturday when Wang is pitching? On Sunday with Rasner pitching, we're more likely to need more offense and Nieves is even less likely than Minky to help provide it.

Am I the Only One...

who wants Flaherty to STFU?

Is It Starting To Turn Around?

Pettitte worked through trouble, Moose looked good, Mariano looked good, Farnsworth wasn't a disaster.

Hell, Minky even hit one out.

Things just feel like their starting to go well.

Now Kei and if CMW can get us back to .500 and from there something going the sky is the limit.

Think about this RSN, when the Rocket signs and Hughes comes back, the rotation will be Wang, Pettitte, Mussina, Hughes and Clemens. The Yankees might not lose a game in the second half.

Stop The Presses!

This would be comical if the bum wasn't making $40 million for his four year vacation, which comes complete with dugout seats for every game.

We Have a Bastard

The LoHud Yankees BlogBreaking news: Marty Miller fired

Kill him. Right or wrong, take his ass out and hang it on a pike.

SOMEONE gotta pay for all those hammies.

The Fates are Driving Me Insane

PHIL FEELS NO-NO PAIN - New York Post Online Edition

May 2, 2007 -- ARLINGTON, Texas - There's cruelty, then there's what happened last night to the Yankees. Has any 10-1 victory in the team's history seemed so depressing?

There was Phil Hughes, the franchise's future - and from what was evident last night, the present - limping from the mound, the soreness in his left hamstring overshadowing the brilliance he had displayed for 61/3 innings.

The kid was on fire; now he's on the DL. I'm starting to feel like a member of RSN pre-2004: anything that CAN go wrong, WILL go wrong.

Wow!

I know it was only one start and it was against the Texas Rangers, but WOW! Did you see those pitch chart diagrams? Perhaps not, I was stuck with the Rangers home feed tonight. Since I'm in Atlanta, I'm at the mercy of the MLB Extra Innings feed choice. Anyway, according to the graphics I saw, every pitch was on the edge of the zone, none in the middle. I'll say it again, WOW!

Of course, now he'll be joining the rest of the team on the DL.

Did Cashman cut his tongue out?

I think so...

George Steinbrenner stayed silent about Joe Torre's job status following the Yankees' latest loss

Gonna be an A-bomb once it goes off.

Scientists are getting reports of a possible volcano erupting near Tampa Bay

How many more games do the Skanks lose before DBG loses it?
1?
2?
KKKlemens must be looking like this right about now...

The Yankess are a $195M last place team

..owner George Steinbrenner hasn't commented on the slide.

"He won't say anything tonight. We'll see if he has anything to say tomorrow," spokesman Howard Rubenstein said.

Oh, I think I know what he'll say: "GET ME THE ROCKET ON THE PHONE NOW YOU STUPID SONS OF BITCHES!!"

The Rookie Hughes' Lament

How about some RUNS?

Why Is Minky Batting Second?

Okay, I know with Jeter's injury, Mr. Torre is a little hamstrung filling out the lineup card, but come on. Why would he want Minky to have more opportunities to come to bat than Bobby, A-Rod (I think he's earned his rightfull nickname TC, for the time being at least), the Rhoidbino, Matsui, Jor-Ji or Cano (to name a few).

It's past time.

It may not be a walkoff but...

I'll take it

After the fiasco in the Fens Willy Mo redeemed himself. He's got his chance to shine and I hope he makes the most of it. We're still a little bitter about giving up Bo Derek for him.

The Darth THUD! Brigade

Hmm, last place... figure that's gonna cost, what? An extra 2.8 million Rocket bucks? Compounded weekly?

Fuck it, just shoot me and put MY goddamn ass on the DL, too.

Girardi's Available

Full Blown Panic Mode

Desperate Bombers say 'Hughes gotta believe'

So it's come to this: Hughes will be the fifth rookie to start a game this season. At that time, kids who should be down on the farm, learning, will have been thrown into this season's sausage machine for 25% of the games played. Andy friggin' Pettite is the only face Torre seems to trust coming out of the bullpen. It feels like Farnsworth has been banished to some hell dimension on Planet Torre while Vizcaino, Proctor and Bruney are vieing for the title of "first reliever to burn out before the All Star break."

Clemens has gotta be loving this.

If not for A-Hole's torrid hitting, Darth Boss George would have gone full-tilt psycho by now.

Why The Standing Ovation?

Am I crazy. Didn't he give up 5 earned runs over 7 plus innings (and is on the hook for a potential 6th run)? When did giving up 5 or more runs over 7 innings become standing ovation worthy?

UPDATE: 6 earned runs over 7 innings.

Torre Wants Me to Pop an Anuerism

Pettite out of the bullpen?

GIVE ROCKET THE MONEY, NOW!

Did I forget to mention aura?

BANG
BANG
BANG
BANG!

Unto the Breach

This website dies Monday morning. I tried, but I'm tired. I went to the wall; invited Michelle back in!, after warring with her....

I get? Bupkiss.

Take your shots. Unless I know by noon, eastern, on Monday that someone besides Me, Ric, and El Jefe are playing, it ends. And I ain't happy with them.

We can play over at LeatherPenguin. I'll give access as worth it.

If they wanna. At this point I'm riding an almighty "Fuck the world."

UPDATE: still pisse at the world, but hereabouts? not so much.

It's Only April, But...

it's still the Red Sox, so no matter how much I'd rather see the Yanks get their hands on the Mutts right now, I gotta play the cards I'm dealt.

Avoiding a sweep this weekend is all I ask from the Yankees. I think all the pressure is on the Sawx. Their batters are facing a pretty iffy trio of pitchers. You'd be insane to bet on Karstens or Wright handling that lineup, but stranger things have happened whenever these two teams meet. Pettite? I have no idea what Andy is gonna show up tonight. At the beginning of the season he was considered, at best, the Number Three; now he's the Number One. So if one of them can manage to win, I'll be a happy camper.

On the other side, Shilling, Beckett and Dicey have to shut down a batting order that is wicked scarier than anything they've seen so far this season. RhoidBoy seems to be getting into a groove, and having Matsui on the DL hasn't affected the offense at all. And A-Hole is sitting in the four hole, so smoking hot it's goddamn insane.

The Red Sox got to prove they can handle that lineup while the front line Yankee pitchers are not in the equation. If the Yanks manage to win two of the three games, RSN is gonna get freaked. If the Yanks somehow pull off a sweep, the Nation will go borderline mental....

If A-Hole goes bonkers and beats the crap out of Boston's top line pitchers in the process of that sweep going down, Red Sox nation will need fucking therapy. It'll be last August's "Boston Massacre" all over again. They'll all be curled up on the floor in fetal positions, sucking their thumbs and moaning "Why, God? WHY?"

UPDATE: Torre panics, blows it.

I just threw up in my mouth

Is it too early to think destiny?

This is an Odd Feeling

Here it is, the day before the first meetup with the feckless Fenway fuckwits, and for me, it does... nothing. Whereas usually such an occasion would bring forth that sweet mixture of glee, rage and dread in my head, all I'm thinking is:

"Fuck the Sox. I want the Mutts and I want them NOW, while the hitting and bullpen are so smoking hot it don't matter who the hell Torre hands the ball to at the beginning of the game."

It's very weird. I look at the standings and see handing out a beatdown in Boston this weekend puts the Yanks in first place, and while I dig the idea, in my heart I don't really give a shit. I'd much rather see hellfire rained down on the Mutts so my next door Mutt fan neighbor has to shut the fuck up.

Whoa, A-Hole

He's getting to be ridiculous.