Perspective

Reggie, Goose and Graig made the Bronx Zoo wild:

"If you want to know what happens when teammates really can't stand each other, think of Nettles punching out Reggie after the 1981 American League Championship Series, or Gossage and Cliff Johnson in a violent clubhouse brawl in 1979 that left the Yankee closer with a torn ligament in his pitching hand, dooming the season.

Today's STFU Moment

Jesus Christ! Is Manny pulling a Gay-Rod or what?

MURRAY F'N CHASS!

Once again, old Murray manages to embarass the NYT sports section. He obviously hates "new age" baseball. He's got some real zingers for quotes... Ol' Cantankerous Murr.... time to take the old horse and buggy home, hang up the derby, churn some butter and call it a career.

ATTENTION, MY FELLOW MORONS!

We're boring ourselves to sleep. We need new blood here. I got (wait a second)...97 Gmail accounts to divvy out for people who want to sit at the bar and throw monkey poo at me and you.

Oh, and I'm working on turning the layout upside down and inside out... which means if you got a suggestion, bring the sucker up.

this is part of my starting point:


I'm losing all that "strike back" crap... hell, we're running a frickin' cliche already with "Darth Boss George."

BUT THIS WILL ALWAYS BE AN OUTPOST OF THE EVIL EMPIRE.
(at least until Henry gets crazier than that hundred mill he dumped on a question mark Jap.)

I Feel Safe That I'll Be Low Score Here

You Are 4% Massachusetts

You Yankees loving homo! You probably think Starbucks coffee tastes better than Dunkin Donuts.

How Massachusetts Are You?

I must, though, tell the ASSHOLE who wrote this script: Dunkin Donuts is the five boroughs, numbnuts, even if it was born in Quincy. That Starbucks shit was hoped for by a pack of HAA-vaahd Yard, Beacon Hill weenies. I've never--and will never--give them a frickin' nickel as long as there are dirty pushcarts shoveling dogs, pretzels, and cantakerous cups of joe.

UH-OH!!!

Abreu strained his oblique during his fall from the ugly tree... let the Nancy Drew comparisons begin!!

If He was a Horse, He'd Have Been Put Down by Now

THE KING OF PAIN By GEORGE KING - Yankees - New York Post Online Edition

February 26, 2007 -- TAMPA - The MRI tube at St. Joseph's Hospital should have Yankee pinstripes and the No. 45 painted on the side.

When the Yankees' medical staff told Carl Pavano yesterday he was headed to the hospital for an MRI and X-rays of his left foot, the oft-injured pitcher didn't need to ask directions.

Listen up, Punk: even if that hoof is broken, you wrap that sucker up and pitch, dammit! Or Moose may damn well kill you.

I Need to Find Me a Japanee!

I was reading this, Interpreters in Baseball Making Sure Nothing Is Lost in Translation - New York Times, and it dawned on me I need to find a Japanese guy (Wife wouldn't stand for a girl) equivalent for my buddy, Manny the Spic, to let me know when the interpreter is lieing through his teeth. Manuel usually ends up saying, "that's not what he said, asshole," when we'd watch guys interpret Spanish-only players' comments and such, then give the real translation. Most times the difference in translations would be minimal, but sometimes the interpreter would be delivering real whoppers in their attempt to clean up what some pissed-off player was really saying.

I mean, I'd seee the look on Matsui's face when he'd answer some question, and after hearing the interpreter's English answer--always eith far longer or outrageously shorter than the gibberish Matsui had spit, be sitting there thinking, "I know that ain't right."

Shocker! Yank Beat Writers Hacks Write About Baseball

And they are all drooling over young Master Hughes...
HUGHES DA MAN By GEORGE KING - New York Post:

The Yankees can't play the media card ever again concerning Philip Hughes. No longer is he a product of the hype machine. As of yesterday, every story concerning the right-hander will start with glowing observations from Jason Giambi and Todd Pratt.

The kid faced RhoidBoy, Matsui, Todd Pratt and Raul Chavez in a 34 pitch BP session. Only two balls were hit into fair territory.

Harper in the Daily News, on the reaction from people watching the kid's first session:

Even an old hand such as third base coach Larry Bowa sounded like a crazed fan after watching Hughes snap off a sharp-breaking curveball that froze Todd Pratt at the plate.

"Did you see that hook?" Bowa screamed as he came jogging past a couple of reporters near the Yankee dugout. "That was nasty."

Newsday's hack featured this from the Giambalco: "he's just got filthy stuff," who went on to liken Master Philip to "a young Rocket" who should have been called up last year.

