Say a Prayer for Bobby

New York Daily News - Yankees - Murcer battles brain tumor:

"Murcer, 60, a Yankee institution as a player and broadcaster for 40 years, had been experiencing headaches and a loss of energy in recent days and, after an MRI on Christmas Eve, the tumor was discovered. It was then decided that he would seek treatment at the MD Anderson Hospital in Houston, one of the foremost cancer facilities in the country."

I liked Bobby as a player, but I love Bobby the broadcaster. He's the Anti-McCarver, especially when a game gets out of hand and he and Michael Kay start getting goofy. There were times when you could practically see Kitty thinking "WTF?"

And when the wire him with a mic during Old Timers' games is some of the funniest stuff, evah.
MURCERIZED!
box seats suck!

A case of natural selection

JIM RICE BELONGS...

If there's any justice, he will be elected along with Cal Ripken Jr. and Tony Gwynn, and Mark McGwire will not.

He did it the right way. McGwire is suspected of taking performance-enhancing drugs. Until McGwire's name is cleared, if it ever will be, he will not receive the support of voters who would rather wait until there's evidence one way or the other.

"So do you think you'll get inducted this time?" Rice was asked after returning to Boston from his other home in South Carolina.

"I don't know the answer to that," he said. "I don't understand the voters sometimes. If you have the numbers to get in, if they compare to other people you've already put in, if the numbers are there, then why aren't you in? Why is Bert Blyleven not in with all of those wins and all of those strikeouts? Why is Lee Smith not in? Goose Gossage? Doesn't he have the numbers to get in? If the numbers are there, then why not? Why are so many people excluded? I never understood it."

Like the DBG Cares

My Way News - Yankees Hit With $26 Million Luxury Tax
Feh. Big whoop. Wall Street pays more for their seats.

Failed DBG Rehab Flaps Dumb Gumbs

George gave you a redemption ticket and you blew it. You're now (you hope) back to being a Mutt schmuck, so keep your mouth shut:
Strawberry: Jeter must 'embrace' A-Rod

Strawberry, a former Yankees and Mets star, spoke after a news conference to announce that Yankees special adviser Ray Negron's book "The Boy of Steel" will be made into a movie. The book tells the story of a cancer patient who became a Yankees bat boy for a day.

...snip...

Rodriguez was booed by fans at times last season, and Strawberry said A-Rod has been treated like "an outsider."

"He's a sensitive guy," Strawberry said. "He's only played in Seattle and Texas. It's not New York. It's a big difference. You don't get booed in Texas. You don't get booed in Seattle when you play there."

Jeter, the Yankees' captain, has been cool toward A-Rod since a 2001 Esquire article.

"Jeter's been blessed with great talent around him," Rodriguez was quoted as saying in the magazine. "He's never had to lead. He can just go and play and have fun. And he hits second -- that's totally different than third and fourth in a lineup. You go into New York, you wanna stop Bernie [Williams] and [Paul] O'Neill. You never say, 'Don't let Derek beat you.' He's never your concern."

Yeah, right, A-Hole... run that shit past Red Sox Nation, where your nickname is "Slappy" and they Photoshopped you wearing a handbag. You never even thought about earning a WS ring till you signed with Jeter's team.

Strawberry was a player development instructor for the Yankees before resigning in February 2004. He shifted to the Mets as a spring training instructor in 2005 and plans on being with them next year.

Resigning? You got told to blow because everyone realized you were only qualified to "develop" talent worthy of the NBA. Willie felt sorry and gave you a rebound paycheck, and you fucked that one up, too.

Crotch Kick Delivered

United Press International - Judith Regan out at HarperCollins

He didn't fire her till she messed with The MICK.

Desperately Courting a Kick in the Crotch

Look, no one is ever gonna accuse Mickey Mantle of being a saint, but this is definitely stepping over a line....

In this town, you fuck with Number Seven at personal peril, bitch.

New York Daily News - Shameful new book pimps Mick

The woman who crassly championed O.J. Simpson's kill-and-tell book is now pushing another blasphemous tale - and this time Judith Regan is taking on one of New York's sacred heroes.

The memory of Mickey Mantle will be sullied by ReganBooks in a "biographical novel" that has the Mick recounting an imagined past replete with pornographic passages and foul jokes.

Author Peter Golenbock admits that much of "7: The Mickey Mantle Novel" - including a steamy scene where Mantle beds Marilyn Monroe behind Joe DiMaggio's back - are based on "not documentable" stories.

"not documentable"... why not just say "I made this shit up"?

Golenbock, who co-wrote Johnny Damon's autobiography [CleanedUp Caveman wrote an autobiography? Why?] and "The Bronx Zoo" with former Yankee reliever Sparky Lyle, makes his reasons for writing this book clear in the prologue, where he imagines himself talking with Mantle.

"Maybe this is the book that will make me rich," he writes. "I'll publish the raunchiest book about you, and my guess is it'll be a smash because no one has ever written a book like this before."

Well, at least the fucker is honest about it. That Murdoch money won't stop him from getting the everliving shit kicked out of him once his face gets recognized around town, though.

You don't tug on Superman's cape;
you don't spit into the wind;
you don't pull the mask off the ol' Lone Ranger
and you sure as shit don't mess with The Mick!

Someone Go Kiss Michele's Ass

I'm too tired to fake that kind of kiss-ass crap....

LeatherPenguin � I Should Not Be Allowed Anywhere Near a Deck When I’m Drunk

This Just In...

ESPN.com - Source: Pettitte returns to Yankees with one-year deal

Daily News, too.

It's a done deal.

Sweet Jesus, Help Me

Pettite? I could live with Benedict Andy coming back (as long as Connor gets his head handed to his fat ass--IN PUBLIC!), but I don't think I can handle "The Return of th Rocket..."

Beyond Igawa, Yankees Consider a Few Others - New York Times

AL MVP

Morneau beats Jeter for the AL MVP! Jeter is denied additional 2006 paperweight for his office.... In other news, scientists predict a 287% increase in whining over the tri-state area.

