Mitt Romney Fails Math; Exposes RSN Wannabes

Will RSN Revoke His (self-claimed) Membership Card?

Duuude... don't even try playing baseball with Rudy. He'll eat you alive. Saying "Yankees Suck!" earns you nothing.


Seriously, how long did this jagoff write "Resident: MA" in his résumé? This guy lived in Mass for what? A dozen or so years? I do know one thing: Rudy knowswhat it means, back then, to say "1918."

Suzy is Off the Hook

Hawkins and Gage were the only two members of the Baseball Writers Association of America to cast a vote for someone other than A-Rod in the MVP race, and they both went with Ordonez.

"I saw Magglio play every day," Hawkins said. "What I saw was a player having an MVP year. I have no quarrel with anyone who voted for A-Rod. He also had an MVP year. But with the injuries the Tigers had and the effort and performance I saw from Magglio, there's no question he had an MVP year."

Gage uttered much the same belief.

"I went with what I saw," he said. "So many times, you have to vote off the stat sheet. I fully expected A Rod to win. He had a great year. But I saw an MVP year. There were stats to back up the impression that I came away with from the regular season."

A-Hole carried his team through a total pitching meltdown early in the season; your chump got dumped by the Indians.

Classless.

The Ultimate Homers

Sorry, Grandpa...I shoulda known better

So, how much is the Prince of New York going to get away with?



I would've thought he'd have learned something from his Granpa in Chicago...

Is there not a family resemblance?

He is SO Going to Jail

Kiss Cooperstown goodbye, Captain Asterisk.
Federal Grand Jury Indicts Barry Bonds

You have to believe the Feds wouldn't file unless they believe they have a bullet-proof, dead-to-rights case against King Melon Head of Roidersville.

The Smoking Gun is there with the 'E-filing' indictment goodness.

See You Down the Road, Mo

Eat shit and Die In A Fire:
FOX Sports on MSN - MLB - Sources: Rivera wants 4th year in deal:

"The Yankees remain the overwhelming favorite to retain Rivera. No other club is expected to even approach their proposal, much less top it. But Rivera, who turns 38 on Nov. 29, has instructed his agents to shop him, in part because he was angered by Hank Steinbrenner referring to his age in recent comments about the Yankees' offer, a source says. Rivera has specifically mentioned following Joe Torre to the Dodgers, and his agents also are contacting other clubs about his availability. Rivera, sources say, believes he deserves the same length of contract as Yankees catcher Jorge Posada, who is on the verge of re-signing for $52.4 million over four years, and Mets closer Billy Wagner, who received $43 million over four years after the 2005 season."

Really... go fuck a coconut. The third year was free money, and you think you deserve a fourth?

Welcome Back, You Sniveling Prick (Updated)

A-ROD PLEA: TAKE ME BACK PLEASE

Rodriguez made the short trip from Orlando to Tampa yesterday and met with the Steinbrenner family and Yankees officials at Legends Field where, according to Hank Steinbrenner, the soon-to-be-named AL MVP informed the club he wants No. 13 back.

“Alex, at this point, wants to be a Yankee and is willing to make sacrifices," Steinbrenner said. “Apparently he has had a change of heart so we will see. He reached out to us through a third party and it appears he wants to be a Yankee."

The Post's Vacc:

All you hear, relentlessly, is that the fan's voice doesn't matter, that it's ignored, that it's irrelevant in our sporting world.

Mostly, that's true.

Just not this time. Alex Rodriguez heard you. He felt your wrath. He absorbed your scorn. If negotiations with the Yankees head where it appears they're heading - with Rodriguez returning, with the Yankees scoring a major coup against Scott Boras, bringing A-Rod back on their terms - then you are allowed a moment to stand up and take a bow.

Take a bow? My ass! His John Hancock on a contract ain't gonna do nothing to abate the absolute contempt in which we will hold that little shit.

Understand something, A-Hole: we are not merely gonna boo you like you've never heard before; ask Reggie about having to duck coins getting hurled at you on your home field because we, who pay your fucking salary, perceive you to be an absolute douche who only cares about the money. In his case, we threw silver; you get copper, cocksucker. "Pennies from Heaven," bitch. You're gonna have to top last year's start just to make us let up a little bit.