So even though everyone with the Yanks' braintrust is adamant that Hughes will not be coming north when the Yanks break camp (a decision Jorge Posada seems to think should be an absolute no-brainer; that the kid is ready to rumble with the big boys right now), how long will it take the beat writers to start banging their pots and pans and demand that Philip breaks camp and heads for the Bronx instead of AAA ball?

I'd say the howling will begin after the first exhibition game that Igawa or Punkass Pavone get whacked around.

Stop. Stop. STOP!

This is getting ridiculous (all emphasis mine)
New York Daily News - John Harper: Score it an error on Derek for big chill:

Only now, finally, Jeter finds himself in a situation where something other than performance does matter. He repeatedly avoided questions yesterday by saying his relationship with A-Rod had no relevance to the Yankees trying to win a championship, and here is where he was dead wrong.

Of course it matters because it matters to A-Rod, or at least it did for the last three seasons, when A-Rod desperately wanted to restore his old friendship with Jeter, to the point where it may have messed with his head.

The good news for Yankee fans is that A-Rod finally felt secure enough to go public about his diminished friendship with Jeter. Perhaps that will translate to a more comfortable A-Rod this season, one who will be less concerned with trying to please the world and more likely to relax and hit when it counts.

Still, A-Rod's characterization of his relationship with Jeter demanded some type of explanation from the captain. But he wasn't budging yesterday, stonewalling questions about what happened to their friendship, particularly when he was asked about the infamous Esquire Magazine article from 2001.

ARE YOU OUT OF YOU FLIPPING MICK MIND, HARPER? If I walk up to you, spit in your face and call you a POS, you're NOT gonna tell me to "go screw" for the rest of my natural born life?

When did Oprah steal your balls?

Whatever the reason, people who know him [Jeter] say that when he believes a trust has been broken, nothing can repair the damage.

Damn right. I had a cousin who years ago dissed me over an invitation to his wedding. He invited me, but NOT the girl I'd been living with for three years (and the "out of wedlock" crap wasn't even his excuse; it's was "no seats" with a 300 plus guest list). Everyone told me "let it go." I said "No, he's fucking dead to me." Wouldn't talk to the little fuck for years--and today barely can manage a "hello", but never made an issue of it; I just ignored him, as I also ignored every little NOODGE who tried to play "peacemaker."

FUCK THAT. HE SAYS "I WAS A DICK" AND IT ENDS. That's all A-Hole needs to do, too.

You ALL Better Just STFU

Jeter: I Support A-Hole

TAMPA, Fla. -- Derek Jeter said Tuesday that his cooled friendship with Alex Rodriguez is an unimportant topic, one day after the third baseman admitted that the teammates are no longer as close as they once were.

"It doesn't surprise me," Jeter said Tuesday. "I don't see the relevance of it. We support each other and we're pulling for each other. That's all that matters. The relationship has no bearing on us playing baseball."

translation: "hey, the dude's my bitch and he damn well knows it. He should shut his pie hole and MAKE ME A SAMMICH!"

What is this? An episode of Will & Grace?

As if the two were ever best buds. What the Hell was Gay-Rod thinking when he decided it was "important to publicly confirm what others have said since he joined the team?"

I'll tell ya' why. It's because EVERYONE hates you. It's because you go to FIVE shrinks. It's because you CHOKE. It's because you have to look up TEAMMATE in the dictionary.

It's the curse of Gay-Rod. I've been saying it since he left Seattle. Thank GOD ALMIGHTY we didn't get him.

Boo Frickin' Hoo

this guy is a fucking idiot (this time, I'm not talking about The Lip)New York Daily News - Sports - Mike Lupica: Heater gone, so only thing left is hot air:

"Randy Johnson suggested yesterday that somehow he was used as a floor mat during his time with the Yankees. He was not, unless you count the way he got hit by the Angels and Tigers in the playoffs.

Johnson was judged here the way everybody is, on results. This is still a results place and Yankee Stadium is still a home office for that, the way it is the home office for tradition and World Series titles and the biggest money and all the rest of it. If Johnson had delivered the way he was supposed to, and that means winning the most important games he pitched for the Yankees, it would not seem so important to him that some of the people criticizing him didn't get to know what a swell guy he really is."

Right. We remember the dumbfuck's intro to Fun City.

You had one purpose: win playoff games.

Go die in a fire.

He's One Second's from TRIGGER FLEX AWAY FROM GETTING HIS ASS Fucking Shot

ROCKET: 80-20 I'LL RETIRE By GEORGE KING - Yankees - New York Post Online Edition:"

Clemens yesterday told Houston television station KRIV there is an 80 percent chance he is going to end his Hall of Fame career by retiring."

Oh, excuse me... where have I heard that bullshit before? You come back, yeah, come right back to town....

THERE'S A FIRE AWAITING.