Henry and Epstein Flip Their Wigs

Well, I guess the "Yankees throw the most money around" meme gets put in the trash can from here on out, since it seems they finished a very distant third in this particular chase:

For $51m, Sox get go-ahead on Matsuzaka - The Boston Globe

$51.1 million, just to talk to the guy? Which means talking to frackin' Boras?

So figure when it's all said and done, signing this one Japanese pitcher, who everyone says looks like the real deal, but he earned that rep playing against who, exactly? Guys mostly sitting somewhere between double and triple "A" status (with maybe a handful of major league level batters scattered about the league)--is going to cost the Sox something north of 90 million bucks!

For ONE guy, who'll be under contract for somewhere between three to five years.

In his most insane moments (RhoidBoy) Darth Boss George at least was betting on a better track record than a hot shot minor league career. The only time he ever went out on a limb remotely like this was... that Fat Pussy Toad.

Baby Bombers: Meet the New Bosses

I went to the Staten Island Yankees event yesterday at the St. George Theatre, expecting to hear all sorts of ra-ra crap and promises for bigger and better whatever. The problem with the team was never on the field, it was always in their office. Whether I re-up for season tickets was gonna be decided by what I heard at this dog and pony show. I was fed up with laying out the dough and sitting in half-filled stands, and basically being ignored for being hard core enough to cough up those bucks.

The previous management couldn't market ice cubes in the frickin' Sahara. Their promotions were pathetic. The Big Team finally bought their asses out, and brought in "the pros from Dover," Mandalay Baseball Properties, an outfit that runs minor league operations across the country and who--more importantly--are part of a Hollywood outfit, Mandalay Entertainment Group, which knows a thing or three about how to sell their products for public consumption.

The "show" opened badly, with Guy Molinari acting as MC, which immediately pissed me off. I liked Guy well enough when he was a politician, but I cannot stand seeing Guy's name or face anymore. He's making huge bank trading off his name these days--like whoring for the NASCAR racetrack proposal--and besides, where the hell had he been before the Big Team took the reins? He helped his paisan Rudy Guliani get the money to build the ballpark, and then didn't do damn near anything to help fill the joint's seats.

Whatever. After all the shucking and jiving was done, I'd decided to buy another pair of seats because, finally, they were joining the Baby Bombers to the boys in the Bronx, for those willing to take the season ticket plunge:

• Priority for Yankees playoff tickets: SI Yankees ticket holders will have priority to purchase New York Yankees playoff tickets before they become available to the public.

• New York Yankees premium game priority: SI Yankees ticket holders will have an opportunity to buy tickets to games against the Red Sox, Mets and other premium games before the general public.

• Old Timers' Game: While the Old Timers' Game in the Bronx has always been a big hit, the fans in Staten Island will be treated to their own version of the event. A second Old Timers' Game will be played in Staten Island, with season-ticket holders receiving exclusive tickets to the game. There will also be autograph sessions for ticket holders.

• Exclusive gifts: The Staten Island Yankees will choose the best giveaway the Bombers have to offer in 2007 and give it to their season-ticket holders, who will receive one gift for every ticket they purchase. Ticket holders will also receive one New York Yankees cap for each of their tickets.

THE BIGGIE! • A day at Yankee Stadium:

Staten Island ticket holders will be invited to attend a Yankees game in the Bronx. The fans will be allowed into the ballpark an hour before it opens to the public, where they can watch batting practice, take a tour of Monument Park and attend an exclusive meeting with Cashman.

If these kind of perks don't draw more true Yankee fans on Staten Island to take the minor league plunge, I don't know what will.

Depending on the Yankee position in the AL East standings, and my subsequent mood on that day at the Stadium, I very well may have my Baby Bomber tickets revoked if I'm allowed close enough to Cashman to kick the little bastard in the balls.

More:
Yankees.Com coverage
The Retreat's typical half-assed writeup


Hey, Jay? I was one of those "hard cases," you mentioned... that crap, along with calling Mrs. Rosemary a freakin' "corporate" entity... I gotta say, if you're gonna do snark, hire me first! No member of the Fingerboard Follies has enough control of the language to pull it off. Not you, skippy, who would put Mike Siani in the football hall found in Canton (based on all your sucking up); you Fingerboard fuckwits make the NY Times look like an open air market of ideas.

"Luke-Warm" Hearted Yanks

It seems that in the wake of the death of would be pilot Corey Lidle, the Yanks proceed with plans to hawk plane flying Santa Claus Yankees! Yay! So is it valvoline that runs throught the cold corporate Yankee heart?

Oh Christ, Not Again

ESPN.com - MLB - Lidle dies as plane crashes into Manhattan high-rise:

"A small plane piloted by New York Yankees pitcher Cory Lidle crashed into a 50-story condominium tower Wednesday on Manhattan's Upper East Side, killing at least four people, authorities said.

Lidle died in the crash."

NYY's Storied Franchise

I stumbled across an interesting article about the founding of the world's greatest sports franchise.... one word that comes to mind - fitting.

Buckle Up! It's Gonna Be a Bumpy Winter

And the madness has already begun. First, the Daily News came out with "sources" claiming Torre was toast; that Darth Boss George wanted him gone and planned to bring back (a la Billy Martin) Lou Pinella, for Sweet Lou's third go-round managing the Yanks.

That particular move made no sense to me, so I considered it highly possible. After all, we're taking about the Bronx Zoo here; sense is quite often an alien concept to this organization (see Johnson, Big Unit Asshole and Pavano, Brittle and Stupid to Boot and... well, pick your fave; there's plenty more examples of crazy moves).

Anyhoo, this morning has the NY Post bannering Joe Won't Go!, claiming they have learned from their own set of "sources" that after mucho soul searching and consultations with his "Inner Circle" and others, including GM Brian Cashman, that Joe won't be going anywhere... yet. There's a presser scheduled for one this afternoon, where this matter will finally be officially put to rest.

