Dammit, Where ARE You People?

I can talk to myself quite easily back on my rant shack!

Here, I'll play Linda Richman and feed you a topic:

"The current "A-Team" batting lineup the Yankees will field can just bludgeon to death any opponent, no matter how badly the Yankees pitching may possibly screw up."

Discuss.

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Scranton new Yankees Triple-A affiliate

Single A: I can walk there under a half hour.
Double A: I can drive it round abouts an hour.
Triple A: I can drive that trip in two hours.

Yay Me!

SHE'S BAAACK....

So she sends me this link...

HMM, "type in your own words"... OKAY!
Oh, Hello, Papi!

Gratuitous A-Hole Bashing

ESPN.com: Page 2 : A-Rod's victory speech

Yes, Ric, He IS Officially a Yankee

RhoidBoy? Not so much...
DO IT FOR DONNIE

"I want to win a World Series for Donnie," said Damon, whose Orlando bedroom growing up was decorated by Mattingly posters. "He deserves it for all he has done for this organization. In my opinion, he was a Hall of Fame player with his hitting and his Gold Gloves. Unfortunately injuries cut short his career."

Train Keeps a Rollin'...

BEAST OF THE EAST AGAIN

Yo, A-Hole: Will You Just STFU Already?

"I can't help that I'm a bright person," he said last month. "I know that's not a great quote to give, but I can't pretend to play dumb and stupid."

SI.com - Magazine - Behind A-Rod's tumultuous season

No, A-Hole, you're a fucking idiot; a dumbass squared. The proof is right here in this article. What were you thinking while you were talking to this guy? Did you think this was gonna do you any good, or was it just the idea of getting your mug on the cover, even though you were playing like shit?

It's no wonder Jeter wants little to do with you:

Here is the way Hall of Fame slugger Reggie Jackson, a Yankees special adviser and a member of the franchise's mythological pinstriped society, explained the yin and yang of the Jeter-Rodriguez relationship: "Alex is too concerned with wanting people to like him. Derek knows he can control only things within the area code DJ."

You are so hung up on trying to get everyone to "understand" you that the result is Yankee fans look at you and do NOT see a Yankee, they see another of Darth Boss George's mercs. Which in itself isn't a bad thing, but you seem to be an oblivious, emotionless bastard to boot.

Earlier this month, in recalling the meeting with Torre, Rodriguez said, "Oh, he was real tough. That was the toughest he's been on me."

On the night of the meeting Rodriguez struck out as a pinch hitter to end the game. He whacked the dugout railing with his bat, walked up the runway and into the clubhouse, and picked up a folding chair and threw it.

If Paul O'Neil went through a slump like you were in, no watercooler would be left standing; bat racks would have been turned to kindling. But you? Goddamnit, Torre had to tell you to act like a human and show some emotion, show their was some fire inside. The idea never entered your head until Torre put it there!

Fer chrissakes, the ex leader of the Boston Idiot Brigade, the player formerly known as "Cave Man," is more a Yankee--in less than a season--than you will ever be. Not because of gaudy stats, or babbling to reporters, but because the little bastard is willing to do whatever it takes to help the team win. He doesn't need to tell us his "feelings," we can bloody well see them when he crashes face first into an outfield wall chasing down a ball.

Oh Captain, Our Captain

Not my Captain; that title belongs to Thurman. but still...

"Right now, I think he might be the best player in baseball. There's nothing he can't do, for God's sake," says the Red Sox' 86-year-old legend-in-residence Johnny Pesky, speaking New England heresy. "He's the epitome of a Yankee."

New York Daily News - Captain & The Clipper

BABY BOMBERS GO BACK TO BACK

turn up yer speakers
NY-PENN CHAMPS: Staten Island Yankees

so what's going on with the Big Boys?

Pavassshole Goes Total Fag, Hides Behind His Momma's Skirt

"As a mother it's breaking my heart to see him crucified like this," Anne Marie Pavano told The News yesterday from the family's Connecticut home. "All he wants to do is pitch and be part of the team."

Hey, toots? Cash in your condo! We want the money back so we can dump it on Wang!
Back off my boy: Ma Pavano

Pavano is SO Never Wearing Pinstripes Again

It's not the crime, it's the coverup that screws you up:

Dumbass runs deep in this one

Yankee pitcher Carl Pavano had a secret passenger during his secret car crash in Florida: a sexy model from Queens, the Daily News has learned.

A friend of Pavano's whisked away gorgeous Gia Allemand following the Aug. 15 smashup, which the oft-injured hurler didn't tell his ballclub about for 11 days.

Bad enough that the stupid, useless bastard kept the Yankees in the dark about the crash occurring--that was probably enough to get his ass thrown under the bus--but his first thought was to whisk his hottie from Howard Beach away? To the point of keeping her name out of the police report, and the press conference after he finally 'fessed up?

Jeez, Pavasshole, I can hear your contract being torn into tiny pieces as I'm typing this.... You were more concerned with protecting your latest piece of ass than coming clean with the team paying you ten million a year?

Dude, you have so crossed a threshold Steinbrenner will not stand for.

An Old Fashioned Ass Kicking

Welcome Mat rolls D-Rays

Matsui earned one standing ovation after another after rejoining the lineup for the first time since breaking his wrist May 11 - as the No. 8 hitter, no less.

Sheffield (wrist surgery) is expected back this week after taking some batting-practice hacks yesterday.

As if that's not a scary enough proposition for opposing pitchers, Bobby Abreu, acquired while the two sluggers were sidelined with summer-long injuries, drove in a career-high seven runs, including six in the first inning with a three-run homer and a bases-loaded double.

Jeter to Papi: Bite Me

This Daily News headline is ass backwards:
Jeter won't return Papi blast:

"Derek Jeter didn't seem particularly moved by David Ortiz's argument that the Yankee shortstop's season isn't MVP-worthy because he's got so many talented hitters around him. A day after Ortiz said that Jeter should 'come hit in this lineup, see how good you can be,' Jeter responded succinctly yesterday.

'I don't have to do it in his lineup,' he said. The captain shrugged when asked further about Ortiz's comments, saying, 'I'm not thinking about the MVP right now. We're thinking about winning a division. We've still got something to play for.'

He then added, 'No one here's focused on individual awards.'"

Maybe it's just me, but if Jeet had responded, "no comment" when asked about Ortiz's broadside (which seems incredibly petty--and stupid, considering he's got Manny protecting his ass in the Red Sox lineup or he'd be getting walked as much as King Rhoid) that head would make sense. But Jeter specifically DID respond to Papi's shot.

Speaking Jeter-ese quite fluently, I definitely heard the Yankee captain say, "Tell Papi to go die in a fire. We got a pennant to win; his clown crew is just killing time before playing some early October golf, and he's more concerned about scoring some hardware for his mantle than I'm ever gonna be."

FDNY

Nuff said.

Sox? No Worries. Mutts? Whole Other Story

Aaargh.... They be worrrying me.
EIGHT MEN OUT OF SIGHT

Starting to Seem Like a Machine

New York Yankees : Game Wrapup