Future Boss

Looks like the mini-Boss took one look at the potential of the BoSox rotation and decided to hit the bottle. What a disgrace!!!! I'm just kidding, I don't judge... Can't say that I blame him though!

Nice Sentiment; Wrong Player

Yankees to honor Cory Lidle - Yahoo! News

TAMPA, Fla. - The
New York Yankees will honor the memory of Cory Lidle by wearing black arm bands on the left sleeves of their uniforms this season.

Sorry, but flying your frickin' plane into the side of a tall building perched on the East River is not, in my eyes, something worthy of being memorialized... especially when the player wasn't exactly what you would call a "go to" guy--or even recognized on a sidewalk by anyone other than the most rabid of Yankee fans.

But if they are going to do this, they damn well better put Hank Bauer's number on that sleeve, too.

Swing, BATTER BATTER!

Let the Madness Begin!

Our Lion in Winter...
TALK TO THE DARTH BOSS HAND!

TAMPA - You knew there would be fallout from George Steinbrenner's near-firing of Joe Torre last October. You just didn't know how much. But Day 1 for Yankees 2007 left no doubt: The circus is in town.

Pitchers and catchers don't take the field for another day, but with Legends Field open for business yesterday, the frenzy was such that an army of reporters, photographers and cameramen not only chased after George Steinbrenner, but earlier chased after George's driver/security man . . . the thinking being that he would lead us to The Boss.

To see and hear George these days is to know how silly this exercise has become. Whether because of age or health issues, he does not pause to answer questions, but merely barks out brief responses while moving, always moving, toward the cover of some area that is off-limits to the press.

Yet we hound him, forever trying to bring back the old George.

New York Daily News - John Harper: Torre's 'A' to 'Z' starts, ends at A-Rod A-Hole
there; fixed that for you...

And here, campers, might be the flat-out dumbest shit imaginable, courtesy of the NY Post's resident tool, blathering about Torre's future:

If Steinbrenner, who has stepped back but will make the call on Torre's pinstriped future, doesn't bring him back, the Boss runs the risk of Torre landing in the Red Sox's dugout. Should the Bosox not make the postseason for the second straight season, Terry Francona could pay the price.

as the FARKers say: O RLY? I cannot for a moment imagine Uncle Joe would trade in all the NYC love he's earned by signing on with the Feckless Fenway Fuckwits™... at least not while Jeter's still wearing Pinstripes. Besides that, I think if they hired Torre, RSN would have a collective heart attack.

When LiteBrites ATTACK

Save Boston!

note: don't click nuthin... the program seems to go bonkers and just shout all the sound clips in an "going downhill" snowball

when I heard " Bucky Effin Dent" I knew this was a keeper.

There's room for one more in the barbershop quartet

Never expected this out of Mo. Always thought of him as a class guy, nice suits and all.

But after that interview it sounds like he's warming up his voice box al a Pedro and Schilling.

Who's next to cry? Hold on...it's the Mutt's #1 pitcher in 2008! Minaya must be absolutely drooling at the possibilities.

What would happen to the Mick and Double-X today?

Bill Clinton can skull-fuck fat broads on the seal but this is causing consternation?

As TC is wont to say, "Asshats"

10 Burning Questions?

The only things worth mentioning in this article are:

1. Really don't give a shit. Honestly. His yearly fucking 'will he or won't he' drama is getting too National Enquirer for me. Listen up, FuKKK-head. Make a decision - NOW - or quit giving interviews to everyone and their teenage daughter journal-keepers.

3. Somewhat justifiable perception? Gay-Rod folds under pressure like a cheap lawn chair. And, much like Will Smith, he's scared of and cries at curse words.

GAME ON!

WELCOME BACK, RED SOX NATION!

I've unfurled my Yankeee flag and hung it above my door...

and all you bottom-feeding Mutt fuckers? DEATH IN SPADES!



a friend asked me," isn't that supposed to be a Yankee thing, that website? So why those two Boston guys you're always seemingly duking it out with... what's up with that?"

ME: Well, douchebags like you won't sign up, so shut the fuck up.

AT LEAST THEY COME OUT TO PLAY.

Are the leaves budding?

Why do I ask? Because it's TRUCK DAY!

However, this day is more important. Why? Because it's the day I nearly resigned from the military and swore I'd NEVER vote for a Democrat again.

With 24 (or so) Hours to Go...

I'm facing a problem: What do you call an apprentice Sith?

Son-in-Law Steve Swindal, who seems to now be more in charge and involved than Darth Boss George (except for DBG's occasional eruptions), obviously cannot be granted "Darth" status; until he shows himself worthy of the title, it will not be bestowed, dammit!

So what do I call the anointed heir?