For the unitiated, "Inner Circle" roughly translates to The Tampa Mafia, the Yanks' executive suite group of backstabbing bastards housed in the Yankees' Legends Field complex down Florida way. Chief Mafiosi is a clown named Connor, a so-called "pitching guru" who, as far as I can tell, hasn't got anyone he can tout as an example of his "brilliance" at developing (I saw Wang when he played NY/Penn single-A rookie ball for the Baby Bombers here on Staten Island; Connor had nothing to do with that kid. One look and you knew he had the goods fresh off the Taiwan flight) or rehabbing problem pitchers (again, see Pavano, and a couple of others... oh, and your most recent, sage "guru" move, deciding to dump El Duque... that really worked out well, didn't it, you fat hoary-assed fuck!)

Meet The New Boss!
I think ALL these "sources" are members of two factions that are going to have a war before any moves are made this winter, and Torre's status was the opening battle. It's the old guard Tampa Mafia on one side, and DBG's heir apparent, Yankee general partner (and DBG son-in-law) Steve Swindal and his guys on the other side. Swindal is tight with the New York guys, like Torre, Cash, and "Stick" Michael. After last season's playoff implosion, Cashman and Torre demanded the mobsters stop their meddling and backstabbing bullshit--many times through the press, especially Lupica and the other Daily News hacks. Cashman was ready to walk if he didn't get that concession.

DBG agreed, and I have to believe that decision, along with not hanging Torre after the team's second consecutive first round meltdown, was Swindal's doing. Steinbrenner really ain't Darth Boss George anymore. If he was, Torre's ass would have been fired last year. I think the planting of the "Torre's getting canned" story was the Tamp Mafia pushing to regain their juice in the organization, and Swindal smacked them into the gutter the minute he got wind of their latest parlay. While they once had a maddening hold on DBG's ear, Swindal has something way more hardcore when it comes to George: Steinbrenner's daughter is wearing the man's ring. He is family, and DBG has already decided to pass Swindal the crown.

As Drudgiepoo says: Developing....

Let’s Take A Deep Breath

This is a very good line-up; it should not be broken up because of a very small sample in which it underperformed. A bigger problem might be the underlying reason why they didn’t even seem like they showed up in Detroit, but that may have more to do with the manager, and I’ll get back to Mr. Torre in a minute. As I was saying, this team doesn’t need a major overhaul. Sheffield’s option should be picked up to play first base. Who’s better and available? Even ARod should be retained unless he can be traded for young front of the rotation starting pitching. Again, who’s better and available? That would set the lineup as Jeter (he should lead-off), Damon, Abreu, Giambi, Sheffield, ARod, Matsui, Posada, Cano, or some variation thereof. Recent small sample failure notwithstanding, that is a very good lineup and there is no reason that all of them shouldn’t be back for another run.

As for the bench, why not bring back Bernie and Wilson. Bernie played very well this year, especially when he had plenty of rest. Assuming the injury problems that were suffered this year do not recur, he would have enough rest and should be just fine as an elder-statesman reserve, provided he’s willing to play for a fairly small contract. Wilson underperformed this year as a Yankee, but he is a good first baseman, certainly good enough to be a backup and would be a strength as a bench player. The biggest problem next year would be getting Melky the at-bats he needs to continue to develop, but with rotation of the outfield players with each getting rest and Melky filling in at all three positions, he should be able to get sufficient at-bats and keep the other players fresh as well. Now that Matsui’s streak is over, there is no reason he shouldn’t be rested from time to time just like anyone else.

The pitching staff is certainly the weak link on this team. Even that though is not very far away from being a strength. All that is needed is to sign Zito as the number one starter. Push everyone else back one spot and this becomes a very good rotation. The other moves would be to sign Mussina, buy out Wright, let Lidle go and expect Hughes to be called up during the year. Imagine this pitching rotation: Zito, Mussina, Wang, Hughes, Unit (we’re probably stuck with him so we might as well accept it, but he’s not so horrible as a fifth starter during the regular season and should he fail to return to form could be left off the post season roster). Until Hughes is ready, Karstens or Rasner could fill in, and, who knows, Pavano may eventually reappear. The bottom line is that it really doesn’t matter who is the fourth or fifth starter in the rotation during the regular season, the offense will carry the team to a division title. The bullpen could stand to be bolstered a little, but it’s not all that far off either, especially if the starters could provide just a little more length, which should occur with Zito added and Hughes called up.

As for the manager, I think it’s time for him to go and I hope Mr. Torre step’s down voluntarily. After his eleven years in New York, he is widely believed to be a great manager, which is in stark contrast to his reputation coming in. I ask you though is that change to his reputation really warranted or is he actually a reason why this team, with all of the talent that has put on this uniform over the last decade plus, only won four times for him. Should he be praised for the four or castigated? Who knows, but he has certainly never been much of an in-game strategist. His major strength was always his reputed skill in managing the personalities of his star players, but after the team entirely failed to show up at all in Detroit this weekend the question is where was Torre’s renowned player management - I’m not saying they would have won either of those games, but they could at least have shown up to play. If Torre can’t get them fired up to play in the postseason, then there is no reason for him to remain as manager. If he steps down gracefully, we can all remember his time as manager fondly, but step down he should or he should be fired.

As for who should come next, I, for one, hope it’s another Joe. I seem to remember that it was Girardi in the pre-game show of Schilling’s “sock” game who suggested that the Yankees should bunt early and often to make Schilling come off the mound. During the game though, I don’t remember a single bunt and that from our current manager who loves and misuses the bunt so often I can’t even remember all of the times I’ve wanted to throw something at the television during games. Maybe slightly underhanded, but at least it suggests that he would try to obtain every advantage he could. It’s true that Girardi is certainly not a completely tested commodity yet, but he did a great job in Florida this year, and I’d love to see what he can do with the Yankees.

Suckers

BIG FAT FUCKING NOTICE

SHOW'S OVER. GO SPIT AT THE RANGERS.

here's a little Scooter:


THIS SEASON IS OVER


THIS SONG IS OVER....

Burnt Offerings: Round One is The Final Round

Why wait? I demanded annihilation; instead, they forgot how to hit after Damon's rip and then they choked on Kenny Rodgers' ropes.

Everything post-Paulie's goodbye and RhoidBoy being signed, down to saved NY Post and Daily News front and back pages that had been framed and populating my home office's walls; all the various bric-a-brac crap and everything else dating to when everything went totally wrong, are now ashes.

