TC's LP feed

Because SOMEONE needs to defend our sometimes psychotic Overlord....
And Mutt fans are Assholes who need to be stomped dead in their beds

Sunday, December 30, 2007

My Heart Says "Yes"; Brain? "Not So Fast"

ESPN - Debate: Is Tim Raines a Hall of Famer? - MLB

I really don't know, if I had to pull the trigger, cast a ballot, whether I could vote against him, but there's a thing in my head screaming, "GOD-DAMN-NAMBIT! REALLY GOOD IS NOT THE RULE. THEN WE GOTTA RE-LOOK DONNIE AND THIRMAN."

Thursday, December 27, 2007

You Bet Your God Damn Ass He Is!

ESPN - Debate: Is Goose Gossage a Hall of Famer?

None of this "three outs" to earn a save shit. Most of the time Goose had to shut the door for three frickin' innings.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

An Errant Thought

With what number will Manager Little Joe go?

"25"?

PLEEEZE.
"Okay, RoidBoy, hand the fucking number over."

Monday, December 17, 2007

And England's Dreaming....

NO FUTURE.
this is your Sheffield Steel:


Note the little Red Sox Nation, finger waving tyke towards the middle. He's gonna grow to beat the shit out of Manchester United's entire fan base, and then work his way north.

Or just rule Southie like Curley never could.

I LOVE that kid.

Hot Air » Blog Archive » British Muslim woman: I need a new hymen ASAP or they’ll kill me

Saturday, December 15, 2007

What Shill Said

Talking to Mitchell Not Worth It for Schilling - Bats - Baseball - New York Times Blog:
I worry that not every name in the report is not a user, but how do we know which ones outside of the players who had specific evidence and testimony did it?” Schilling asked. “I mean Brian Roberts’s name was included, and I think people everywhere assume that, since he’s on the ‘list’ of names ESPN presented, he’s one of the guilty ones? If you read the report, his name was included because Larry Bigbie told the Mitchell investigators that Brian mentioned to him that he’d tried it. Is that right? I don’t think it is.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Integrity of the game

I fully believe that the report on MLB substance abuse was a way for Used Car Bud to say, “Let’s let bygones be bygones and go forward.” Well, Buddy-boy, I say that’s too little and too late. You’re worried about the integrity of the game, huh? Then where were you in ’98 when your ascendancy was crowned with your being named Commish? You turned your back on the game. It was going on right in front of you and you chose not to act. Well, that was until congress got involved.

If you’re worried about the integrity of the game then I say this: resign. The Mitchell report was done to put the steroid era behind us. With that you should go to. As my Navy buddies always tell me, “The captain goes down with the ship.” Well, Bud-a-roo, you should go off into the deep blue sea powered by that report.

“But wait, El Jefe, who should be the next Commish?”

Glad ya’ asked ‘cause here’s two proposals: an elected commissioner by BOTH the players and the owners and one selected by fans by voting online

For the player/owner proposal:
1. Each team’s owner gets a vote
2. Each team’s player rep gets a vote

The candidates could be volunteers or chosen a la jury selection. Each side has ‘x’ number of potentials and each can have a number of ‘challenges’.

For the fan voting proposal:
1. Register as a candidate with your resume and statement of work on MLB.com
2. Fans register to vote and can only vote once

Yeah, there’s holes in each but just having the owners select the commish NEVER has the best interests of the game at heart OR mind.

A-Hole Throws Boras Under a Bus

The LoHud Yankees Blog | A-Rod: “It was a huge debacle”

I'm Shocked, SHOCKED! I Tell You!

ESPN - Source says information on Clemens will be in Mitchell's report - MLB

Giamroido, Clemens, Pettite, and....
Also, The Bergen (N.J.) Record, citing a baseball industry official, says "several" prominent Yankees will be named in the Mitchell report. The paper said the source spoke to a third party who had seen the final report.

"It's going to be a rough day in the Bronx," the paper quoted the source as saying.

I can't wait to see who is on the list; with all this third-party hearsay leaking out, it is gonna really be interesting to see if Mitchell's report actually offers harder evidence than just "according to Joe Blow...."

But if there are no Red Sox, Mitchell--a Red Sox director--will get crucified for whitewashing "his" guys while attacking the Evil Empire.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

What if I Lend You a Gun?

Then will you fuck off and die?
Pavano Weighing His Options -- Courant.com

Sayonara, God-Zirra?

MATSUI MAY 'WAIVE' BYE:
"With Johnny Damon in left and Jason Giambi as the designated hitter, Matsui's playing time would be reduced and could be the reason he wouldn't stand in the way of a trade. In order to approve a trade, the 33-year-old, who is owed $26 million across the next two years, could seek an extension from the Giants."


I've got this niggling thought: could the whole Giant thing be a fakeout? Could the Yanks really be putting a package together featuring Matsui--instead of Melky--and one of the Golden Children (plus farmhands) to snag Yohan?

I have absolutely nothing to base this on, but I cannot believe the Yanks are just walking away from the Santana sweepstakes. I also believe, based on things I've read, that Santana will NOT waive his no-trade unless the trade lands his butt in da Bronx.

Seriously, if you're Yohan, do you want the Green Monster looming over your shoulder for half the season?

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Thank God for the YES network...

Otherwise Carl Pavano's $40M minor league contract would be hard to swallow. C'mon! FOUR TIMES the Marlins payroll for a minor leaguer?

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

I'm Spitting on Their Plaques

The idea that Bowie Kuhn, Dick Williams, and that douchebag O'Malley are in The Hall, and guys like Whitey Herzog, Bert Blyleven, Jim Rice, Goose, Marvin Miller and Billy Martin are not is turning this entire election process into a goddamn joke. Bowie Kuhn was the dirty rotten SOB who was willing to go along with Ford Frick's idea to put an asterisk next to Roger Maris's name and treated Hank Aaron like dirt, fer chrissakes! O'Malley tore Brooklyn's heart out, leaving a stain on that borough's soul that to this day hasn't been washed away. And Dick Williams? You gotta be shitting me! Anyone who thinks he was a better manager than Billy or Whitey is just fucking ignorant.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Tick, tock

Screw, don't do it. Let the fuckin' Sawx have him or wait till next year.
SI.com - MLB - Yankees set Monday deadline for Santana deal

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Mitt Romney Fails Math; Exposes RSN Wannabes

Will RSN Revoke His (self-claimed) Membership Card?

Duuude... don't even try playing baseball with Rudy. He'll eat you alive. Saying "Yankees Suck!" earns you nothing.


Seriously, how long did this jagoff write "Resident: MA" in his résumé? This guy lived in Mass for what? A dozen or so years? I do know one thing: Rudy knowswhat it means, back then, to say "1918."

Monday, November 19, 2007

Suzy is Off the Hook

Hawkins and Gage were the only two members of the Baseball Writers Association of America to cast a vote for someone other than A-Rod in the MVP race, and they both went with Ordonez.

"I saw Magglio play every day," Hawkins said. "What I saw was a player having an MVP year. I have no quarrel with anyone who voted for A-Rod. He also had an MVP year. But with the injuries the Tigers had and the effort and performance I saw from Magglio, there's no question he had an MVP year."

Gage uttered much the same belief.

"I went with what I saw," he said. "So many times, you have to vote off the stat sheet. I fully expected A Rod to win. He had a great year. But I saw an MVP year. There were stats to back up the impression that I came away with from the regular season."


A-Hole carried his team through a total pitching meltdown early in the season; your chump got dumped by the Indians.

Classless.

The Ultimate Homers

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Sorry, Grandpa...I shoulda known better

So, how much is the Prince of New York going to get away with?



I would've thought he'd have learned something from his Granpa in Chicago...

Is there not a family resemblance?

Thursday, November 15, 2007

He is SO Going to Jail

Kiss Cooperstown goodbye, Captain Asterisk.
Federal Grand Jury Indicts Barry Bonds

You have to believe the Feds wouldn't file unless they believe they have a bullet-proof, dead-to-rights case against King Melon Head of Roidersville.

The Smoking Gun is there with the 'E-filing' indictment goodness.

See You Down the Road, Mo

Eat shit and Die In A Fire:
FOX Sports on MSN - MLB - Sources: Rivera wants 4th year in deal:
"The Yankees remain the overwhelming favorite to retain Rivera. No other club is expected to even approach their proposal, much less top it. But Rivera, who turns 38 on Nov. 29, has instructed his agents to shop him, in part because he was angered by Hank Steinbrenner referring to his age in recent comments about the Yankees' offer, a source says. Rivera has specifically mentioned following Joe Torre to the Dodgers, and his agents also are contacting other clubs about his availability. Rivera, sources say, believes he deserves the same length of contract as Yankees catcher Jorge Posada, who is on the verge of re-signing for $52.4 million over four years, and Mets closer Billy Wagner, who received $43 million over four years after the 2005 season."


