Red Letter Day

Mutts are now the title holders of BIGGEST COLLAPSE IN MLB HISTORY!

Congratulations, Red Sox Nation

LeatherPenguin: Congratulations, Red Sox Nation

It's Retard Day in Yankeeland

Manager: Jorge
Pitching Coach: Moose
Bullpen Coach: Villone
Trainer: RhoidBoy

When asked to contribute, Mariano Rivera was heard to say, "Fuck you, Georgie, I'm taking the day off."

Red Sox Win AL East

Red Sox accomplish dual goals 1.) Win AL East 2.) Negotiate deal with Middle East to spread Red Sox brand in Arab culture while agreeing to exploit Red Sox to kill Jews.(is that the dude thats married to Christina Aguilera?)

On the Ropes; KO'd this Weekend?

GO FISH! FINISH THESE BASTARDS OFF.

C'mon, TC wants to be swimming in all the beer the bastard fans of that team in Queens will owe me if they pull the ultimate FAIL! and get knocked out of the playoffs after leading their division for the whole damn year.

You twirps thought I was outta my mind making those bets at the All Star break... who's laughing now, asshats?

UPDATE: too funny

Pictures That Are Too Funny NOT To Post

Still Darth Boss

Joe Torre dines with George Steinbrenner:

Torre said Steinbrenner was in good shape and encouraged by the Yankees' second-half surge, although the Boss was not pleased that his club failed to clinch a playoff berth on Tuesday night against the Devil Rays. 'I said, 'How are you doing?' and he said, 'Not so good,'' Torre said.

'That's when I knew he was fine."

"I Love You, Man!" Now DON'T FUCK UP

New York Yankees' Joba Chamberlain, right, and Alex Rodriguez celebrate aft... - MLB - Yahoo! Sports

Joel Sherman Stirs Up Some Shit

MUSSINA: THE ‘RULES’ HAVE GOT TO GO

“When you put on a uniform in the postseason, you’re available every day,” Mussina said. “That’s just simply the way it is.”

When asked if this represented a team-wide view, Mussina said, “I am pretty sure you can take a survey, and it would be the same opinion.”

Honest answer: "I have no idea."

Cash replies:

However, general manager Brian Cashman is entrusted to balance both the present and a future in which he wants a healthy, overpowering Chamberlain in the rotation. So as the overseer of the Joba Rules, he was hardly thrilled about Mussina’s sentiments, saying by phone last night, “Mike needs to worry about doing his job and we will do our job. “At the end of the day, we [upper management] know what we are doing.”

TC interprets Cashmanese: "Mussina, do you really want to fuck with me? STFU AND GBTW."

Hey, Moose? Here's a newsflash: You ain't necessarily needed for the 2008 rotation. Even if you go crazy hot, it might not earn you a spot. Joba already owns one of the right hand starting slots for next year. You? Two words: Bernie Williams.

You thinking dumping you would make Cash break a sweat?

UPDATE: OH CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN replies:

"An Oriole? My right hand has more honor digging through a hole in my pants. At least Reggie's unbearable bullshit won games that counted and got me some rings. That clown? He couldn't even put away that asshat Everett with a perfecto on the line... now gimme a beer, my throat's tight from all this talking."

God, I Hate This Shit [Updated}

First fourteen innings last night, now a goddamn five hour game with the Yanks using ten friggin' pitchers?

Screw this, I'm taking the dog for a walk.

UPDATE: RIGHT, like they'll allow me to walk out. (and "looking scared as hell being interviewed" Melky hereby earns the ultimate respect: tomorrow, I wear his shirt).

Let's Go Mutts!

Seriously, I think I'm enjoying watching them melt down more than the idea that the Yanks can end up winning the AL East.

If the Mutts blow the division there are a bunch of schmucks hanging out in a bar around the corner from me that are gonna have hell to pay (and cases of beer they're gonna owe me) after the crap I put up with from them all season long.

If somehow they pull a total collapse and fail to make the playoffs (don't know if that's statistically possible, but one can hope) I may end up owning that goddamn bar!

Yoo-Hoo, Red Sox Naaaa-shun...

WEER IN UR REAR VIEW MIRROR
LOOKING LARGER THAN WE APPEAR SCARY AS ALL GET OUT

teh funny

Shades of Bucky

"It's an honor to watch the best clutch hitter in history do his thing, and the best closer in history do his thing," said Roger Clemens, who in his first start since Sept. 3 dueled Schilling to a 1-all tie before leaving after six innings. "Jeter is one of the reasons that I got up off the couch and came back."

Jeter's HR knocks Schilling off beat as Yanks edge Red Sox


(image from noMaas.org)

with the game on the line:
Bacon vs. Jeter: Red Sox FAIL.
Mo vs. Papi: Red Sox FAIL.