Including those frames, because they can never be used again for fear they carry the playoff losers cooties.

Feh. Wife wants to lock me up.

Retire You BIG Piece of Shit

If that fucking Unit has any honor he will retire after that.

Game three two years in a row.

Disgusting!

Burnt Offerings: Round One

I just knew I was gonna torch him first:

0-4; 3 Ks; loaded bases in the first and can't manage to drive in ONE?

DIAF, A-HOLE

Everything with his face or name has been excised via influenced combustion. After the Mutts won, I went back in the yard and pissed on the ashes.

World Series 2007

Texas Rangers just clinched.

NO PRISONERS!

SI.com - MLB - Jeter's 5-for-5 night leads Yankees past Tigers:

"'We can throw up runs as fast as anyone," said Damon, who had two of New York's 14 hits.

The Darth NO! A-Hole Can Bite Me Brigade

Staten Island Can Always Stomp


Thunders forever
David Jo owes me dough.

An Encouraging Sign?

It won't really show up in the box score (and he was just a little late joining the party in the third), but ARod hit the ball well tonight. Let's hope he keeps it up, balls hit like that are going to find holes.

WOW!

Intangibles? Who the hell needs intangibles?

This guy is the best there is.

Lucky Start

We were lucky to get 6 2/3 from Wang with only 3 runs given up. Too many fly balls, only 11 ground ball outs.

Let's hope the bullpen can seal the deal, despite Myers' failure.

No Excuses; NO PRISONERS!

With Detroit's pitchers having to deal with this lefty/righty nightmare of an All Star batting order:
Damon
Jeter
Abreu
Sheffield
RhoidBoy
A-Hole
Matsui
Posada
Cano

My goddamned dog should be able to go out on the mound as a third starter and be expected to win. Anything other than total annhiliation of the Tigers, followed by the bludgeoning of any other crew--especially the team from Queens--that stands in the way of another Broadway parade will be considered unacceptable.

If you bastards fuck this up it will cause every bit of Yankee ephemera in my possession (not bearing the name, number or likeness of Thurman Munson, Mickey Mantle, Donnie Baseball and Paul O'Neill) to be tossed in my backyard pit and put to the flame.

You hear me? Lately I've only burned the flag I've flown from Opening Day until you were eliminated; this year, I'll torch the whole damn collection, from tee shirts to caps to souvenir bats.

Dammit, Where ARE You People?

I can talk to myself quite easily back on my rant shack!

Here, I'll play Linda Richman and feed you a topic:

"The current "A-Team" batting lineup the Yankees will field can just bludgeon to death any opponent, no matter how badly the Yankees pitching may possibly screw up."

Discuss.

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Scranton new Yankees Triple-A affiliate

Single A: I can walk there under a half hour.
Double A: I can drive it round abouts an hour.
Triple A: I can drive that trip in two hours.

Yay Me!

SHE'S BAAACK....

So she sends me this link...

HMM, "type in your own words"... OKAY!
Oh, Hello, Papi!

Gratuitous A-Hole Bashing

ESPN.com: Page 2 : A-Rod's victory speech

Yes, Ric, He IS Officially a Yankee

RhoidBoy? Not so much...
DO IT FOR DONNIE

"I want to win a World Series for Donnie," said Damon, whose Orlando bedroom growing up was decorated by Mattingly posters. "He deserves it for all he has done for this organization. In my opinion, he was a Hall of Fame player with his hitting and his Gold Gloves. Unfortunately injuries cut short his career."

Train Keeps a Rollin'...

BEAST OF THE EAST AGAIN

Yo, A-Hole: Will You Just STFU Already?

"I can't help that I'm a bright person," he said last month. "I know that's not a great quote to give, but I can't pretend to play dumb and stupid."

SI.com - Magazine - Behind A-Rod's tumultuous season

No, A-Hole, you're a fucking idiot; a dumbass squared. The proof is right here in this article. What were you thinking while you were talking to this guy? Did you think this was gonna do you any good, or was it just the idea of getting your mug on the cover, even though you were playing like shit?

It's no wonder Jeter wants little to do with you:

Here is the way Hall of Fame slugger Reggie Jackson, a Yankees special adviser and a member of the franchise's mythological pinstriped society, explained the yin and yang of the Jeter-Rodriguez relationship: "Alex is too concerned with wanting people to like him. Derek knows he can control only things within the area code DJ."

You are so hung up on trying to get everyone to "understand" you that the result is Yankee fans look at you and do NOT see a Yankee, they see another of Darth Boss George's mercs. Which in itself isn't a bad thing, but you seem to be an oblivious, emotionless bastard to boot.

Earlier this month, in recalling the meeting with Torre, Rodriguez said, "Oh, he was real tough. That was the toughest he's been on me."

On the night of the meeting Rodriguez struck out as a pinch hitter to end the game. He whacked the dugout railing with his bat, walked up the runway and into the clubhouse, and picked up a folding chair and threw it.

If Paul O'Neil went through a slump like you were in, no watercooler would be left standing; bat racks would have been turned to kindling. But you? Goddamnit, Torre had to tell you to act like a human and show some emotion, show their was some fire inside. The idea never entered your head until Torre put it there!

Fer chrissakes, the ex leader of the Boston Idiot Brigade, the player formerly known as "Cave Man," is more a Yankee--in less than a season--than you will ever be. Not because of gaudy stats, or babbling to reporters, but because the little bastard is willing to do whatever it takes to help the team win. He doesn't need to tell us his "feelings," we can bloody well see them when he crashes face first into an outfield wall chasing down a ball.

Oh Captain, Our Captain

Not my Captain; that title belongs to Thurman. but still...

"Right now, I think he might be the best player in baseball. There's nothing he can't do, for God's sake," says the Red Sox' 86-year-old legend-in-residence Johnny Pesky, speaking New England heresy. "He's the epitome of a Yankee."

New York Daily News - Captain & The Clipper

BABY BOMBERS GO BACK TO BACK

turn up yer speakers
NY-PENN CHAMPS: Staten Island Yankees

so what's going on with the Big Boys?

