With Detroit's pitchers having to deal with this lefty/righty nightmare of an All Star batting order:
My goddamned dog should be able to go out on the mound as a third starter and be expected to win. Anything other than total annhiliation of the Tigers, followed by the bludgeoning of any other crew--especially the team from Queens--that stands in the way of another Broadway parade will be considered unacceptable.
If you bastards fuck this up it will cause every bit of Yankee ephemera in my possession (not bearing the name, number or likeness of Thurman Munson, Mickey Mantle, Donnie Baseball and Paul O'Neill) to be tossed in my backyard pit and put to the flame.
You hear me? Lately I've only burned the flag I've flown from Opening Day until you were eliminated; this year, I'll torch the whole damn collection, from tee shirts to caps to souvenir bats.