Really... go fuck a coconut. The third year was free money, and you think you deserve a fourth?

Welcome Back, You Sniveling Prick (Updated)

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A-ROD PLEA: TAKE ME BACK PLEASE

Rodriguez made the short trip from Orlando to Tampa yesterday and met with the Steinbrenner family and Yankees officials at Legends Field where, according to Hank Steinbrenner, the soon-to-be-named AL MVP informed the club he wants No. 13 back.

“Alex, at this point, wants to be a Yankee and is willing to make sacrifices," Steinbrenner said. “Apparently he has had a change of heart so we will see. He reached out to us through a third party and it appears he wants to be a Yankee."


The Post's Vacc:
All you hear, relentlessly, is that the fan's voice doesn't matter, that it's ignored, that it's irrelevant in our sporting world.

Mostly, that's true.

Just not this time. Alex Rodriguez heard you. He felt your wrath. He absorbed your scorn. If negotiations with the Yankees head where it appears they're heading - with Rodriguez returning, with the Yankees scoring a major coup against Scott Boras, bringing A-Rod back on their terms - then you are allowed a moment to stand up and take a bow.


Take a bow? My ass! His John Hancock on a contract ain't gonna do nothing to abate the absolute contempt in which we will hold that little shit.

Understand something, A-Hole: we are not merely gonna boo you like you've never heard before; ask Reggie about having to duck coins getting hurled at you on your home field because we, who pay your fucking salary, perceive you to be an absolute douche who only cares about the money. In his case, we threw silver; you get copper, cocksucker. "Pennies from Heaven," bitch. You're gonna have to top last year's start just to make us let up a little bit.

You hear me, Slappy? You have no understanding of what kind of world of shit you are in for if you don't deliver that 27th ring this year. After this clusterfuck you and Boras made us endure, you better pray to God and hope to hell he's listening, because so help me, if there is no World Series flag getting hoisted on Opening Day 2009, in the spanking new House That Darth Boss George Bought, you're gonna need a football team of shrinks to deal with the crap we will heap on your psyche.

OH CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN says:
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"Kid? Remember: you buy the ticket, you take the ride.... but Jesus Christ on a crutch, I wouldn't want to be you this winter. You might as well just get it over with and change your name to "Mea Culpa" right now and maybe the Bleacher Creatures will let you live... but not that bitch you call your wife. She's toast."

UPDATE: I said something along these lines either here, or at the other joint:


More than anything, it apparently was the very public and seemingly ironclad dismissal by Hank Steinbrenner after the opt-out that made A-Rod begin to re-think his willingness to let Boras once again dictate the direction his career would take.

"That's why he called me, to ask if Hank was serious about closing the door on him," a second person said yesterday. "From what I gathered, Boras had been telling him not to worry about what Brian Cashman was saying about the opt-out, partly because they knew they had George on their side.

"But then Alex saw the shift in power, with the Steinbrenner sons taking over, and here was Hank saying 'Goodbye, we don't want you if you don't want to be a Yankee.' Those words really messed with his mind because he really did want to be a Yankee."

MEET THE NEW BABY BOSS!
NOT LIKE THE DARTH BOSS!

Everybody, Sing!

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

I Can Breathe Again

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POSADA'S HEART BACK IN PERFECT PLACE


Because the heart of the team is returning, because Jorge Posada is returning, a four-year, $52 million deal all but done that will likely keep him a Yankee until the end of his career. Posada has spent his entire career elbowing his way into the public consciousness, always overshadowed by bigger names and brassier names.

Yet if you were to take a poll among the 4 million-plus who show up at Yankee Stadium every year, if you extend the vote to the millions of others who claim the Yankees as their primary baseball addiction, you will find a battalion of relieved souls this morning....

Derek Jeter may be the nominal captain of the team. Any number of flashier players have posted all manner of flashier numbers through the years. But it has always been Posada who has represented the greater angels of the Yankees' soul, bringing a daily professionalism to the ballpark that is as evident as facade in centerfield and The Bat out by the parking lot.


Cashman and Baby Boss knew that the team in Queens were going to toss an ungodly amount of money at Jorge, so backing off and offering him what he wanted, a four year deal, was really a no-brainer; they gave a similar deal to Damon, so they also knew there would be absolute hell to pay if they let Jorge get away over--in Yankee terms--chump change. They need the steady hand of Posada to help the Kiddie Korps of pitchers that are the centerpiece of Cashman's rebuilding scheme. And with A-Hole out of the equation, they desperately need Posada's bat on the right hand side of the plate.

So now all that's left is Mo, who I am currently leaning towards telling to go fuck off if he won't take what's already on the table after reading this:
Rivera has been sitting on what is believed to be a three-year, $39 million offer for the past few days. The two sides were still negotiating last night, and the deal could still be tweaked.

Rivera, who turns 38 on Nov. 29, even brought his former manager into the discussion yesterday, telling The Associated Press that he would consider a move to join Joe Torre in Los Angeles if things don't work out with the Yankees.

"The Yankees are my first option," said Rivera, who is in the Dominican Republic. "But if that is not possible, there is Joe with the Dodgers."

Mo, I love ya, but you are just as friggin' delusional as A-Hole and Boras if you believe any other team will offer you a better deal than the Yankees, especially the Dodgers. Saying you'd be willing to go over to Yankees West is the first classless thing I've ever seen you do. You've got, maybe, two years left in that arm, Mariano. It takes you a couple of months just to get your act together... that third year at $13 mill is a goddamn gift.
UPDATE: OH CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN replies:
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"Kid? Remember: you buy the ticket, you take the ride.... NOW, what are we gonna do with Jeter? Mark my words, he's gonna be a Reggie without the stick."

Saturday, November 10, 2007

What an Absolute Douche

You're gonna need a diplomatic visa to ever again step one fucking foot into Brooklyn, you sellout shitheel.
Torre says A-Rod might join Dodgers - Yahoo! News

Captain Obvious Reports

"We're trying to win, but it takes more than one person. We've had teams that have won and we haven't had numbers like that put up, so you don't necessarily have to have those type of numbers in order to win."

Derek Jeter says Yankees can win without A-Rod

OH CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN replies:
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"Kid? Remember: you buy the ticket, you take the ride.... My locker better be ready for me when you guys move into the new digs....

"And that guy Brosius can kick A-Rod's ass."

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Baby Boss: "The Kids Ain't Going..."

Yankees say young pitchers not available - Baseball - MSNBC.com:
It’s pretty obvious which players we’re not going to trade,” the owner’s son said Wednesday, before rattling off the team’s most-prized young pitchers. “Chamberlain, Hughes and even Kennedy. Not for a position player.


People, take note of that final sentence, and then say to yourself, "Hankie has some serious Yohan Santana lust written into that statement."

Sounds like Baby learned something from Daddy Darth: "don't go berserk until you get something good in return."

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Best Hot Stove Ever?

Alright, here's my predictions for both the Sox and Skanks:

Sox: Lester, Justin Masterson and No-co for Scott Kazmir

Skanks: Combo of two (Hughes, Kennedy, Chamberlain) and The Melkman for Johan Santana

OR

All three pitchers and Melky for Dontrelle Willes AND Miguel Cabrera


Both the Fish and the Twinkies need a CF. Makes more sense to make the Santana move with the caveat they get 72 hours to negotiate a new contract. Although, 'giving up the farm' to get both the D-train and Cabrera fills needs at pitcher and third.

Monday, November 05, 2007

It's the rivalry that brought us Reggie versus Bob Welch.

"Err, no." We never gave a shit. We knew as God playing witness,

Again, wrong.

It's the rivalry that brought us George Steinbrenner versus The Elevator.

And now, it's back. After all these years.

New York Yankees-Los Angeles Dodgers.

Once again, it's must-see baseball theater.

He's the Captain of the Good Ship "Raving Idiot"

originally posted at my personal Romper Room

considering his Columbia Law pedigree, I really should not be surprised that he's a total maroon, but when he wrote this: By Opting Out, Rodriguez Really Wants In

He put it in terms of uncertainty about the return of much-admired teammates, which sweetens, not sours, relationships. But his behavior makes absolutely no sense unless it was timed to precede the Girardi announcement, and that in turn makes no sense unless Rodriguez wants to be on his lineup card.He put it in terms of uncertainty about the return of much-admired teammates, which sweetens, not sours, relationships. But his behavior makes absolutely no sense unless it was timed to precede the Girardi announcement, and that in turn makes no sense unless Rodriguez wants to be on his lineup card.


Right there, in that simple sentence that prefaced that logically ridiculous paragraph, he brands himself an ass... if I heard those words come out of some mook's mouth while sitting at a bar I would have smashed him in the face even if he was six foot eight..

A-Hole couldn't give a rat's ass about Pettitte, Georgie, Girardi or Mo; for Sweet Baby Jeebus's sake, Boras had the gall to try throwing Mo under a bus!