Pavassshole Goes Total Fag, Hides Behind His Momma's Skirt

"As a mother it's breaking my heart to see him crucified like this," Anne Marie Pavano told The News yesterday from the family's Connecticut home. "All he wants to do is pitch and be part of the team."

Hey, toots? Cash in your condo! We want the money back so we can dump it on Wang!
Back off my boy: Ma Pavano

Pavano is SO Never Wearing Pinstripes Again

It's not the crime, it's the coverup that screws you up:

Dumbass runs deep in this one

Yankee pitcher Carl Pavano had a secret passenger during his secret car crash in Florida: a sexy model from Queens, the Daily News has learned.

A friend of Pavano's whisked away gorgeous Gia Allemand following the Aug. 15 smashup, which the oft-injured hurler didn't tell his ballclub about for 11 days.

Bad enough that the stupid, useless bastard kept the Yankees in the dark about the crash occurring--that was probably enough to get his ass thrown under the bus--but his first thought was to whisk his hottie from Howard Beach away? To the point of keeping her name out of the police report, and the press conference after he finally 'fessed up?

Jeez, Pavasshole, I can hear your contract being torn into tiny pieces as I'm typing this.... You were more concerned with protecting your latest piece of ass than coming clean with the team paying you ten million a year?

Dude, you have so crossed a threshold Steinbrenner will not stand for.

An Old Fashioned Ass Kicking

Welcome Mat rolls D-Rays

Matsui earned one standing ovation after another after rejoining the lineup for the first time since breaking his wrist May 11 - as the No. 8 hitter, no less.

Sheffield (wrist surgery) is expected back this week after taking some batting-practice hacks yesterday.

As if that's not a scary enough proposition for opposing pitchers, Bobby Abreu, acquired while the two sluggers were sidelined with summer-long injuries, drove in a career-high seven runs, including six in the first inning with a three-run homer and a bases-loaded double.

Jeter to Papi: Bite Me

This Daily News headline is ass backwards:
Jeter won't return Papi blast:

"Derek Jeter didn't seem particularly moved by David Ortiz's argument that the Yankee shortstop's season isn't MVP-worthy because he's got so many talented hitters around him. A day after Ortiz said that Jeter should 'come hit in this lineup, see how good you can be,' Jeter responded succinctly yesterday.

'I don't have to do it in his lineup,' he said. The captain shrugged when asked further about Ortiz's comments, saying, 'I'm not thinking about the MVP right now. We're thinking about winning a division. We've still got something to play for.'

He then added, 'No one here's focused on individual awards.'"

Maybe it's just me, but if Jeet had responded, "no comment" when asked about Ortiz's broadside (which seems incredibly petty--and stupid, considering he's got Manny protecting his ass in the Red Sox lineup or he'd be getting walked as much as King Rhoid) that head would make sense. But Jeter specifically DID respond to Papi's shot.

Speaking Jeter-ese quite fluently, I definitely heard the Yankee captain say, "Tell Papi to go die in a fire. We got a pennant to win; his clown crew is just killing time before playing some early October golf, and he's more concerned about scoring some hardware for his mantle than I'm ever gonna be."

FDNY

Nuff said.

Sox? No Worries. Mutts? Whole Other Story

Aaargh.... They be worrrying me.
EIGHT MEN OUT OF SIGHT

Starting to Seem Like a Machine

New York Yankees : Game Wrapup

GET READY FOR THE PLAYOFFS

I quit.

Throw Pavano Under the Bus

New York Daily News- John Harper:Crash course in losing patience

During Joe Torre's 11 seasons as manager of the Yankees, his public support of his players has bordered on unconditional. Nobody is more loyal. So nothing was more telling in this latest Carl Pavano fiasco than Torre yesterday essentially saying he'd had enough.

Not that the manager called Pavano a no-good, lying so-and-so, or a $40 million bust. But then, he didn't need to. Lee Mazzilli, who played for him 30 years ago, has always said Torre's withering stare made him feel guiltier for crimes of stupidity than any screaming fit or X-rated diatribe he ever endured from another manager.

So it was yesterday with Torre. In expressing his disappointment and frustration with Pavano, it was mostly Torre's cold, unsupportive tone that indicated he'd run out of patience with the months of injuries and now the strange story of Pavano's mysterious car accident.

He's been a complete bust since they day he was signed to that retarded contract. He's had one, count it, one, succesful season in his career, but typical Yankee knee-jerk fear of him being signed by Boston led the team to heap the BossBucks on his head. Since then he's been absolutely useless. Cut him loose. If you can't void his contract, buy the bastard out and send him packing.

Boston's looking to dump Boomer; I say go get him. You know he's been kicking himself ever since he left, and Epstein can't be a dick about what he wants for him. Bring him back as part of the roster expansion. You cannot go wrong bringing a lefty with a rubber arm.

Die in a Fire, A-Hole... no, Really. Die In A Goddamned Fire

Mike Lupica: Personal hell for Alex is getting worse by the day

His "personal hell"? The sonofabitch is what to this point, 0 for the West Coast? Give me Miguel Cairo, stat! He can't hit any worse, and I don't impulsively want to kill my TV every time I see his face.

But that Bruney guy? Dude! You've drilled more men in retaliation than Clemens did his whole shift in the Bronx.

Bra-fucking-vo!

Things Return to Normal

Wright stunk, the bullpen blew the fuck up, and oh yeah, someone please take A-Hole out back and beat him with his useless bat.

And Miracles Is The Way Things Ought To Be

I’m not talking about the just completed series. I don’t know if I would go so far as to say that a five game sweep, even with this lineup and this pitching staff, was an inevitability, but it certainly wasn’t all that surprising. TC might recall my thought from last week that the drama of this series had been reduced and that now it was about creating separation going into September.

No, I’m talking about the moves made (and not made) at the trading deadline, the development of the pitchers in the bullpen and the three from the farm, and the fact that this team is better than any (and not just the Yankees) I can remember since 1998 (I never dreamed I would be saying that even as recently as one month ago . . . and Matsui, Sheffield and Pavano are still on the DL and still may return this year).