Yes, Jabo-san, the world is, once again, set right tonight.
Now go pray to Thurman and then off to bed.

Captain Obvious (Eric Hinske): "If you can’t get up for a Red Sox-Yankees game, you’ve got something wrong with you."

Who's Your Daddy Pappa-san?

Dice-K wriggled of the hook, Andy was flat and his fielders were kicking the ball around most of the night (note to AL: "don't try running on Melky... he kicks ass when it comes to assists"), but the Yanks blasted the crap out of the Boston bullpen's best to win a game they had no business winning:
WHERE ARE YOUR BULLPEN GODS NOW?

This is why the New York Yankees are potentially the most dangerous team in the playoffs. That six-spot they put up in the eighth inning against two of the best relievers in baseball - Hideki Okajima and Jonathan Papelbon - is proof enough that the Yankees can hit good pitching.

What are the chances they'll come up against a pitching staff similar to the Tigers of last season and get shut down again? I wouldn't bet the house on it. Anyway, that was a hard question to answer last night after they overturned a 7-2 Sox lead and took an 8-7 victory last night at Fenway.

"It certainly makes us feel better than it makes them feel bad," said Yankees manager Joe Torre. "It's great for us. We lost a tough game in Toronto. We gave a lot away tonight. I want to say it's huge with 15-16 games left on the schedule. This is where emotion kind of takes over."

If I'm the Yankees, I fly Bucky in to deliver today's lineup card.

Yoo Hoo, oh NATION....

I've told youse mooks a gazillion times, "SPRING FORWARD... FALL BACK."

and now we approach the Fall, and what do you mooks do?

START FALLING BACK.



WE R IN UR REAR VIEW MIRROR
LOOKING LARGER THAN WE APPEAR SCARY AS ALL GET OUT

the weekend's gonna be Armeggedon

C'mon, admit it: there is nothing fucking bettah!

Not on His Own Team, but A-Hole is Definitely Gonna be the AL MVP

There's no way in hell it ain't gonna happen. After yesterday, he has his name notched next to Ruth, Mantle (who he most likely will pass within the next two weeks eight days, max ) and Maris as single season Yankee HR kings (and considering just how retarded his hot streak has been all season long, I would not dare bet against him passing those other two, too).

He's now hit more career HRs than any other third baseman, a record he already holds among shortstops.

Really, who the hell else could anyone vote for after this "magical" season shit?

SWEET BABY JEEBUS, HE HIT ANOTHER ONE WHILE I WAS PROOFING THIS!

Anyone who still thinks he's gonna opt out is out of their ever-loving, motherfucking mind. A-hole (or as I like to call him, "Chi Chi Rodriqweez"), is Madison Avenue GOLD as long as he wears Pinstripes. He leaves, he's a clean King Rhoid who will never hit Cooperstown with the impact he'd make having his plaque wearing a Yankee cap.

Just ask Dave Winfield. "Pimary Team=Yankees" Cap=Padre

Bleacher Creatures Aren't the Only Animals Lurking Out in Right Field

“Rally Monkey?” This is Da Bronx, Jack! We Don’t Need No Freakin’ “Rally Monkey”

To the Stadium Clowns Chanting "MVP!"

You're serenading the wrong guy.

This season's Yankee MVP does NOT work at third base; he is squatting behind the plate. When Gator was gonna leave Wang in the game Jorge said "no way, pull him right now" because he realized what Wang means to the team. He basically ordered Torre to give the ace of their pitching staff the hook, and Uncle Joe did what he was told to do by the REAL leader of this team. The fact the Yanks are still in the playoff picture rests entirely on Jorge's rock solid shoulders, not A-Hole's gaudy numbers.

Everyone makes a big deal about A-Hole possibly walking after this season... well, the idea the Posada might not be back scares me far more than losing A-Hole.

The Sun Was In My Eyes....

uh....my shoe was untied....yeah, that's it! A blister in his foot caused the elbow injury. How much is his endorsement deal for his footwear? And how much are the skanks paying this fuck?

Money well spent, George. Hey, at least he showed up against us in the Bronx.

I'm Glad I Got Hippie Hair...

because I'm about five fucking seconds from tearing the shit right off of my skull.

This Just In

Kenny Singleton just informed us that, despite having the Big Team call up a chunk of their top-line pitching staff, the AAA kids are beating the beejezus out of RSN's Pawtucket Punks.

Unpossible!
Yet true.

We stomp you in NY-Penn;
We stomp you in Triple A, too.

Good lord a mighty!
We're working the "youth voodoo."

WE R IN UR REAR VIEW MIRROR
LOOKING LARGER THAN WE APPEAR

I'm waiting for Cash (a la the Bruins with Bobby Orr) to just BUY some youth league (or an entire country's baseball program) that produces quality prospects.

I mean, it's not like he couldn't afford it.