You hear me, Slappy? You have no understanding of what kind of world of shit you are in for if you don't deliver that 27th ring this year. After this clusterfuck you and Boras made us endure, you better pray to God and hope to hell he's listening, because so help me, if there is no World Series flag getting hoisted on Opening Day 2009, in the spanking new House That Darth Boss George Bought, you're gonna need a football team of shrinks to deal with the crap we will heap on your psyche.

OH CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN says:

"Kid? Remember: you buy the ticket, you take the ride.... but Jesus Christ on a crutch, I wouldn't want to be you this winter. You might as well just get it over with and change your name to "Mea Culpa" right now and maybe the Bleacher Creatures will let you live... but not that bitch you call your wife. She's toast."

UPDATE: I said something along these lines either here, or at the other joint:

More than anything, it apparently was the very public and seemingly ironclad dismissal by Hank Steinbrenner after the opt-out that made A-Rod begin to re-think his willingness to let Boras once again dictate the direction his career would take.

"That's why he called me, to ask if Hank was serious about closing the door on him," a second person said yesterday. "From what I gathered, Boras had been telling him not to worry about what Brian Cashman was saying about the opt-out, partly because they knew they had George on their side.

"But then Alex saw the shift in power, with the Steinbrenner sons taking over, and here was Hank saying 'Goodbye, we don't want you if you don't want to be a Yankee.' Those words really messed with his mind because he really did want to be a Yankee."

MEET THE NEW BABY BOSS!
NOT LIKE THE DARTH BOSS!

Everybody, Sing!

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

Crawl, You Bastard

A-Hole Caves

I Can Breathe Again

POSADA'S HEART BACK IN PERFECT PLACE

Because the heart of the team is returning, because Jorge Posada is returning, a four-year, $52 million deal all but done that will likely keep him a Yankee until the end of his career. Posada has spent his entire career elbowing his way into the public consciousness, always overshadowed by bigger names and brassier names.

Yet if you were to take a poll among the 4 million-plus who show up at Yankee Stadium every year, if you extend the vote to the millions of others who claim the Yankees as their primary baseball addiction, you will find a battalion of relieved souls this morning....

Derek Jeter may be the nominal captain of the team. Any number of flashier players have posted all manner of flashier numbers through the years. But it has always been Posada who has represented the greater angels of the Yankees' soul, bringing a daily professionalism to the ballpark that is as evident as facade in centerfield and The Bat out by the parking lot.

Cashman and Baby Boss knew that the team in Queens were going to toss an ungodly amount of money at Jorge, so backing off and offering him what he wanted, a four year deal, was really a no-brainer; they gave a similar deal to Damon, so they also knew there would be absolute hell to pay if they let Jorge get away over--in Yankee terms--chump change. They need the steady hand of Posada to help the Kiddie Korps of pitchers that are the centerpiece of Cashman's rebuilding scheme. And with A-Hole out of the equation, they desperately need Posada's bat on the right hand side of the plate.

So now all that's left is Mo, who I am currently leaning towards telling to go fuck off if he won't take what's already on the table after reading this:

Rivera has been sitting on what is believed to be a three-year, $39 million offer for the past few days. The two sides were still negotiating last night, and the deal could still be tweaked.

Rivera, who turns 38 on Nov. 29, even brought his former manager into the discussion yesterday, telling The Associated Press that he would consider a move to join Joe Torre in Los Angeles if things don't work out with the Yankees.

"The Yankees are my first option," said Rivera, who is in the Dominican Republic. "But if that is not possible, there is Joe with the Dodgers."

Mo, I love ya, but you are just as friggin' delusional as A-Hole and Boras if you believe any other team will offer you a better deal than the Yankees, especially the Dodgers. Saying you'd be willing to go over to Yankees West is the first classless thing I've ever seen you do. You've got, maybe, two years left in that arm, Mariano. It takes you a couple of months just to get your act together... that third year at $13 mill is a goddamn gift.
UPDATE: OH CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN replies:

"Kid? Remember: you buy the ticket, you take the ride.... NOW, what are we gonna do with Jeter? Mark my words, he's gonna be a Reggie without the stick."