I’m not sure who deserves the credit for the deadline moves, Cashman, the “Ghosts” or our evil overlords at Fox who need the polarizing force of nature that is the New York Yankees to return to the World Series and rescue their bottom line after the anticlimactic and then just plain dull endings to the last couple of years. I’m not sure whether there is any credit to be distributed for the development of Proctor and Villone or if that development was just luck. I’m not sure whether the guys from the farm have grown into the players they have because of the developmental guys in the organization, because the scouts picked gems out of the rough or just luck again.

What I do know though is that everything seems to be coming together, that this team right now doesn’t have any holes and that it appears to be on the verge of getting even better.

Oh Yoo Hoo... Red Sox Nay-tion...

You have now, officially been PWN3D!

In a Weird, Twisted Universe, I May be his Cousin

rough him up....
A Large Regular

Dear Feckless Fenway Fuckwits…

BWAA-HAHAHA-HAHAHAAAA!!

Kick Their Redneck Bastard Asses!

Staten Island Starts Little League Series Quest

Including the disqualified South Bronx team of Danny Almonte infamy, Staten Island is the fifth New York City team to make the World Series since 1964 (three from Staten Island). "Staten Island is part of New York City but we've been like the stepchild," Calabrese's father, Joe, said. "But Staten Island has great baseball."

And we also have an abundance of asshole "adults":

After Steinbrenner gave the Staten Islanders a $5,000 donation yesterday to help pay travel expenses, Johnson ripped The Boss for not giving enough and slammed Yankees and Mets players, namely Alex Rodriguez, for not offering up money or a phone call. Staten Island, the Mid-Atlantic champs, plays its first Little League World Series game today at 1 p.m. vs. Columbus, Ga.

Johnson also was peeved at the Mets' front office for its lack of financial support, but aimed his venom at the Yankees, whom Staten Island officials claim raised $300,000 for the scandalized Rolando Paulino club of the South Bronx that forfeited its victories after it turned out player Danny Almonte was 14 years old.

"For Steinbrenner, $5,000 is throwing dollar bills in the air," Johnson told The Post. "Everything counts, don't get me wrong, but it's disappointing. And A-Rod, he plays $1,000 a hand in poker, he might as well throw $1,000 in our dugout. I don't want Steinbrenner's money. I want A-Rod's money. He's making $20 million a year."

Look, you whiny little good-for-nothing piece of shit, STFU! Don't you dare fucking cry about what some of these families laid out; you are the fucking "Mid Island" team, not the North Shore. Every one of the kids on your squad probably lives in a half million dollar house, has attended some high dollar baseball "camp" or academy or some such... don't you fucking dare scream poverty.

UPDATE: Losing the first game in a round robin is NOT a good thing, you guys.

We Win; They Don't. And Damon Beats Your BooBirds into Submission

Yeah! Formerly Known as "Caveman"

He cleaned up real good.
"'Every time we play this team, it takes on a life of its own, each game," Torre said.
"Every time you looked up, it was the fourth inning. It was nuts."

GIMME NUTS! ALL DAY, AND ALL OF THE NIGHT.

It's On, And We're Going

Wright’s performance on Thursday was not what we needed the day before a day night double-header followed by three games Saturday through Monday. It’s not just the loss (although every game does count the same – the unpopular truth is that even April games count just as much as September games) it’s that Mr. Torre had to go to the bullpen so early and, because the game didn’t get out of reach until later, he burned Villone for two innings (as I said, and I’m talking to you Olney – I’m assuming this is what you were referring to in your ESPN insider article which I didn’t read because I’m not paying extra to read your and your cronies’ B.S. – a win in that game would have counted just as much as that win in the afternoon game today did, plus – was it Casey Stengel who said it? – I believe that you should always play to win today, tomorrow it might rain). In any event, Villone bears some of the responsibility for the O‘s game getting out of hand. The use of Myers for two and a third innings might have been a little puzzling, especially with the certainty of the threat of late inning heroics by “Ortez” (thank you Mr. die-hard Sox fan John Kerry), but someone had to pitch those innings and Myers has been relatively underused. [Funnily enough, just after I started writing this earlier today Myers made an appearance and retired the should be reigning MVP - UPDATE: he did it again in the nightcap].

Now it’s the bottom of the fourth in the night cap. When this half-inning started and the Yankees had their two run lead, I was thinking if Ponson can just get through the sixth, the strain on the bullpen resulting from Wright’s short outing would be completely undone. Well that didn’t happen, but the Red Sox advantage of having a day off on Thursday is now gone and the two bullpens equally taxed (giving the Yankees the pitching advantage for the rest of the series by virtue of their, I never thought I’d be saying this earlier in the season, superior staff) since the Red Sox didn’t get length from either of their starters today.

By the way, while I’m on the subject of bullpens, how about that Brian Bruney, showing something with that dominant ninth in that O’s game. It looks like we’ve found our closer in blowout games.

DBG's Last Good Thing

He looked really old today...New York Yankees News:

"On a bright, sunny day in the Bronx, the Yankees broke ground on the new Yankee Stadium just across the street from what will ultimately be known as the old Yankee Stadium.

The date, Aug. 16, is already famous in Yankees history as the same date on which Babe Ruth died 58 years ago, but it will undoubtedly take on a new meaning after Wednesday."

It's also my birthday, you shitheads....

GERMS, Look what the cat (that would be ME) dragged across the door

The Dangers Of Boredom at hard times... SKILLZY'S in da house!

Can I call him "Mary's ass," while we understand she's a fat farking bitch? I mean, Mary... We already know Skillzy hangs in Soho....

Die in a Fire, You Bastard

A-ROD IS NOW THE BIG HURT

Gmail - Re: [Faster Than the World] New Comment Posted to 'thefinn: Summertime and Music'

Gmail - Re: [Faster Than the World] New Comment Posted to 'thefinn: Summertime and Music'
wtf? do you think that just because im not blogging about the yankees i swtiched teams or gave up? i just decided to not baseball blog anymore. why the fuck is this so important to you.

Isn't that fun? You all remember her, right?

Let's Open the "Fuck Tim McShithead" Thread

"Die, bitch. You'll never go to Cooperstown unless it's on a dayapass."

TO Arms! To Arms!

If they can't defend a shutout, or beat the other team into sleep....

