TC's LP feed

Because SOMEONE needs to defend our sometimes psychotic Overlord....
And Mutt fans are Assholes who need to be stomped dead in their beds

Friday, March 30, 2007

Further Proof God Hates Me Lately

First, he arranges it so Punkass will be the Opening Day pitcher. Now this...
Just days away from the most important game of his life, much-maligned Yankee pitcher Carl Pavano has been given the hook - by his gorgeous girlfriend.

Allemand insisted she doesn't want to cause any headaches for Pavano. She'll still be in Las Vegas when the Yankees take the field in The Bronx against the Tampa Bay Devil Rays Monday.

"That's our personal life. I don't think it needs to be in the paper," she said. "I don't want this to distract him at all."

Riight. That's why your spilling to the fucking King of Page Six; to keep it off the radar!

About that A-Hole "Anti-Boo" Site

Is A-Hole Astroturfing a Plea for Web-based Yankee Fans Sympathy?

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Dead Man Walking

If I'm Swindal, Costa Rica is lookin' mighty inviting...
Steinbrenner's daughter files divorce papers
"I'm the Boss. I continue to be the Boss," Steinbrenner said Wednesday in a statement issued by spokesman Howard Rubenstein. "I have no intention of retiring, and my family runs the Yankees with me."

Who's the new Boss?...

Steve, DBG is gonna tear you apart, spit out the pieces, and dance a jig on the remains.

There's only ONE way out of la familia Steinbrenner: pine box.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

"Let me tell you something, son..."

My dad chimes in.

My grandpa was a Triple-A infielder back in the '30's so he knows of what he speaks.

Ok TC- Now be honest...

It was you that started the Anti-Boos Movement wasn't it....

Monday, March 26, 2007

CHB Is At It Again....

Curious as to why established sports writers are growing increasingly irrelevant as blogging flourishes? Meet Dan Shaughnessy, a.k.a. CHB (Curly-Haired Boyfriend)... intent on getting the last word in his little feud with Curt Schilling, his latest article not only manages to come across as extremely childish in his attempt to ridicule Schilling, but he also manages to insult thousands of internet users/commenters, steroetyping them as basement dwelling fanboys. So how are those Globe subscriptions doing anyway?

Sunday, March 25, 2007

If This Be True, We Be Doomed

God Hates Me

Pavano likely to go Opening Day

the sniper rifle... who the fuck did I sell the sniper rifle to, in that moment of madness?

Saturday, March 24, 2007

So Ugly I Want To Cry...

Imagine waking up to this mug every morning and smelling his dragon breath?
Nice Milwaukee eye, asshole.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Captain Obvious Arrives in Clearwater

Papelbon to return to Red Sox bullpen as closer

I could never figure out why they waited this long, or by whose logic putting Timlin in the spot and moving Papelbon into the starting rotation made any sense. As a rookie Papelbon was a monster coming out of the bullpen, and the injury worry reasoning was idiotic; put the kid on a strict, intensive offseason workout regime, dial it down but keep him on it during the season (and don't overwork him) and the problem's fixed.

Timlin wasn't gonna bring the fear to anyone trotting in from the bullpen looking to slam the door. The kid? Totally different story.

I wonder how long it will take before I loathe seeing Papelbon's face?

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Cash to A-Hole: "Wanna Walk? There's the Door" - Writers - Jon Heyman: Cashman says no extension planned for A-Rod
"He has a significant contract as it is," Cashman told "So I don't anticipate any dialogue regarding an extension."

In other words, Cashman is leaving the ball in A-Rod's court. If Rodriguez wants to remain a Yankee and keep the $81 million and three years remaining on his contract, he can do that. But if he wants to forego that $81 million to seek even greater riches, that's his choice, too. He just won't be getting those extra riches in pinstripes -- at least not this winter.

NY Postie Kevin Kernan recounts a conversation he had with Cash about A-Hole yesterday that pretty much matches my own thinking:
Alex Rodriguez is as good as gone. I've been saying that since word first surfaced about his opt-out. The Yankees know what's going on and that's why when I mentioned to Brian Cashman yesterday that probably, the best way for the Yankees to look at this entire scenario is that A-Rod is essentially a free agent after the season, and like all free agents, he will try to have a great "walk year,'' - which is good for the 2007 Yankees, Cashman answered with one perfect word.

"Exactly," the GM said.

