Desperately Courting a Kick in the Crotch

Look, no one is ever gonna accuse Mickey Mantle of being a saint, but this is definitely stepping over a line....

In this town, you fuck with Number Seven at personal peril, bitch.

New York Daily News - Shameful new book pimps Mick

The woman who crassly championed O.J. Simpson's kill-and-tell book is now pushing another blasphemous tale - and this time Judith Regan is taking on one of New York's sacred heroes.

The memory of Mickey Mantle will be sullied by ReganBooks in a "biographical novel" that has the Mick recounting an imagined past replete with pornographic passages and foul jokes.

Author Peter Golenbock admits that much of "7: The Mickey Mantle Novel" - including a steamy scene where Mantle beds Marilyn Monroe behind Joe DiMaggio's back - are based on "not documentable" stories.

"not documentable"... why not just say "I made this shit up"?

Golenbock, who co-wrote Johnny Damon's autobiography [CleanedUp Caveman wrote an autobiography? Why?] and "The Bronx Zoo" with former Yankee reliever Sparky Lyle, makes his reasons for writing this book clear in the prologue, where he imagines himself talking with Mantle.

"Maybe this is the book that will make me rich," he writes. "I'll publish the raunchiest book about you, and my guess is it'll be a smash because no one has ever written a book like this before."

Well, at least the fucker is honest about it. That Murdoch money won't stop him from getting the everliving shit kicked out of him once his face gets recognized around town, though.

You don't tug on Superman's cape;
you don't spit into the wind;
you don't pull the mask off the ol' Lone Ranger
and you sure as shit don't mess with The Mick!