What an Absolute Douche

You're gonna need a diplomatic visa to ever again step one fucking foot into Brooklyn, you sellout shitheel.
Torre says A-Rod might join Dodgers - Yahoo! News

Captain Obvious Reports

"We're trying to win, but it takes more than one person. We've had teams that have won and we haven't had numbers like that put up, so you don't necessarily have to have those type of numbers in order to win."

Derek Jeter says Yankees can win without A-Rod

OH CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN replies:

"Kid? Remember: you buy the ticket, you take the ride.... My locker better be ready for me when you guys move into the new digs....

"And that guy Brosius can kick A-Rod's ass."

Rename This Clown "Mouth Full of Dicks"

Jon Heyman: What top free agents should expect to command - Thursday November 8, 2007 11:51AM

Baby Boss: "The Kids Ain't Going..."

Yankees say young pitchers not available - Baseball - MSNBC.com:

It’s pretty obvious which players we’re not going to trade,” the owner’s son said Wednesday, before rattling off the team’s most-prized young pitchers. “Chamberlain, Hughes and even Kennedy. Not for a position player.

People, take note of that final sentence, and then say to yourself, "Hankie has some serious Yohan Santana lust written into that statement."

Sounds like Baby learned something from Daddy Darth: "don't go berserk until you get something good in return."

Best Hot Stove Ever?

Alright, here's my predictions for both the Sox and Skanks:

Sox: Lester, Justin Masterson and No-co for Scott Kazmir

Skanks: Combo of two (Hughes, Kennedy, Chamberlain) and The Melkman for Johan Santana

OR

All three pitchers and Melky for Dontrelle Willes AND Miguel Cabrera


Both the Fish and the Twinkies need a CF. Makes more sense to make the Santana move with the caveat they get 72 hours to negotiate a new contract. Although, 'giving up the farm' to get both the D-train and Cabrera fills needs at pitcher and third.

It's the rivalry that brought us Reggie versus Bob Welch.

"Err, no." We never gave a shit. We knew as God playing witness,

Again, wrong.

It's the rivalry that brought us George Steinbrenner versus The Elevator.

And now, it's back. After all these years.

New York Yankees-Los Angeles Dodgers.

Once again, it's must-see baseball theater.

He's the Captain of the Good Ship "Raving Idiot"

originally posted at my personal Romper Room

considering his Columbia Law pedigree, I really should not be surprised that he's a total maroon, but when he wrote this: By Opting Out, Rodriguez Really Wants In

He put it in terms of uncertainty about the return of much-admired teammates, which sweetens, not sours, relationships. But his behavior makes absolutely no sense unless it was timed to precede the Girardi announcement, and that in turn makes no sense unless Rodriguez wants to be on his lineup card.He put it in terms of uncertainty about the return of much-admired teammates, which sweetens, not sours, relationships. But his behavior makes absolutely no sense unless it was timed to precede the Girardi announcement, and that in turn makes no sense unless Rodriguez wants to be on his lineup card.

Right there, in that simple sentence that prefaced that logically ridiculous paragraph, he brands himself an ass... if I heard those words come out of some mook's mouth while sitting at a bar I would have smashed him in the face even if he was six foot eight..

A-Hole couldn't give a rat's ass about Pettitte, Georgie, Girardi or Mo; for Sweet Baby Jeebus's sake, Boras had the gall to try throwing Mo under a bus!

As I said over at The DBGB, I think A-Hole and Boras screwed up by pulling the opt-out the way they did. It's obvious (at least to me) that they think they are still dealing with Darth Boss George. That crap died with Boomer's hamburger.

Those days are over. Now, it's Baby Boss, Hank, and I have a feeling he's gonna be an absolute prick when it comes to dealing with Boras and A-Hole.

If I'm Ian Kennedy, I'm worrying about my life in Pinstripes. Nothing personal, kid, but you are currently being jockeyed by The Anti-Christ. Ipso facto: Cashman might complain, but you are trade bait.

Remember, this is the Yankees. We will trade your ass in a heartbeat. If Baby Boss has learned anything from Darth Boss, it is "fuck these bastards who will not take the ride."

It's Hot Stove Time!

http://www.marianorivera.com/