As I said over at The DBGB, I think A-Hole and Boras screwed up by pulling the opt-out the way they did. It's obvious (at least to me) that they think they are still dealing with Darth Boss George. That crap died with Boomer's hamburger.

Those days are over. Now, it's Baby Boss, Hank, and I have a feeling he's gonna be an absolute prick when it comes to dealing with Boras and A-Hole.

If I'm Ian Kennedy, I'm worrying about my life in Pinstripes. Nothing personal, kid, but you are currently being jockeyed by The Anti-Christ. Ipso facto: Cashman might complain, but you are trade bait.

Remember, this is the Yankees. We will trade your ass in a heartbeat. If Baby Boss has learned anything from Darth Boss, it is "fuck these bastards who will not take the ride."

It's Hot Stove Time!

http://www.marianorivera.com/

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Walter O'Malley's Ghost

MANAGER’S L.A. MOVE COMES A LITTLE TOO QUICK:

"IF THIS happens, if Brooklyn's favorite son winds up managing Brooklyn's erstwhile baseball team, there are two things I will want to know in short order: 1. Does this mean Billy Crystal trades in the interlocking “NY' for the interlocking “LA' for good now? 2. What did Joe Torre know, and when did he know it?"

This should, finally, put a stake in the heart of Uncle Joe Torre's sainthood. Negotiating with LA before they threw Grady Little under the bus was just as bush league as what Boras and A-Hole pulled.

And, if (as rumored) he brings Mattingly and Bowa along for the ride, and fails to light up the NL West, something that's always sat in the back of my mind will become clear:

It wasn't him; it was Mel Stott and Zim, working with Buck and Stick's guys. Joe was just along for the ride.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Did Boras Blow It?

UNTIL THE END, IT WAS ALWAYS ABOUT A-ROD

If I am an owner, and I know that the Yankees have made it crystal clear that they will not even bother making an offer for A-Hole to remain in the Bronx after pulling his opt-out move without even talking to the team, why in Baby Jeebus's name would I throw a contract on the table with the numbers Boras has bandied about?

There are only a few teams who are in a position to afford it, and, IMO, three of them: the Yanks, Red Sox and Mets, are out of the equation.

YANKS: Baby Boss made it clear: "Fuck you, A-Hole. We were willing to pay, and you spit on us by opting out without even hearing what we had to say. DIAF."
METS: Omar isn't an asshole; he saw all the crap that swirled around A-Hole's stint in the Bronx, and he doesn't need a third baseman or shortstop. He's gonna spend his money elsewhere to trying putting his squad over the top, especially after their late season implosion.
RED SOX: What, they're gonna ditch Lowell? If they are gonna throw crazy money at anyone, he's the one RSN will demand be on the receiving end. Bringing in A-Hole would seriously screw the team's chemistry... I can't imagine Tek and A-Hole sharing a clubhouse... and it could potentially lead to Epstein and Henry getting serious death threats if they even talk about 'Slappy McBluelips' out loud if the trade-off is losing Lowell.

Of the remaining teams that could afford it, my bet would be the Halos; Vlad and A-Hole would be a helluva one/two punch. But it would be kinda interesting if nobody bites at the $30 million per year price. It would force Boras into a corner. If the bastard had waited until the Yanks had put an offer on the table and then said, "we want to test the waters," instead of pulling that stunt while the World Series was still underway, more teams would probably be willing, but after showing all of MLB that for A-Hole it's "all about me," I think a lot of owners are not gonna bother even trying to sign him.

Would you be willing to lock 20-30% of your salary to one guy who has never done shit when it's playoff time? Texas had a decent team before that moron owner signed A-Hole to that psychotic contract, and look what it got them: the cellar. The Yanks have nothing to show for taking A-Hole on; indeed, a case could be made that bringing him to the Bronx was a mistake. So unless Boras already has an owner's offer in his pocket (which would be "tampering" under MLB rules), he may have screwed the pooch and actually depressed A-Hole's price.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Attention: Potential Site Rebranding

If The Lip is right, Don Mattingly will manage if Boss Steinbrenner still rules then nothing will change.

If they pick Girardi, I'm renaming this joint. It will be called The Darth Boss George Brigade The King Lear's George Kiddie Korp.

and, for no real reason...


whenever I see this, I think, "they weren't a band, they were a gang."

Thursday, October 18, 2007

And AWAY, We Go!

It's gonna be All Wrong:
National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum: Home

Not yelling at people? Just mumbling: "Fuck the Rockies".... Sheesh, this weekend is gonna Major League blow:
Steinbrenner family ties put everyone in bind

Every time I head up there, it's 'bet on it' fun. This year? Unless crazed Tribe teepee escapees are running amok, it's gonna suck

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Madden is a Dick

He, really, has no idea what is going on. I've talked to (ooh, "not named")... no one gives a fuck for you)

It's the money, the power... it BELIEVE ME JESUS is not you douchebags who never did nothing.

BEERS. HERE.
(yes, I'm just busting balls, but look in the mirror?
Yankee silence doesn't bode well for Joe Torre

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Trot!

The Official Site of The Boston Red Sox: News: Boston Red Sox News: "'We've got a war in front of us,' said Red Sox catcher Jason Varitek. 'Obviously they don't back down, we don't back down. We've got to be ready to play Monday.'"

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Torre Death Watch: Day Two

COTGM Exclusive: Steinbrenner Threatened Far More than Torre’s Job

On a more serious note, if you're Joe Torre, would you want to come back? I mean, the "Joba Rules" were put in place precisely because everyone was afraid Uncle Joe would burn the kid out, and he showed he was willing to do that by using the kid in a Game 3, where he had a five run lead, after not threatening to pull the kid and his team off the field during the Attack of the Bugs if the umps didn't delay the game. Really, hosing him down with Raid™ ? Twice? Why not smear the kid with Armorall during a threatened rain delay? It was bullshit.

That kinda deciding tells me he ain't gonna have anybody defending him if the decision about offering him a new contract ever makes it to the table.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Good Win!

Is it just me or is Hughes starting to look like a number 1 again?

Let's hope Mussina has it tomorrow.

Why Joba?

The lead was 5 runs. I know this game is must win, but they could have used one of the other guys until and unless the Indians got closer. Joba could have been brought in then if necessary. Now he is blown for tomorrow and with Mussina or Wang starting it seems less likely that there will be a five run lead going into the seventh and more likely that effective bullpen assistance will be required.

Just asking.

Win. Period

Friday, October 05, 2007

Joe Torre Is An Idiot

Why wasn't Joba pulled?

It was obvious that his focus was gone.

Why wasn't Mariano warming up when Sizemore was walked in four pitches?

Why wasn't Mariano in when we were lucky enough to find ourselves with two outs (they gave us one with that silly bunt, and then that line drive to Minky was luck in itself)?

Mariano comes in, this game is already over and we're going back to NY tied up.

Now? Who knows what's going to happen?

On the other hand, maybe god doesn't want the Yankees to win. Maybe he hates the Yankees so much that he sent his plague of locusts to mess with them.

Injun VooDoo: "Voice of God" Sent to the Sidelines

SI.com - MLB - Yankees announcer Sheppard to miss div. series - Friday October 5, 2007 4:41PM

That Better Be the End of the Ugly

Jeez, I don't know what was the worse thing I saw last night: Torre's decision to leave Wang in after it was obvious the sinker wasn't sinking; throwing the greenest guy in his bullpen into a "gotta stop the bleeding NOW" situation, or letting Sabathia off the hook and stranding runners all over the place... guy walks SIX and not one of them score? Unacceptable!

Lofton keys Indians' rout of Yankees in Game 1 - Baseball - MSNBC.com

Look, Bombers, I have so far managed to go the entire season without destroying a television; don’t make me ruin the first season like that I’ve had in fucking years by pulling that kinda shit tonight.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Monday, October 01, 2007

I'm Watching 'Yankees Classics' on YES

First, it astounds me that no one ever just shot Howard Cosell, on General Principles.

Next, JESUS CHRIST WANTS TO BE RENAMED "REGGIE" BUT THURMAN WON'T ALLOW IT



OH CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN replies:
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"Be serious. I told Reggie in '77, "I'm gonna kill you if you don't come through." Chambliss saved his ass. Took a whole damn year for that asshole Jackson to figure out Piniella was ready to fucking kill him right there on the field."

There IS a God...

and the sucker wears Pinstripes, baby!

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Yo, Muttsies
phanatic_god.jpg

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Red Letter Day

Mutts are now the title holders of BIGGEST COLLAPSE IN MLB HISTORY!

Congratulations, Red Sox Nation

LeatherPenguin: Congratulations, Red Sox Nation

It's Retard Day in Yankeeland

Manager: Jorge
Pitching Coach: Moose
Bullpen Coach: Villone
Trainer: RhoidBoy

When asked to contribute, Mariano Rivera was heard to say, "Fuck you, Georgie, I'm taking the day off."