When A-Hole did his "soul-baring" bullshit concerning his strained relationship with Jeter, I rolled my eyes and hoped that he'd just STFU and GBTW. But then he went on the Mike and the Mad Dog show and tried claiming his Pinstripe future in Cash--and the fans'--hands, saying, "At some point either New York is going to say, 'I've had enough of this guy, get him the hell out of here,' and we have an option, or New York is going to say, 'Hey you know what, we won a world championship, you had a big year, you're a part of it, we want you back,'" Rodriguez said. "I also want to make sure that from the fans [and] management that I'm wanted here."

To which I naturally replied, "Go die in a fire."

So what will this mean for the coming season? Well, as Kernan predicted--and Cashman agreed with--look for A-Hole to go out and put up the gaudiest numbers he can possibly produce to up the price he'll get when opts out of his contract. If that occurs, at some point in late July/early August, Cashman will decide to bite the bullet and offer and extension, but not for more than the $27 mill per year due if A-Rod actually wanted to honor his contract and stay, which uber-agent Scott Boras will laugh at, considering how retarded the market price would be if A-Hole went fishing in the free agent lake.

Then, a Duracell (or at least "Nickels & Dimes") Downpour coming from the Stadium seats aimed at third base would become a distinct possibility, and even if the Yanks wound up winning the World Series, and A-Hole was named Series MVP, he'd still be history, because Cashman's made it clear he won't get involved in a bidding war. A-Hole would also be dead meat, a marked man with a bullseye superimposed on him from his head to his ass if he was stupid enough to ride in an open car during the Canyon of Heroes victory parade, because as Kernan noted at the end of his column, among Yankee fans A-Hole is a talented, self-centered asshole, who's never, ever, gonna get the love he seems to think he's due.

And Darth Boss George would have it written into his will that A-Hole could NOT wear a Yankee cap on his Cooperstown plaque.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

You know? I coulda swore...

that you got rid of the fucking Hillbilly. Apparently not.

Maybe it's time for Puddin' and Pie to make the Kall to Koerce Klemens.

"Manny, Get Over Here Now!"

In a certified "Manny being Manny" moment, Red Sox left fielder Manny Ramirez is selling a gas grill on eBay. Ramirez will tack an extra $70 on to the winning bid for shipping cost.
And he'll throw in an autographed ball!

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Verducci Hates the Yankees!!!

Here is the newest article summarizing why the Yankees will not win the World Series.... somewhere, right now, there is a NYYFAN.COMer screaming his typing fingers hoarse about the YankeesBias (probably trademarked by now...) Excuse me while I go puke.

Stirring the Pot


I liked this bit:
When you spend time around these Yankees, you realize they have loosened up from years past and most of that is due to Damon and Giambi establishing their personalities in the clubhouse. In turn, that has helped bring out more of Jeter's personality.

"Now he's got two idiots to take the pressure off of him," is the way Giambi put it.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Yes, I'm That Guy

Hmmm, all the parade's are over... turn on the...YES Network!... Game Four, 1998 World Series....

A Swig for Ricky Ledee. "Banged Around" Brown getting banged around! "I'm Too Dumb to be Allowed To Speak" McCarver claiming Bernie will "obviously" go free agent (like Darth Boss would ever allow it...) And who is this little bottle with "Glen" in its name laying naked before me?....


Thursday, March 15, 2007

Bowie Bows Out

Former MLB commissioner Bowie Kuhn dead at 80 - International Herald Tribune
"I want it to be remembered that I was commissioner during a time of tremendous growth in the popularity of the game," he said, "and that it was a time in which no one could question the integrity of the game."

He presided over the MLB when everything changed.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Die in a Fire, A-Hole... no, Really. Die In A Goddamned Fire

Six hours was all it took for Alex Rodriguez to backtrack like an All-Pro cornerback.

At about 4 o'clock yesterday Rodriguez strongly hinted this would be his final season in The Bronx. At 10 p.m,. A-Rod said he was simply overmatched by WFAN hosts, Mike Francesa and Chris Russo.

SHIT! We were ready to give you a pass this year.

So much for that idea.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Shows What I Know

This was my last post here. Well, I wasn't too far off on the lineup and I still think a transplanted Sheff would be a better choice at first than what the Yankees currently have. I was dead wrong on the rotation though and I have to say that I like the current rotation much better. I'd much rather have Pettitte than Zito and anyone than The Unit. And, TC hatred for him notwithstanding, I look forward to the day that the other forty-something future hall of fame pitcher signs his part year deal and takes Bob's number. He should be peaking just around the time it really counts.