UPDATE: I've had it all wrong, it seems. Boss George should have never had been tagged "Darth" in the first place. Instead, it should have been "Lord," and Cash should have been "darth-ified."

I think; I'm far too un-grocked to this whole "Star Wars Universe" shit to really understand the damn flow chart controlling these kinda things.

Bite Me More!

Got Melk?

Bummer Day in Da Bronx

Farewell to Yankee great

Hank Bauer, the rough-hewn, much-decorated ex-Marine who went on to become an integral player on seven Yankee championship teams from 1949-59 and whose record of hitting in 17 consecutive World Series games still stands, died yesterday of lung cancer in Shawnee Mission, Kan. He was 84.

more here.

Also, what everyone watching could see coming:

One of the most revered Yankees of this generation acknowledged last night that it finally looks like "Bye-bye, Bernie."

Longtime outfielder Bernie Williams admitted that he is not inclined to take the Yankees up on their recent offer to head to spring training later this month on a minor-league contract, with no guarantee of making their Opening Day roster.

I can't stand the idea that Bernie--who is probably still better than a boatload of players littered around various MLB rosters--won't be coming back. If it was my call, I DUMP A PITCHING SLOT to make room for him, if only out of the fealty he has shown to the Empire.

One Week to Pitchers and Catchers, Right?

BITE ME, CHIEF



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Oh? BTW

A-Hole's New York

AAAAGHH! I'm Doomed

WIFE traded e-mail addys and cell phone numbes with....

Wife came home, dumped her camera, and said, "You might be interested in this... (calls up this pic) I think you know this woman."

ME: "Suzy Q? Where did you take this picture?"
WIFE: "Company had a thing for women.. glass ceiling stuff. She was a scream. You would not believe the dirt that girl can tell."
ME: "Did you ask the obvious question?"
WIFE: "What, I'm stupid? She says Murcer is stable, but "keep praying," because it ain't over."

ME: "What else did she say?"
WIFE: "She's happy a certain guy is going back to Arizona."

A-Hole Intent on TC Switching to "Gay-Rod" Whenever the Asshole's Name is in Play

He's written a novella for knee-biters:

'Out of the Ballpark' follows a boy - appropriately named Alex - whose baseball team is playing in the playoffs. Alex, who is a second baseman, makes a key error in the game and begins to put extra pressure on himself. Only his play gets worse. Sound familiar?

The stuff of nightmares and homicidal fantasies, actually;

Alex's team, the Caribes, overcomes his play to reach the championship game. Alex works harder, waking up before sunrise to practice, throwing a ball against his bedroom wall 500 times a day. Without giving away the ending, let's just say that the Yankees should hope that life imitates art come October.

Projecting much, A-Hole? It's no wonder you wrote for an audience in that age bracket, since anyone older than say, ten--and aware of the author's real life existence--would be cracking up laughing at the idea of "Alex" saving the day.

Tough Choice

But I've gotta go with Pudge just for the epic brawls with TC's favorite. Though he's my favorite current Dirt Dog, Tek's beating up on Gay-Rod doesn't equate the same machismo as a Fisk-Munson title bout.

For What It's Worth...

Goose belongs in the Hall of Fame.
Sparky belongs in Monument Park.

So, one more year, huh?

Quit pulling the Petey and just shut up.

It’s no secret that Pedro and Schilling were not the best of friends, and it’s no secret that Pedro was wounded that Schilling overtook him as the Sox’s best pitcher. It turns out the two pitchers might not be that different after all. Negotiating in the media? Check. Playing on fans’ emotions and Boston’s tendency towards soap operas? Check. Needing the attention focused on himself? Check.

Who's laying odds that Omar Minaya will be on the horn to Bledsoe's old house come the end of the season?

The Boy Who Cried Wolf

That's the link from Fox Sports' MLB site . Should be linked "So long, and thanks for all the fish."

Love Mussina's quote: Pavano "needs to earn the trust from the players, the coaches, the manager and the organization."

No, fuck-tard. The $40M pinhead needs to pitch.

Alright, who's the tool at the AP?

Alright, maybe there are a number of idiots but who is the pud-knocker who wrote this?

Does he really think our rivalry could get any more frothing-mouth rabid? As if tossing some frickin' sushi into the equation is going to get things boiling over.

As TC says, "Asshat"

My Loathing Of this SOB Has Reached Epic Proportion

New York Daily News - Sports - Clemens: Return hinges on playoffs

"You put your body through a lot of punishment and then you come up one game short like (Houston) did last year; for me, it was waste of time," Clemens said. "If you don't have an opportunity to go to the playoffs and have a chance to win, it's a waste of time for me."

Hey, douchebag? Did you ever think that maybe if you had played the entire fucking season they would NOT have finished one game short?

Asshat.