Friday, September 28, 2007

Red Sox Win AL East

Red Sox accomplish dual goals 1.) Win AL East 2.) Negotiate deal with Middle East to spread Red Sox brand in Arab culture while agreeing to exploit Red Sox to kill Jews.(is that the dude thats married to Christina Aguilera?)

On the Ropes; KO'd this Weekend?



GO FISH! FINISH THESE BASTARDS OFF.

C'mon, TC wants to be swimming in all the beer the bastard fans of that team in Queens will owe me if they pull the ultimate FAIL! and get knocked out of the playoffs after leading their division for the whole damn year.

You twirps thought I was outta my mind making those bets at the All Star break... who's laughing now, asshats?

UPDATE: too funny

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Pictures That Are Too Funny NOT To Post

Still Darth Boss

Joe Torre dines with George Steinbrenner:
Torre said Steinbrenner was in good shape and encouraged by the Yankees' second-half surge, although the Boss was not pleased that his club failed to clinch a playoff berth on Tuesday night against the Devil Rays. 'I said, 'How are you doing?' and he said, 'Not so good,'' Torre said.

'That's when I knew he was fine."

"I Love You, Man!" Now DON'T FUCK UP

New York Yankees' Joba Chamberlain, right, and Alex Rodriguez celebrate aft... - MLB - Yahoo! Sports

Monday, September 24, 2007

Joel Sherman Stirs Up Some Shit

MUSSINA: THE ‘RULES’ HAVE GOT TO GO
“When you put on a uniform in the postseason, you’re available every day,” Mussina said. “That’s just simply the way it is.”

When asked if this represented a team-wide view, Mussina said, “I am pretty sure you can take a survey, and it would be the same opinion.”


Honest answer: "I have no idea."

Cash replies:
However, general manager Brian Cashman is entrusted to balance both the present and a future in which he wants a healthy, overpowering Chamberlain in the rotation. So as the overseer of the Joba Rules, he was hardly thrilled about Mussina’s sentiments, saying by phone last night, “Mike needs to worry about doing his job and we will do our job. “At the end of the day, we [upper management] know what we are doing.”

TC interprets Cashmanese: "Mussina, do you really want to fuck with me? STFU AND GBTW."

Hey, Moose? Here's a newsflash: You ain't necessarily needed for the 2008 rotation. Even if you go crazy hot, it might not earn you a spot. Joba already owns one of the right hand starting slots for next year. You? Two words: Bernie Williams.

You thinking dumping you would make Cash break a sweat?

UPDATE: OH CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN replies:
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"An Oriole? My right hand has more honor digging through a hole in my pants. At least Reggie's unbearable bullshit won games that counted and got me some rings. That clown? He couldn't even put away that asshat Everett with a perfecto on the line... now gimme a beer, my throat's tight from all this talking."

Saturday, September 22, 2007

God, I Hate This Shit [Updated}

First fourteen innings last night, now a goddamn five hour game with the Yanks using ten friggin' pitchers?

Screw this, I'm taking the dog for a walk.

UPDATE: RIGHT, like they'll allow me to walk out. (and "looking scared as hell being interviewed" Melky hereby earns the ultimate respect: tomorrow, I wear his shirt).

Friday, September 21, 2007

Let's Go Mutts!

Seriously, I think I'm enjoying watching them melt down more than the idea that the Yanks can end up winning the AL East.

If the Mutts blow the division there are a bunch of schmucks hanging out in a bar around the corner from me that are gonna have hell to pay (and cases of beer they're gonna owe me) after the crap I put up with from them all season long.

If somehow they pull a total collapse and fail to make the playoffs (don't know if that's statistically possible, but one can hope) I may end up owning that goddamn bar!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Yoo-Hoo, Red Sox Naaaa-shun...

bdd_nyy_mirror_bdd_61407.jpg

WEER IN UR REAR VIEW MIRROR
LOOKING LARGER THAN WE APPEAR SCARY AS ALL GET OUT


teh funny

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Shades of Bucky

"It's an honor to watch the best clutch hitter in history do his thing, and the best closer in history do his thing," said Roger Clemens, who in his first start since Sept. 3 dueled Schilling to a 1-all tie before leaving after six innings. "Jeter is one of the reasons that I got up off the couch and came back."


Jeter's HR knocks Schilling off beat as Yanks edge Red Sox

jeterspanksschilling.jpg
(image from noMaas.org)

with the game on the line:
Bacon vs. Jeter: Red Sox FAIL.
Mo vs. Papi: Red Sox FAIL.

Yes, Jabo-san, the world is, once again, set right tonight.
Now go pray to Thurman and then off to bed.

Captain Obvious (Eric Hinske): "If you can’t get up for a Red Sox-Yankees game, you’ve got something wrong with you."

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Who's Your Daddy Pappa-san?

Dice-K wriggled of the hook, Andy was flat and his fielders were kicking the ball around most of the night (note to AL: "don't try running on Melky... he kicks ass when it comes to assists"), but the Yanks blasted the crap out of the Boston bullpen's best to win a game they had no business winning:
WHERE ARE YOUR BULLPEN GODS NOW?
This is why the New York Yankees are potentially the most dangerous team in the playoffs. That six-spot they put up in the eighth inning against two of the best relievers in baseball - Hideki Okajima and Jonathan Papelbon - is proof enough that the Yankees can hit good pitching.

What are the chances they'll come up against a pitching staff similar to the Tigers of last season and get shut down again? I wouldn't bet the house on it. Anyway, that was a hard question to answer last night after they overturned a 7-2 Sox lead and took an 8-7 victory last night at Fenway.

"It certainly makes us feel better than it makes them feel bad," said Yankees manager Joe Torre. "It's great for us. We lost a tough game in Toronto. We gave a lot away tonight. I want to say it's huge with 15-16 games left on the schedule. This is where emotion kind of takes over."

If I'm the Yankees, I fly Bucky in to deliver today's lineup card.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Yoo Hoo, oh NATION....

I've told youse mooks a gazillion times, "SPRING FORWARD... FALL BACK."

and now we approach the Fall, and what do you mooks do?

START FALLING BACK.

bdd_nyy_mirror_bdd_61407.jpg

WE R IN UR REAR VIEW MIRROR
LOOKING LARGER THAN WE APPEAR SCARY AS ALL GET OUT

the weekend's gonna be Armeggedon


C'mon, admit it: there is nothing fucking bettah!

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Not on His Own Team, but A-Hole is Definitely Gonna be the AL MVP

There's no way in hell it ain't gonna happen. After yesterday, he has his name notched next to Ruth, Mantle (who he most likely will pass within the next two weeks eight days, max ) and Maris as single season Yankee HR kings (and considering just how retarded his hot streak has been all season long, I would not dare bet against him passing those other two, too).

He's now hit more career HRs than any other third baseman, a record he already holds among shortstops.

Really, who the hell else could anyone vote for after this "magical" season shit?

SWEET BABY JEEBUS, HE HIT ANOTHER ONE WHILE I WAS PROOFING THIS!

Anyone who still thinks he's gonna opt out is out of their ever-loving, motherfucking mind. A-hole (or as I like to call him, "Chi Chi Rodriqweez"), is Madison Avenue GOLD as long as he wears Pinstripes. He leaves, he's a clean King Rhoid who will never hit Cooperstown with the impact he'd make having his plaque wearing a Yankee cap.

Just ask Dave Winfield. "Pimary Team=Yankees" Cap=Padre

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

To the Stadium Clowns Chanting "MVP!"

You're serenading the wrong guy.

This season's Yankee MVP does NOT work at third base; he is squatting behind the plate. When Gator was gonna leave Wang in the game Jorge said "no way, pull him right now" because he realized what Wang means to the team. He basically ordered Torre to give the ace of their pitching staff the hook, and Uncle Joe did what he was told to do by the REAL leader of this team. The fact the Yanks are still in the playoff picture rests entirely on Jorge's rock solid shoulders, not A-Hole's gaudy numbers.

Everyone makes a big deal about A-Hole possibly walking after this season... well, the idea the Posada might not be back scares me far more than losing A-Hole.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

The Sun Was In My Eyes....

uh....my shoe was untied....yeah, that's it! A blister in his foot caused the elbow injury. How much is his endorsement deal for his footwear? And how much are the skanks paying this fuck?

Money well spent, George. Hey, at least he showed up against us in the Bronx.

Monday, September 03, 2007

I'm Glad I Got Hippie Hair...

because I'm about five fucking seconds from tearing the shit right off of my skull.

Saturday, September 01, 2007

This Just In

Kenny Singleton just informed us that, despite having the Big Team call up a chunk of their top-line pitching staff, the AAA kids are beating the beejezus out of RSN's Pawtucket Punks.

Unpossible!
Yet true.

We stomp you in NY-Penn;
We stomp you in Triple A, too.