Michael Kay may be crazy

Listen to Michael Kay's crazy rant. He manages to compare jinxing a no-no with beating up blacks and Nazis melting Jews in ovens....

Anyone Got Some Desktops to Spare?

DDOS Fatwa worthy: Cheer ARod.com
You "Hispanics Across America" punta maricone pirates can kiss my black Irish ass.

When A-Hole does something that delivers a ring--or at least an AL pennent win--he comes off the "FUCK YOU" list.

Not one day earlier.

Dear Pennsylvania Refugees

Welcome to the pennant race. I imagine a month or so ago you never imagined you'd be involved in one any time soon, considering your previous crews....

But lemme tell you something: You new guys think the last few days were hot? You ain't seen nuthin' yet. In two weeks it's Armaggedon Weekend: five games in Boston, where the temperture is gonna be a billion freaking degrees, and your mission will be to put a stake straight through the feckless Fenway fuckwits' collective hearts.

Say Goodbye to Sheff

New York Daily News - Yankees - Sheff trying out new glove & smile

Your Bronx sojourn is over.

The Babies..

Staten Island Yankees Alumni Corner

Current crop lost tonight; that's alright. I found out a friend has access to a box where I gets to drink fer free! WHEE!

Tough Shit, Seattle

New York Daily News - Yankees - Yanks' rally holds water:

The two decisions in question were Reilly's failure to call for a rain delay until after the game was already tied in the ninth (despite pitcher J.J. Putz clearly struggling to grip the ball) and, more notably, his safe call on Jorge Posada's one-out grounder to second that preceded Damon's game-tying sac fly.

You have every right to be upset. Still, if you look closely, you can see my index fingers sliding across the nails of my thumbs, playing "My Heart Bleeds for You." In the AL's worst division, you're in last place; the Yanks are in a pennant race. So die in a fire.

PS: Does anyone have access to NYTimes Select? Because it seems A-Hole is the focus of an article that blasts him as a poseur (duh!), and hints that I may need to change "A-Hole to" "Gay-Hole," because of some topless photo shoot he recently posed for in Central Park's "Rambles," a notorious gay hookup site, splayed out on top of a rock all sweatychested in the sun sporting a "Yoo-hoo! Andy Sullivvaaan!" look in his eyes.

It's Betting Time

SI.com - Yankees close ground on the Sox - Red and White:

"The New York Yankees put all shades of Sox on notice this weekend: Don't count out the Bronx Bombers."

Gimme the Tigers

Smacking the crap out of Ozzie's team bores me. I want Detroit, those Beantown assholes, and the Mutts to all get a righteous asskicking so I can finally start to bet like a freaking idiot.

The Morning Will be a Bitch

Thanks God Mo got the save, because all I'm gonna hear about is how the Mutts' reps strutted their stuff.

NYYFANS.COM

I'll admit it... I sometimes troll nyyfans.com in an attempt to put my finger on the pulse of the Yankee Universe (sadly, the Yanks have that term trademarked). I have to say, nyyfans.com is quite terrible. Half of the people that post are whiners and the other half are idiots. If they are not starting threads about how biased ESPN is against the Yanks, the threads will be about big bad columnists slamming the Yanks. Then you will have some moron start a thread about how the Yanks should try to trade for Alex Rios (why someone would think the Blue Jays would EVER do this is beyond me) or some crazy shite like that. I really don't enjoy reading threads that are too analytical ala SOSH, but for Christ's sake man, smarten up guys!

Something I Never Really Noticed

While watching this game tonight, it occurred to me that Miguel Cairo cannot shut up when he gets on base. Base coaches, opposing players, he's yapping his flap with everyone.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AMERICA... and Darth Boss George!

Today we celebrate the Red, White and Blue...and our Benificent Maniac Overlord!

GOD WEARS PINSTRIPES!

Gimme Some Red Meat

GIMME A GOD-DAMNED MAN STEAK!
Sammich Time? Gimme a Bite!

Your dog wants Liberty Burgers... and death to kittens.

... AND DUKE SUCKS!

Dude, I Was thisclose to Liking You

...and considering you're a Mutt, that is damn near heresy.


STFU and take it like a man:

The Yankee third baseman swatted a third-inning slam off Alay Soler that turned a 4-2 deficit into a 6-4 lead. Rodriguez watched the ball, tossed his bat and slapped his hands together in what was a relatively modest celebration compared to some. He also looked into the Yankee dugout, which set off the Mets catcher and nearly started a fight.

"It upset me a little that he threw the bat and looked at their dugout," Lo Duca said. "Me, I'm trying to protect my pitcher and I don't want to see my pitcher get shown up, so I let him know that."

As Rodriguez neared the plate, Lo Duca yapped at him. Rodriguez yapped back, before strapping plate umpire Tim McClelland pushed him away. Jason Giambi, who scored on the homer, then started toward Lo Duca, but McClelland pushed him away, too.

boo-fucking-hoo, asswipe. Your pitcher got "shown up" the minute the bat hit the ball. All you did was show the Mutts still know how to bring the dumb.

PS: what the hell is up with “strapping plate umpire Tim McClelland”? I mean, when did St. Sully start covering sports? Methinks the reporter is paying too much attention to the cut of this ump’s jib.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DARTH BOSS

Danz Family: Rick Monday Saves the American Flag.

OOPS. EARLY

Short Answer? "You wouldn't go wrong if youbetchyourass on that"

New York Daily News - Do you hate this man?

"Hate" is such an, err, impolitic way to put it. Let's just say "I'll happily drive the gas truck that runs him and the Big Unit Asshole over and then explodes when it slides under the bus, even if my ass has to go down in flames as I'm screaming Ackbar de Darth Boss George!"

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DARTH BOSS

Here's the carcass of MacCarver as a present.

OOPS, EARLY.

Paint Me One Shocked Monkey

A-Hole actually hit one when it counted!

But don't think we'll start sending the love your way, punk. Everyone noticed the way you looked into the stands after hitting it. You were like "Well?"

NO, WE ARE NOT HAPPY NOW...DO IT AGAIN, AND AGAIN, AND AGAIN....