As for the manager. Let's just hope the starters can pitch enough innings to minimize the need for him to make strategical decisions.

BOW, You Ronin!

News: Major League Baseball News: "MATSUI? HUGE JAP"

I'm looking for the video, but the Boston Japs were ducking way lower than Godzilla when they were all doing the bowing crap at home plate.

"That's right, grasshoppers... I own you fuckers! WELCOME TO THE BRONX"

Oh, and since Igawa wasn't invited to the Shiatsu woop-de-doo... Scranton, Gaigin!

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Signed, Pavano's mother

Get the women and children indoors! Too late...

"The reason I left, my girlfriend had a severe medical condition and I had to be with her," Pavano said.
Starring Joe Torre as Mister Kotter in Welcome Back, Pavano...

And I thought Carl Everett was a problem child.

Not Enough

Ok, it's hockey, not the Yankees, but the punishment handed out to the Islanders' Chris Simon is insufficient. Maximum time he'll serve if the Islanders go the limit in the playoffs is 43 games. Minimum is 25 games. For attempting to decapitate someone. He could have killed the guy with the way he swung the stick. Could have connected in the Adam's Apple, and that's all she wrote. Ban him for a minimum of one calendar year, with reinstatement conditional upon approval by the league. That's justice.

Friday, March 09, 2007

Full Tilt Asskissing Underway

New York Daily News - Yankees - Bob Raissman: On Clemens, a resounding YES
On Wednesday night, the Yankees Entertainment & Sports Network was scheduled to air an exhibition game between the Bombers and Reds. Instead, the network presented its tribute to Roger Clemens.

Just a coincidence...not!
March is the time for this sort of baseball fantasy. And who better to present it than the suits at Al Yankzeera? Schooled in the art of propaganda, they know just how to stoke the mental fires. In the course of six innings, Al Yank tantalized any Yankees fan panting to see Clemens back in pinstripes. They also produced a Rocket recruiting video the bozos in Boston and Houston never will duplicate.

It started even before Clemens' pal, Andy Pettitte, threw the first pitch. YES' camera was right on Joe Torre greeting Clemens. The manager was careful to also warmly welcome Koby. What better way to make a dad feel great than by treating his son like royalty?

St. Joe ain't St. Stupid, right?

From the NY Post:
It was there that Joe Torre, Derek Jeter, Ron Guidry, Reggie Jackson, Yogi Berra and Larry Bowa chatted with Clemens, who was on hand to see buddy Andy Pettitte pitch in last night's 1-1 tie with the Reds. Yet, Clemens' presence at the park created images of the Rocket's re-entry into the Yankees' universe.

After watching Pettitte work three innings, Clemens visited with George Steinbrenner in the Boss' suite in the home sixth.

"I was here and I wanted to say hello," said Clemens of the three-minute meeting that preceded him doing an inning on YES.

Asked what The Boss said to him, Clemens replied, "I will pass on that one."

Shit, I can reconstruct that conversation:
DBG: "How much, Roger?"
Clemens: "I'll tell you in about two months, Boss."
DBG: "And I'll give it to you, son. You can take that to the bank."
Clemens: "I fully intend to, sir."


Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Someone Post Something or I'm Picking a Fight With Da Chief

boring, boring... "look! Pavano's ass asploded!"

and Mo wants a hundred billion.

and he's so ready for it.

Monday, March 05, 2007

Yipee! New (Old School) Blood

All We Need Now is that Long Island Chick

glance to the right side of the screen...

Saturday, March 03, 2007

The Only Thing Good in Queens

Jackson Heights

swear to G, this ain't me. And I had nuthin' to do with it.

But I can't speak Spitalian, either.

and I don't know nuthing about that DEA crap...

except "Superserious Godhead."
That one, yeah... I'll bite the bullet; I made it up. Donutz says he wrote it, but most of it... I just shittied it from my lips.

I always admired "bi-cameral."

I'm SO gonna get shot when the sun comes up and we do the Paddy's Day Parade.

YouTube - Trace Adkins - Bugs Bunny - Swing Batter Swing

YouTube - Trace Adkins - Bugs Bunny - Swing Batter Swing

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Teh Funny


You Started This...




find me El Jefe. He owes me a case of IPA.

UPDATE: I'm officially over the wire; I came home, turned on the TV, and immediately called up "Yogi and a Movie."