Good lord a mighty!
We're working the "youth voodoo."


bdd_nyy_mirror_bdd_61407.jpg

WE R IN UR REAR VIEW MIRROR
LOOKING LARGER THAN WE APPEAR


I'm waiting for Cash (a la the Bruins with Bobby Orr) to just BUY some youth league (or an entire country's baseball program) that produces quality prospects.

I mean, it's not like he couldn't afford it.

Friday, August 31, 2007

The Post in Which I Prostrate Myself Before the Sage's HOF Plaque and Beg for His Benificent Forgiveness

I'm sorry, Yogi-san. I should never have doubted the wisdom of your words.

photo05.jpg
Yankee wins give pennant race new look

If this week's kid, Ian Kennedy, strikes my fancy tomorrow in his MLB debut, my season-long betting discipline is going directly out the window.

Ho Hum- Yanks Sweep


While the sweep was probably like a swift kick to the nuts to the reactionary WEEI mouth foaming pessimist fan, many enlightened Sox fans, like myself, are not very concerned about 3 straight losses. Here are five reasons:
1.) A big division lead fosters a lackadaisical attitude to the games. You want your team heading into the playoffs hot, playing hard like somebody shoved a hot poker up your ass.
2.) As we've seen, the 2007 Yanks have shown the ability to from white hot to ice cold. Each time the Yanks have closed the division gap, they coughed it back up faster than young Jimmy getting a handy from Mary Lou.
3.) The Sox starters havent lost their ability to pitch well.... the hitters (Mostly-Manniless) were scuffling this series against decent pitching, but goodbye NYC, hello Baltimore! 'nuff said there.
4.) The complexion of those games would have changed had they occurred at Fenway (JD homer= out, 2 Cano homers- out, out, A-Rod homer= single)
5.) Even if the Yanks creep in ala Wild Card, they'll get bounced by Anaheim in the A.L.D.S. (as we ALL know)

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

A Moment of Silence, Please

Sic transit gloria mundi

Hilly Kristal, Founder Of CBGB, Dies Of Cancer
Hilly Kristal, whose dank Bowery rock club CBGB served as the birthplace of the punk rock movement and a launching pad for bands like the Ramones, Blondie and the Talking Heads, has died after a battle with lung cancer, his son said Wednesday. He was 75.

Jeez, I have no idea the number of nights I spent in that dive. Good times.
“He created a club that started on a small, out-of-the-way skid row, and saw it go around the world,” said Lenny Kaye, a longtime member of the Patti Smith Group. “Everywhere you travel around the world, you saw somebody wearing a CBGB T-shirt.”

Godspeed, you Magnificent Bastard, and thanks for all the memories.

Say "hello" to Dee Dee, Johnny and Joey for me... and kick Thunders in the nuts for puking on the floor in Rock & Roll Heaven.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

It's Over

Yeah, they might earn the wildcard slot, but that just means they'll get blown away in Round One:
Time Torre throws changeup at rotation:
"A few days ago, Mike Mussina scoffed at any notion that he needed to pitch well last night to retain his spot in the rotation. 'Who would they replace me with?' Mussina asked dismissively. Three innings into a third straight disastrous start last night, you couldn't help thinking those might be remembered as famous last words from Mussina."

Melky saved him from getting yanked in the first inning. They can't DL Mussina; the league would never stand for it. The Yanks have two gaping holes in the starting rotation: Moose and Clemens. You can't--if you are honest--trust either one of them. It's Pettite, Wang, and "flip a fucking coin."

And now the Red Sox come to town.... Oh, Joy!

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Tick Tick Tick...

With the sweep of the double-header and the Skanks loss in extras the magic number is now 28. Sox go 18-14 down the stretch and the Skanks lose 10 then the 'Destiny and Aura' era is over.

By-the-by, TC: your boys are now 3 back of the Fishermen in the wildcard race. Found the panic button yet?

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

So What Will Santana Cost?

Mussina's a busted nut; it's time to re-up.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

I'm Watching Righetti's No Hitter...

on YES's "Yankee Classics," and it amazes me just how godawfully shitty that team was.

How Piniella didn't decide to just kill some of those chumps is confounding.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

They Better ALL be Wearing Number Ten tonight

img_0538.JPG
(Cooperstown, Main lobby "The Holy Cow")

or I swear there will be hell to pay....

Monday, August 13, 2007

Patience with prospects paying off for Bombers

He still has to answer for Kyle Farnsworth and Kei Igawa, to be sure, but Cashman doesn't look so dumb anymore, does he?

Not until Duncan's "Bash Brothers" shit breaks someone's wrist. Don't get me wrong: I love seeing that enthusiastic stuff... but he's gonna damage someone from the older part of the lineup. Melky can take it, easy; maybe even Cano. Jorge? He might end up on the DL.
Patience with prospects paying off for Bombers

The "C&C" Youth Juice

A bit old, but piss off; I was on vaca.
On the Yankees beat:Cabrera and Cano

via The Bronx Block

Oh, BTW, Nationites: How's that "15.something ERA" Gagne thing working out for you?

God Bless "The Mick"

plaque_118258.jpg

“That boy hits baseballs over buildings. He runs as fast as Ty Cobb.”
— Casey Stengel

Me and the Yankees is all this guy's fault; his star overrides being born in the Bronx and a murderous intent for damn near anything to do with Queens that's coded into my genes. I'll never forget the resignation that registered on Da's face when he handed me the sliotar that he'd smacked home for the winning point in a game at Gaelic Park and I, already havving my soul stoled at the ripe age of five, immediately forged Mickey's signature on the sucker and demanded he take me to that afternoon's game at The Stadium.

PS: Costas' eulogy: "But I guess I'm here, not so much to speak for myself as to simply represent the millions of baseball-loving kids who grew up in the '50s and '60s and for whom Mickey Mantle was baseball.

"And more than that, he was a presence in our lives – a fragile hero to whom we had an emotional attachment so strong and lasting that it defied logic. Mickey often said he didn't understand it, this enduring connection and affection – for men now in their forties and fifties, otherwise perfectly sensible, who went dry in the mouth and stammered like schoolboys in the presence of Mickey Mantle."

or will always be thinking "what could have been" if his knees had held up. Kinda like Bobby Orr; if they had the luck of good health, they would have rewritten the record books. First time I met him, at his joint in Manhattan, I was, according to a friend accompanying me, "reduced to a gibbering idiot."

Nah, I just reverted to that five year old kid.

Official Mickey Mantle Web Site

Hall of Fame page

Friday, August 03, 2007

The Bronx Block

The Bronx Block | MVN - Most Valuable Network

Pretty good Yankee blog. The guy running the joint, Jim Johnson, seems to know his stuff.

As an added attraction, he doesn't fly off the handle like a certain blog admin we all know... hey, what?

This Guy Should Die In A Fire

Condé Nast Cocksucker Ambushes Darth Boss George

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Oh Captain, Our Captain

munson_legend_jpg.jpg

8/2/79: Thurman Munson Dies In Plane Crash

Possibly the Stupidest Baseball Hack on the Planet

I'm serious. After skimming over a couple of his other columns, this crap: How Sox's Deal for Gagne Helps Yanks, only hints at what an ass Steven Goldman truly is when writing about baseball.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

"Shel-ley Dun-can!" (clap clap clapclapclap)

I am falling in love with that kid. With him, Cano and Melky we got a rollicking "SI Yankees' Three Amigos" thing going on in the dugout. It is too frickin' cool to have seen them (and Andy Phillips, Wang et al) go from NY-Penn to the Big Show in da Bronx.

Proctor and not Farnsworth?

TC, your boys on the island got it right.

I still can't believe that Wilson Betemit is a Skank and Gagne isn't.

Yep, He's Still "Good Ol' A-Hole"

When the lights shine bright he disappears in the night:

Nearly everybody and his uncle were knocking balls over the wall last night for the Yankees. Seven Bombers effortlessly ripped eight homers, tying a franchise record from FDR's days back in 1939. You got the feeling the bat boy might have lined one off the left-field foul pole, if given half a chance during the 16-3 victory against these White Sox pitching imposters.

But Alex Rodriguez kept flying out - deep, deeper, deepest; then shallow and sharply shallow. His balls died like wounded quails out there by the warning track, where they usually take flight. He finished the night 0-for-5, sagging along on an 0-for-17 slump since his 499th homer Wednesday.

And while it is easy to feel for the guy, this may be yet another unfortunate indicator that A-Rod is still not A-Man for A-Moment. The cameras flashed. The star fizzled.


When the heat is on, it seems he's not so hot

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Further proof that the second sentence in the subtitle above is No Exaggeration

"A New York man has been charged with beating his mother to death with a barbell after losing his temper while watching a baseball game on television.

Michael Anthony, 25, was watching the New York Mets lose a game on Saturday from his home in the borough of Queens when he began furiously banging on the walls, Queens District Attorney Richard Brown said in a statement on Monday.