Embryo Bombers Deliver Brooklyn Smackdown

The Staten Island Yankees opened their season with a massive 18-0 ass-whupping to the midget Mutts over on Coney Island, then stole a game last night here at home.

And I seem to have a hated rival fan, as some jackass I was ragging on in the stands in Brooklyn the other night appeared before my eyes last night on a beer line. He rolled his eyes, said "oh fuggin Jesus, not you again!"

"Every game they play, skippy," I said. "I'm gonna haunt your goddamn dreams before this season's over."

Wow

New York Daily News - Yankees - Bombers cut Small, Beam up rook

Thinking Out Loud

>>RhoidBoy is friggin' finished as the Yankee first bagger; Uncle Joe would have to be nuts to not play Phillips every day considering the way the "kid" has been performing in the field. He gets his bat together and he is Tino's fitting heir, as Tino was to Donnie Baseball.

>>A-Hole's about one more error or fail in the clutch plate performance away from officially going on Yankee Stadium's shit list and learning what a real Bronx Cheer sounds like. Everybody seems as fed up with him as I've been since....

>>Right now, the Mutts OWN the back pages in NYC. DBG considers that real estate his property, part of the deal when he bought the team. He has watched his squad go through a four game losing streak, struggle to maintain their place in the standings, while the Mutts have extended their NL East lead to seven(?) games.

DBG's due for some kind of eruption.

Trade winds blowing?

While trying to sift through the bog of unsubstantiated trade rumors, one name that continues to float on the surface is Alfonso Soriano. Is the converted outfielder just what the Yankees need? Are the Yankees willing to absorb his salary or are they looking for a cheaper alternative? Is Cashman willing to part with prized prospect Phillip Hughes? Does all of this depend on the outcome of the next series?

Dear Prudence

IT IS OFFICIAL: Coalition of the Darkside: Done

"You're a douche, TC" is pretty much the gist. With a bit of arrogant glee, I gotta say... IT'S ALL ABOUT ME!

None of you other fuckers amount in her account. Turns out, you fuckers never even mattered when she decided to stick an elbow in MY eye and send the Coalition into the pigsty to die.

Think about that, dear DBG minions... when it came down to it, you fuckers were not even on the scale. According to Miss Nibs, "It's all about ME--TC!" Them members of this little community have absolutely NO SAY.

sniff...hand me a kerchief...sniff...
"But what about us?"

"YOU JUST STFU! YOU PEOPLE ARE PISSANTS INVOLVED IN HER DECLARATION OF TERRITORY...
DON'T YOU FUCKING GET IT? SHE WRITES HOT!

TC needs to get taken to his KNEES!"

Everything with you is all drama and tirade.

You'd need a fuckin' battalion of JewBoy Guido assholes to lay a glove on me, Garden City. There is no way on God's green Earth you-or anyone associated to you--could ever make me do a heavy breath.

rimshot!
Okay. Let's explain it, and get to the tasty bits...

I sent you an email because it was the proper way to handle it. Not to get into another one of your public displays of ridiculous anger.

Umm... you sent me an automail. And, Esqueeze me? Those displays are how I play, okay? You've known for fuckin' years that's the way I play. You've on and off banned me from ASV precisely because of that exact tendency.

And yet you gave me admin status at Coalition, despite what you now call my (I'm imagining YOU'RE imagining this shit-to-the-whirlwind will fly) major moral slights.

Dead people know I'd probably flip on such shit; I'm a dick.

I tried to tell you what was going on on my end, but you wrote me back with one of your patended, nearly unintelligible tirades telling me that your problems were worse than mine.

It's "PATENTED".... And what I wrote back was, "My life sucks, too. So shut the fuck up and suck it up."

Or something like that.

Here's her original e-mail response to my rant on the Darkside:

Nice of you to talk about me - and "the turtle" in the comments. You know, you could have emailed me. Instead you left your usual pissed off type of thing in one of the posts on the new site. I've been waiting for an email, but i guess you'd rather just bitch about me in comments instead of actually approaching me about anything. I would have explained a lot to you if you just asked me outright, and without being belligerent about it.

Hello? Knowing me--TC (as much as one can from this electronic crap), what in Jeebus's weeping-into-his-VIRGIN-Mother's-Arms... after Her Kid's Head had been cut off at the neck and declared a "prophet of Islam" and tucked into a box of chocolates... WHAT makes ANYONE BELIEVE MY KIND OF CRAP COULD BE UNEXPECTED?

(long, deep, cleansing breath... now grasp the Colt 40)

Toots, all you had to do was say you wanted out. I've previously offered my own server space to house the Coalition stuff--hard core corporate servers, where "bandwidth" means shit--so don't play that shit card on a table where you sit across from me.

BTW: You LI record listening, hair cut wearing fuckers wouldn't know Punk if it bit it in your face...

don't think you can game me; I'm better than you.

... it wouldn't surprise me though if, in the next day, that's exactly what you would say....

Have fun as a Wizbanger!

You sold the Darkside out.

Go say "Hello!" to Pedro.

What Do I Call These Guys Now?

Considering what's going down up in Da Bronx, should they be called
The Embryonic Bombers?

The Darth Boss George Brigade

Tell me, some more, how me BOUGHT success:
1B: FARMHAND (mattingly's project)
2B:FARMHAND (go, go ROBBO!)
3B: HIRED GUN
SS: STRAIGHT TRADE/PICKUP
LF: FARMHAND (got Melk?)
CF: HIRED GUN
RF: FARMHAND (Burn, Bernie!)
Catch: FARMHAND ("call me Georgie")
Start: FARMHAND (trans: "Staten Island was a gas..")
Save: FARMHAND ("I just throw, man. wasn't Manny a dick?")

FARM WINS!

4 Game Series

Well, looks like I picked one hell of a week to stop sniffing glue.... here we go... Red Sox/Yanks. Tonight the Sox send the fiery Josh Beckett to the hill against the iceman, Mike Mussina. The way that these two teams play one another, odds are the series will finish with a split. However, to be honest, I do not want to see "good baseball." I want BLOOD. Let's hope that this week, we fans get what we all know we really want - a brawl.

Sweet Jeebus, Here We Go....

IT'S ALIVE!