His father Fred Fischman shouted at him to stop, but Anthony punched him in the face and threw him to the ground, according to the criminal charges.

When Anthony's mother, Maria Fischman, 61, tried to intervene, prosecutors said he stabbed her once in the head with a knife before chasing her into a bedroom where he struck her several times with the nine-kilogram barbell."

IOL: Mets fan allegedly kills mom after team lose

The only move I want to See Cashman Make Today

Farnsworth. Tree. Rope.
some assembly required.

Seriously. Eat a piece of his contract and trade him somewhere for a bucket of Extra Crispy if you have to, Cashie, but just get the SOB away from the team, or Posada and Mo might just beat the fucker to death next time he pops off like he did this past weekend.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Cash to League: "Not Yours."

This would have been impossible to conceive just a few years ago:
Cash: Hands off young arms
"Just call them The Untouchables. With the trade deadline five days away, several teams would love to pry Phil Hughes, Joba Chamberlain or Ian Kennedy away from the Yankees, but Brian Cashman has no intention of dealing any of the three.

'You can't hold them all, but certain ones, you have to,' Cashman said. 'It's what you're supposed to do - collect as much talent as you can to help yourself.'"

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

The Dugout

This is a pretty funny website most days.... Definitely worth a look see if you haven't visited before.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Oliver Platt has DBG down

The guy playing Yogi also cracks me up.

YOGI: "Why so many dagos make it?"
BILLY: "We take it personal."

ZING!

(yes, I've bailed on the game, only checking in during commercials)

This "Special Ball" Crap is Bullshit

What is the bloody point using those hologrammed balls until after he hits 499? The point is validify number 500; 499 ain't worth shit.

UPDATE: I stand corrected: via FARK
"Weird disclaimer of the day: #499 might actually turn out to be #500! The reason : The Yankees and the Orioles on Friday will finish a game suspended on June 28. If A-Rod homers in the last two innings of that game, and he is due up second in the first inning they will play,it will be officially credited as happening on June 28! This would technically make last nights home run #500...hope someone saved it...."

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Thursday, July 19, 2007

My Two Cents

Alright, I listen to MLB on XM nearly every day. During interleague play there are a TON of arguments about schedules being fair. Well, here’s my take:

  1. Go back to a balanced schedule (and balanced leagues)
  2. Keep interleague play but make it balanced as well
  3. Get rid of the divisions and go back to AL/NL

Go back to a balanced schedule. Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE that my Sox play the Skanks 19 times a year. The problem is: we play each other 19 times a year. If we went back to a balanced schedule the rivalry would just go nuclear. I believe it is a better test of a team to play everyone the same amount of times. My ‘fix’ is to play everyone in the AL 8 times (FOUR game sets!); 4 at home and away. With a balanced league (yeah, that's right, Bud, 15 teams in each league) that would be 112 games in the AL (8 games times 14 opponents).

Keep interleague play but make it balanced as well. Now here comes the trick. You play ALL the teams from the NL 3 times. You rotate home/away every other year (i.e. Skanks play the Mutts in Queens this year and in the Bronx next year). Interleague game total = 45. Add that to the above ‘league only’ games and you have a 157 game season. Oh, yeah, and while we're at it: DH is used in NL parks and the pitcher hits in the AL.

Get rid of the divisions and go back to AL/NL. No more divisions. Yes, I know it ‘works’ for the NFL. However, it doesn’t work for the NBA (the closest comparison to MLB). IMAFO, with a 157 game season the top 4 teams go to the playoffs same as now. However, the shitty team in a weak division doesn’t get in. You’d have the ‘one seed’ play the ‘four seed’ and the same for the second and third seeds.

Can someone tell me why this doesn't make ANY sense?

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Happy Coney Day!

David Cone's perfect game

I say we toss Farnsworth on a bonfire to appeal to the Baseball Gods to please stop fucking with my head!

The regular bees buzzing in my skull don't need any help, m'kay?

Monday, July 16, 2007

Today's I Call This One

The Boras Bitch Slap

Well done, Tito, well done.

Title H/T to the beloved SondraK

Monday, July 09, 2007

This Better Not Suck

I've avoided reading any reviews, mostly because I was there for it all:

the blackout (when we realized what was going on, me and my friends, quite frankly, went bonkers with glee: "NO ALARMS WORK--IT'S PILLAGING TIME!);

Son of Sam (who scared the living shit out of me, because my sister was a near-perfect example of what seemed to be his demographic "target," and as it played out I was convinced the fucker was gonna cross the V-Z Bridge because Queens and Brooklyn were too hot with cops on a manhunt),

and lordy, the craziest, most absolutely flat-out insane season in Yankee history... until the following year, when, of all people, Bucky "Fucking" Dent tore the hearts out of Red Sox Nation (and reminds all Yankee fans that even though this season has been one big clusterfuck, "It ain't over till it's over!")

The Bronx is Burning

Sunday, July 01, 2007

I'll be back after the All Star Break

Good sweet wailing baby Jeebus... 8-0 and the second isn't over? Somebody gimme a Reggie Bar to throw at this TV screen.

Screw you guys, I'm in the backyard, right now, cooking me some hunks of cow (with an ear aimed at the radio, hoping Suzie finally kills Sterling if for no other reason that "just because"...).

"Hi! My Name's Bobby Abreu. I Promise You, if you hit de ball directly at me, I WILL catch de ball."

I'm developing a serious HATE for that fucking asshole.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Falling Back to the Ballpark in St. George

The "big team" is driving me nuts.

In Saint G, at least I eat for free.

I promise to stop saying "Oh fuck those bastards, let the ALL die!"

Sometime after the All-Star Game.

Wait... let's make that a "maybe."

Friday, June 22, 2007

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Baby Bombers Have Another "Holy Shit!" Kid

St. George was goddamned rockin' last night:
Betances brilliant for S.I. Yanks

MEMO
TO: Mandalay Baseball
RE: Joining the Evil Empire

Sirs,
You people just flat-out rock. I've been a season ticket holder since the Baby Bombers were born (though that first season when they were playing at CSI was a tad dicey, seeing as how CSI Security has me on what is knnown as the "keep an eye on him" list).

But good lordy, last night was a blast. The stadium looked fantastic; the weather was perfect....

And I am buying an entire season's worth of the "All You Can Eat" ticket plan, damn the gastro-intestinel aftermath!

HEY, TC?

Can you see us over the horizon?

June 21st and only ONE game over .500. You're going to have to play .666 ball the rest of the way out to even think about having a chance for the playoffs.

That said, if 'Tek goes down again you could probably stick a fork in us like last year.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

This Day in Yankee History

"Louisiana Lightning Strikes"

I'm biased as all get-out, but if any pitcher has put up a better season since Gator tore the league apart in 1978... hell, since I've been alive, you're gonna be hard pressed proving it to me.

And don't even try talking that Mickey Lolich shit.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

HEY, JEFE?

It's called "the rear view mirror."

LOOK INTO IT.

"The Red Sox? FUCK THE RED SOX. They're like Daylight Savings Time: Spring forward; FALL back."

"Now feed me that fatheaded fuck called "Mr. Mutt."

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Nettles Would Have Felt Right at Home*

There ought to be a carnival barker stationed outside the gates off River Ave., screaming through a megaphone. Hurry, hurry, step right on up and see the bearded lady, the sword-swallowing freak, the four-horned goat.

Step right up & see Rocket!

*

Six Foot TEN?

Holy crap! He doesn't need a mound; he's pitching downhill on level ground.
Yanks Reel In College Righty

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Are you surpised? Be honest...

Here is an interesting article about some heathens beating up a traffic directing firefighter *note the appearance of the assailants... pay special attention to the caps...;)

i'm just kidding, the thugs probably wear those caps solely as a fashion statement, perhaps even of the leather variety, or alternate colors or some crazy splash on them... but still.

Monday, June 04, 2007

Rest in Peace, Clete

Former Yankees 3B Clete Boyer dead at 70:
"'He was a great Yankee and a tough guy. He never talked too much but he was extremely hardworking. A wonderful third baseman, and had fire in his belly,' Yankees owner George Steinbrenner said through a spokesman."

The Last Laugh?


Sox fan gets it right

Finally! He Comes Through in the Clutch


Two outs. Two strikes. And a stud closer on the mound.

Then Papelbon attempted to close out A-Rod with a fastball that the Yankees’ cleanup hitter drove through the rain and over the right-field wall for what proved to be the game-winning hit in a pulsating 6-5 Yankees win in front of 36,793 at Fenway Park.

ALEX POPS PAP IN 9TH

Yay Yanks! Now kick some White Sox ass and maybe I'll have a reason to believe.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

I believe the term is 'Munson'd'

Are you FUCKING kidding me?

"I think I tore my sack!"

Or something thereabouts.

KKKlemens = Pussy

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Welcome Back My Friends...

to the show that never ends....

Circus atmosphere
Joe Torre wasn't kidding when he said this would be a circus, and the reason why the Yankees left Roger Clemens at home.

Fenway Park should have had a tent thrown over it, and not just because of the storm clouds that caused the start of last night's 9-5 Red Sox loss to the Bombers to be delayed by 30 minutes. About the only sideshows missing from this one were Zip the Pinhead, Tom Thumb, and Ula, the Painproof Rubber Girl.

Five hit batsmen, the last clearing the benches and bullpens;
princess masks and "I GOT IT!" shouts greeting A-Hole;
Torre getting Piniella-like in an umpire's face!

Yep, it's gonna be a wild weekend.
You can take the Yankees and the Red Sox out of a pennant fight. But you can't take the fight out of the Yankees and the Red Sox.
That's all. It's a law of baseball nature.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

God Damnit, Someone Cut Proctor's Nuts Off, NOW!

Dear Darth Boss George,
Fire Torre. Light Mattingly's ass on fire.
But fer chrissakes, DO SOMETHING.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

This is getting ridiculous...

Fair enough, the Skanks take 2 of 3 in da Zoo from the Sox (as they well should do at home) but to get SWEPT by the Halos while we're SWEEPING Tejas puts those two Times Square hookers at the back of the bus doling out 50 cent blowjobs.

12 and 1/2 back and it's only Memorial Day.

Heads. Will. Roll.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Yanks Philosophy

The past few months, we baseball fans have been force-fed the notion that the Yanks have finally changed their colors and abandoned the practice of signing big money stars in favor of developing younger cheaper on-the-up players. Yanks want Helton? Whazzupwitdat?!

Sunday, May 20, 2007

An Ugly Trend

Since 1932, the Yankees have only won two World Series (1956 and 1958) under a Republican President (and only six total of their twenty six titles). All eight of the championships over the last 48 years have come while a Democrat was in the Oval Office, despite Democrats holding the Office only 20 of those 48 years. In other words during those Democrat administrations, the Yankees are 8 for 20, during the Republican ones, 0 for 28. The Red Sox are the opposite; in a small sample size (very small), they have won all of their championships over the last 88 years while a Republican was in office.

TC, unless the Yankees win this year or the next, I'm afraid that for the good of the team we might need to vote Blue next time.

"Panic" Has Entered My Vocabulary

Yank killer instinct seems to be dead:
This one became just another loss when Joe Torre's Yankees couldn't get an out from a relief pitcher when they really needed one, the kind of out Aaron Heilman got against Derek Jeter in the top of the eighth when it was 8-6 and the Yankees had first and third with two outs and the people who had stayed at Shea felt as if they were doing what their team was doing, which meant hanging on for dear life.

Friday, May 18, 2007

RhoidBoy Comes Clean

Giambi admits he took steroids
"I was wrong for doing that stuff," Giambi admitted to USA Today before the Yankees played the White Sox yesterday. "What we should have done a long time ago was stand up - players, ownership, everybody - and said: 'We made a mistake.'"

We can only hope that this will, finally, make Sterling stop that ridiculous "Giambino" horseshit.

Babe only needed hot dogs, beer, and hookers to be the greatest player of all time.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

STANDINGS!

Just take a look at the standings... .700 baseball... most runs scored.... least runs allowed. Surely it will change eventually, but I'm gonna take a mental snapshot and enjoy this.

Monday, May 14, 2007

I don't believe the hype

The NY media may be willing to give us the pennant but I ain't buying it. Maybe unfrozen caveman is though:

"If the Red Sox keep playing the way they are nobody is going to catch them,'' Damon said after the Yankees were handcuffed, 2-1...

Friday, May 11, 2007

Something's gotta give

When did the AL East become the worst division in all of the bigs?

Only one team with a record above .500?

Oh, yeah, that's right...KKKlemens is back. Might as well issue the WS rings on the mound at Fenway prior to his start there.

Tell DBG to give Theo a call. I hear that he can get Matt Clement on the cheap.

Better yet, call Seattle. Post-season wonder-boy (and former Yankee great) Jeff Weaver should be available.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Take a Look Over at Third

village voice > news > Runnin' Scared: Bring Me the Head of Joe Torre by Allen Barra:
It's being argued that the Yankees can't let Joe Torre go because they don't have a Billy Martin drill-instructor type waiting in the wings to jolt this team out of its complacency. It may be, though, that such a veteran team doesn't need a DI—just a manager who is more of a first sergeant and less of an uncle.


I know it's near heresy, but If Uncle Joe gotta go, wouldn't Larry Bowa be the obvious choice to replace him?

Monday, May 07, 2007

From the "What the Hell were you thinking" department...

To me this makes no sense whatsoever.

You've spent untold BILLIONS bringing back KKKlemens and now you're sending this guy down?

Sunday, May 06, 2007

What He Said

The Darth Boss George Brigade: Is It Starting To Turn Around?

Rocket Makes it Official

From Darth Boss George's skybox, during a game where pitchers are throwing at hitters... and the Stadium goes fucking nuts.

IT'S "RETURN TO THE ZOO" TIME!

Someone go dig up Billy Martin.

Jesus, they have Clemens listed as a choice for "Player of the Game" and now he's yapping with Kay....

Friday, May 04, 2007

Why Nieves On Sunday?

I just read that Nieves is going to catch on Sunday. If Jor-Ji needs a day off why not give it to him on Saturday when Wang is pitching? On Sunday with Rasner pitching, we're more likely to need more offense and Nieves is even less likely than Minky to help provide it.

Am I the Only One...

who wants Flaherty to STFU?

Is It Starting To Turn Around?

Pettitte worked through trouble, Moose looked good, Mariano looked good, Farnsworth wasn't a disaster.

Hell, Minky even hit one out.

Things just feel like their starting to go well.

Now Kei and if CMW can get us back to .500 and from there something going the sky is the limit.

Think about this RSN, when the Rocket signs and Hughes comes back, the rotation will be Wang, Pettitte, Mussina, Hughes and Clemens. The Yankees might not lose a game in the second half.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Stop The Presses!

This would be comical if the bum wasn't making $40 million for his four year vacation, which comes complete with dugout seats for every game.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

We Have a Bastard

The LoHud Yankees BlogBreaking news: Marty Miller fired

Kill him. Right or wrong, take his ass out and hang it on a pike.

SOMEONE gotta pay for all those hammies.

The Fates are Driving Me Insane

PHIL FEELS NO-NO PAIN - New York Post Online Edition

May 2, 2007 -- ARLINGTON, Texas - There's cruelty, then there's what happened last night to the Yankees. Has any 10-1 victory in the team's history seemed so depressing?

There was Phil Hughes, the franchise's future - and from what was evident last night, the present - limping from the mound, the soreness in his left hamstring overshadowing the brilliance he had displayed for 61/3 innings.

The kid was on fire; now he's on the DL. I'm starting to feel like a member of RSN pre-2004: anything that CAN go wrong, WILL go wrong.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Wow!

I know it was only one start and it was against the Texas Rangers, but WOW! Did you see those pitch chart diagrams? Perhaps not, I was stuck with the Rangers home feed tonight. Since I'm in Atlanta, I'm at the mercy of the MLB Extra Innings feed choice. Anyway, according to the graphics I saw, every pitch was on the edge of the zone, none in the middle. I'll say it again, WOW!

Of course, now he'll be joining the rest of the team on the DL.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Did Cashman cut his tongue out?


I think so...

George Steinbrenner stayed silent about Joe Torre's job status following the Yankees' latest loss
Gonna be an A-bomb once it goes off.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Scientists are getting reports of a possible volcano erupting near Tampa Bay


How many more games do the Skanks lose before DBG loses it?
1?
2?
KKKlemens must be looking like this right about now...

The Yankess are a $195M last place team
..owner George Steinbrenner hasn't commented on the slide.

"He won't say anything tonight. We'll see if he has anything to say tomorrow," spokesman Howard Rubenstein said.



Oh, I think I know what he'll say: "GET ME THE ROCKET ON THE PHONE NOW YOU STUPID SONS OF BITCHES!!"

Thursday, April 26, 2007

The Rookie Hughes' Lament

How about some RUNS?

Why Is Minky Batting Second?

Okay, I know with Jeter's injury, Mr. Torre is a little hamstrung filling out the lineup card, but come on. Why would he want Minky to have more opportunities to come to bat than Bobby, A-Rod (I think he's earned his rightfull nickname TC, for the time being at least), the Rhoidbino, Matsui, Jor-Ji or Cano (to name a few).

It's past time.

It may not be a walkoff but...

I'll take it

After the fiasco in the Fens Willy Mo redeemed himself. He's got his chance to shine and I hope he makes the most of it. We're still a little bitter about giving up Bo Derek for him.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

The Darth THUD! Brigade

Hmm, last place... figure that's gonna cost, what? An extra 2.8 million Rocket bucks? Compounded weekly?

Fuck it, just shoot me and put MY goddamn ass on the DL, too.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Girardi's Available

Full Blown Panic Mode

Desperate Bombers say 'Hughes gotta believe'

So it's come to this: Hughes will be the fifth rookie to start a game this season. At that time, kids who should be down on the farm, learning, will have been thrown into this season's sausage machine for 25% of the games played. Andy friggin' Pettite is the only face Torre seems to trust coming out of the bullpen. It feels like Farnsworth has been banished to some hell dimension on Planet Torre while Vizcaino, Proctor and Bruney are vieing for the title of "first reliever to burn out before the All Star break."

Clemens has gotta be loving this.

If not for A-Hole's torrid hitting, Darth Boss George would have gone full-tilt psycho by now.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Why The Standing Ovation?

Am I crazy. Didn't he give up 5 earned runs over 7 plus innings (and is on the hook for a potential 6th run)? When did giving up 5 or more runs over 7 innings become standing ovation worthy?

UPDATE: 6 earned runs over 7 innings.

Torre Wants Me to Pop an Anuerism

Pettite out of the bullpen?

GIVE ROCKET THE MONEY, NOW!

Did I forget to mention aura?

BANG


BANG


BANG


BANG!


Saturday, April 21, 2007

Unto the Breach

This website dies Monday morning. I tried, but I'm tired. I went to the wall; invited Michelle back in!, after warring with her....

I get? Bupkiss.

Take your shots. Unless I know by noon, eastern, on Monday that someone besides Me, Ric, and El Jefe are playing, it ends. And I ain't happy with them.

We can play over at LeatherPenguin. I'll give access as worth it.

If they wanna. At this point I'm riding an almighty "Fuck the world."

UPDATE: still pisse at the world, but hereabouts? not so much.

Friday, April 20, 2007

It's Only April, But...

it's still the Red Sox, so no matter how much I'd rather see the Yanks get their hands on the Mutts right now, I gotta play the cards I'm dealt.

Avoiding a sweep this weekend is all I ask from the Yankees. I think all the pressure is on the Sawx. Their batters are facing a pretty iffy trio of pitchers. You'd be insane to bet on Karstens or Wright handling that lineup, but stranger things have happened whenever these two teams meet. Pettite? I have no idea what Andy is gonna show up tonight. At the beginning of the season he was considered, at best, the Number Three; now he's the Number One. So if one of them can manage to win, I'll be a happy camper.

On the other side, Shilling, Beckett and Dicey have to shut down a batting order that is wicked scarier than anything they've seen so far this season. RhoidBoy seems to be getting into a groove, and having Matsui on the DL hasn't affected the offense at all. And A-Hole is sitting in the four hole, so smoking hot it's goddamn insane.

The Red Sox got to prove they can handle that lineup while the front line Yankee pitchers are not in the equation. If the Yanks manage to win two of the three games, RSN is gonna get freaked. If the Yanks somehow pull off a sweep, the Nation will go borderline mental....

If A-Hole goes bonkers and beats the crap out of Boston's top line pitchers in the process of that sweep going down, Red Sox nation will need fucking therapy. It'll be last August's "Boston Massacre" all over again. They'll all be curled up on the floor in fetal positions, sucking their thumbs and moaning "Why, God? WHY?"

UPDATE: Torre panics, blows it.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

I just threw up in my mouth

Is it too early to think destiny?

This is an Odd Feeling

Here it is, the day before the first meetup with the feckless Fenway fuckwits, and for me, it does... nothing. Whereas usually such an occasion would bring forth that sweet mixture of glee, rage and dread in my head, all I'm thinking is:
"Fuck the Sox. I want the Mutts and I want them NOW, while the hitting and bullpen are so smoking hot it don't matter who the hell Torre hands the ball to at the beginning of the game."
It's very weird. I look at the standings and see handing out a beatdown in Boston this weekend puts the Yanks in first place, and while I dig the idea, in my heart I don't really give a shit. I'd much rather see hellfire rained down on the Mutts so my next door Mutt fan neighbor has to shut the fuck up.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Whoa, A-Hole

He's getting to be ridiculous.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

The Bestest Way to Spend a Rainy Sunday

Yogi and a Movie: "The Jackie Robinson Story"

It's such a horrible movie that I just love it.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Whoever's Got The Pavano Voodoo Doll

Enough already!

I would say it's starting to get ridiculous, but we're way beyond that at this point.

"Hello? Columbus? Get me Hughes NOW!!"

You just knew this was coming sooner rather than later.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Is it Too Early for Me to Want Farnsworth Woodshedded?

I think not. Discuss

WTF is with this weather?

This is not the way that God intended the season to begin... Rather than sunburned noses from Gore's devasting suns rays, baseball parks across U.S.F'n A. have been getting regular analingus from Aeolus.
Cashman's Headwarmer demands warmer weather!

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Was This A-Hole's RhoidBoy Moment?

Rodriguez hits grand slam to win it

While being ordered about in a Spring Cleaning frenzy I'm watching the game and saying, "oh, Jesus, Clemens is SO coming back." Then RhoidBoy jacks a three, and I'm saying, "Honey? THE LIVING ROOM IS MINE." Then comes the ninth; Cano gets on and my "Hazel" act ends. Jeter walks. I say out loud, "Oh shit, here goes A-Hole."

Wife--who had also left her cleaning behind--says "Abreu's up."

ME: "No, he'll get on. The Gods demand this comes down to A-Hole."

Abreu gets nailed on the knee and I'm all, "I told you! If he doesn't drive in at least one run he's gonna get crucified on the Easter edition back pages and there ain't enough shrinks in the city to pull him out of the boo-hole he gets buried in."

And he smacks it into the black seats. Not just over the wall; over the old wall.

Death Valley. Mantle & Reggie territory.

I cannot wait to see how the NY Posties and Daily News' crew deal with writing the headline.

I think this might be like RhoidBoy's ninth inning, in the rain slam; it might make people cut him some goddamn slack. Look, I don't like the guy, at all, as you all know. But jumping all over his shit this early doesn't do anyone good.

So maybe today gives him some breathing space... as long as he doesn't forget to "shut the fuck up and play!"

RhoidBoy rode that slam... maybe not back into everyone's heart (I still think he should be fucking indicted), but at least he showed he wasn't gonna whine; wasn't gonna cry to reporters, and realized "Do something!" is all we request if we're gonna pay the ridiculous money that finances your fat life.

I also liked that when A-Hole rounded third and was heading for home, the first two guys to greet him were Jorge and Jeter. The Old Guard. It diffused all the internecine bullshit.

Just win, baby!

Let the Bidding War Begin!

if this kid's for real, he's gonna be one of the richest bullpen guys in history:
The pitch was nothing remarkable: Pat Venditte, Creighton University’s temporarily right-handed pitcher, threw a fastball past a Northern Iowa batter for a called strike three. It was his next windup that evinced this young pitcher’s uniqueness and, perhaps, professional future.

As his teammates whipped the ball around the infield, Venditte smoothly, unthinkingly, removed his custom glove from his left hand and slipped it on his right. Moments later he leaned back, threw a strike left-handed to the next batter, and finished the side in order.

Throwing Batters Curves Before Throwing a Pitch

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Switch those standings, BITCH!

Well, thanks to a dominating performance by Dice-K over the lowly Royales w/out cheese and an underwhelming performance by Andy "back spasm" Pettite over the equally lowly Tampa fishsticks, just like that, Beantown is back on top. Holy run on sentence, Batman! Hey Jeets, thanks for the GG caliber D!!
Picture courtesy of ESPN (all staff are Red Sux fans according to nyyfans.com- those guys rule!)

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Where Be the RSN Contingent?

The Royals?

Schooled by the ROYALS?

If not for CHB acting like a tool, I'd be climbing all over Shill's performance yesterday right about now.

I thought the NY Post's Joel Sherman was the biggest douchebag sports writer; CHB proves that thought wrong.

Opening Day Highlight

BOB-EEE MUR-CER
clap, clap, clapclapclap

BOB-EEE MUR-CER
clap, clap, clapclapclap

Bobby returns to the booth

Monday, April 02, 2007

A No Doubter

As in the game was no longer in doubt - not with Mariano in the pen.

Still, what would we rather he do in that situation?

MVP

You all know who I'm talking about.

If there was any justice in the world, his hit in the sixth would be a fine start to an attempt to win a third MVP award.

Top 2004 Free Agent Returns

Pavano is back. His long layoff has had no effect on his level of performance; he has picked up just where he left off a season and half ago.

We can look forward to many more performances just like this one.

Let the Madness Begin

SAY HEY! IT'S OPENING DAY!


Anybody know where I can get FAA info? I want a heads-up on what WarPorn machines are going to be doing the National Anthem overflight.